"Eli—" Mom said, and Hawk looked up from his phone.

She had stopped in the doorway of his room, a hand still on the doorknob, as if she wasn't sure if she could enter or not - and Hawk felt a sting in his heart, remembering that he still hadn't apologized to Mom for their fight the day before.

"What is it? I told you I want to be alone." Hawk groaned, and turned his eyes back to his phone, scrolling through the Insta.

He was lying on his bed, still wearing the same clothes he had worn at the arcade, even if it was past bedtime already. He just didn't have the energy to even think about a shower, a change of clothes, a supper. Those things were so fucking normal, so fucking every day, and his life had changed tonight, something in him had changed forever. The rotation of the Earth had turned under his feet, and he was unstable, he was slipping, he didn't know who the Hell he was anymore.

The Cobras had wanted to go out and celebrate the victory, but Hawk had made some stupid excuse and come home instead. But here it wasn't any better. Here was Mom with her worried eyes and a frown on her forehead, asking questions Hawk didn't want to answer. Where were you, Eli? What happened? Why are you so upset? Why won't you talk to me, Eli, I just want to help.

There was nothing Mom could do to help. And had she known what Hawk had done, she would throw him out of the house, she would fucking renounce him.

"But Eli—"

"I'm just tired, I swear. Just leave me alone, Mom, please," he muttered, keeping his eyes on the phone, even if he wasn't really looking at it at all. All he could think about was the sound Demetri's arm had made when he had twisted it, the sharp snap of a breaking bone, the raw cries of pain that had left Demetri's lips.

Those sounds crawled into his stomach and made it turn, a sudden wave of nausea brought the acrid taste of bile into his mouth. He swallowed hard to push that down, but it did little good.

"It's not that. I just thought you'd like to know that Sky's at the door," Mom said, rather sharply, making Hawk finally look up from his phone. "She's asking for you—"

Hawk was on his feet in a heartbeat, rushing down the stairs the next. He didn't stop to think, he acted on instinct. Sky was at the door, and Hawk's heart was in his throat as he ran down the stairs, Sky was at the door, she wanted to see him—

And for a fleeting moment, he thought she was here because she knew how much he was hurting, how fucking scared he was. That somehow she had felt the pain of his breaking heart, and had come to save him, that she would open her arms to him, and she would hold him when he cried, she would tell him that she forgave him, that it was all okay, that it was all going to be fine—

His fragile, all-consuming hope died the moment he saw her.

Sky stood on the front steps, wearing a pair of jeans and a pink hoodie, hugging herself tightly as if to keep her insides from falling out. The tears on her cheeks, her red-rimmed eyes, revealed that she had been crying.

And just like always, it was his fault.

Hawk hesitated in the doorway, his stomach dropped to his feet as the mental image of him walking into Sky's welcoming arms was crushed. Sky looked at him like she wanted to kill him, with tears and fire in her green eyes, and Hawk desperately didn't want to hear what she had to say, not now, not ever.

"Hi—" he said, clearing his throat as his voice failed him. "What— what are you doing here?"

She didn't answer, just glanced at the door that was still open, and Hawk took that as a sign to step out and shut the door behind him, to give them some privacy. The night was surprisingly cool, the wind came from the Ocean, and it chilled Hawk even through his hoodie, it sent Sky's hair flying around her pale face in a way that called Hawk to pull the escaped strands behind her ear. But he couldn't do that, not anymore, so he just pushed his hands into the pockets of his sweats and licked his lips to repel the bitter taste that still lingered on them.

"How could you?" Sky breathed, as soon as the door closed behind Hawk's back and they were alone, "How could you break Demetri's arm?"

Of course, she was here to defend Demetri. Of course, he should have known that but the stupid hope that she was here for him, still lingered at the edge of Hawk's thoughts and he hated it, hated that he still cared about what Sky thought, that he still wanted her more than he wanted this life.

"Who told you?" He asked, turning his eyes away from her face. It was easier to talk that way.

"What does it matter? Is it true? Did you do it?"

The anger and despair made Sky's voice break. She stood right there in front of him, so close that he could smell her scent of roses and vanilla in the air, and everything about her called to him, so sweet and so painful it took all he had not to fall apart.

"It's true," he rasped, tilting up his chin. "It's also none of your business."

Sky drew in a sharp, trembling breath as if his words caused her physical pain.

Good.

The more she hated him, the sooner she would leave. For Hawk couldn't take this much longer - this unbearable longing that was tearing his chest apart, this mindless, irrational need to throw himself at Sky's feet and beg for her forgiveness—

—which would never be granted.

She hated him, she despised him, she had stopped loving him and all this, her showing up at his front steps, was just prolonging the pain that was fucking killing him already.

"How can you say that?" Sky cried, tears filling her eyes. "Of course, it's my business! Demetri is my friend! You promised not to hurt him—!"

"I don't owe you anything,. You fucking dumped me. It's not like I need to explain myself to you—"

"Yeah, you're right. You don't. But I... I just don't get it. How could you? This is Demetri we're talking about—!"

Something broke in Hawk's chest.

He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms, to kiss her tears away, to breathe in her salty taste, to bury his face into her neck—-

And it would never happen, never, never, never again and he felt like he was dying, like the world was collapsing, like he was taking a bullet into his heart.

"Why are you here defending him? Why are you blaming me for something he caused? He fucking deserved it! He started this whole fucking thing and I just finished it!"

"By breaking his arm?! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Jesus— What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? Why should I care what you think? Go to Demetri if you love him that much!"

"I was with him! In the hospital!" Sky cried, her face twisting with anger and disgust. "Where you put him! And you know what? I wanted to call the cops on you, you asshole, but he wouldn't let me. He fucking lied to his Mom and the doctors, he told them he had tripped on the stairs."

That felt like a blow.

All this evening Hawk had been waiting for someone to come for him. He could have been sent to juvie for all he knew, he had been mentally preparing for Mom's tears and Dad's anger when he was dragged away in cuffs—

But Demetri had lied, for what reason, Hawk could only guess.

It made him feel like shit. Like he owed something to that asshole.

Anger was breaking through, anger that was fueled by shame and guilt, anger Hawk couldn't, didn't even want to, repress.

"Why should I care? Why the fuck are you even here?!" Hawk's voice was breaking. Everything in him was ugly and raw and aching for violence. He had never wanted to hurt Sky before, but now he did. He wanted her to shut up, he wanted her to leave, he wanted her to feel just as fucking miserable as he did. "You fucking dumped me! Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"I can't believe I ever dated you—" Sky spat the words to his face. "You're a fucking psycho!"

"Yeah, well maybe you have a type," Hawk rolled his eyes at her.

Sky looked like he had slapped her. Her eyes went wide, all color fled her cheeks, and Hawk knew he had opened Pandora's box. There was no limit to the horrible things that could crawl out of his mouth after this one, and the worst part was that he didn't even care.

His heart was bleeding onto the fucking front steps of his home, so why should Sky get to keep hers?

"I should kick your ass for that—" Sky sobbed. "You fucking asshole—"

"Yeah, right!" Hawk mocked. "As if you could."

"But I did! I beat you in the All Valley!"

"Because I let you!" Hawk yelled. "I fucking let you win, so that you wouldn't lose your shit like always—!"

"What—?" Sky's eyes widened. Her lips trembled as Hawk's words sunk in. "What did you say—?"

"You heard me! I had to let you win 'cause you were so fucking messed up! I was so sick of your stupid, neverending drama—"

Hawk knew things were spinning out of control, he knew he should just stop, that he should just stop and shut his stupid mouth, but he couldn't. This fight had become a beast, it had a life of its own and he was shouting, spitting venom at her face, words leaving his lips like bullets that were meant to hurt, kill, destroy.

"My drama—?" Sky breathed, tears falling down her cheeks. "I lost my best friend. I was almost killed—"

"It was always about you, about your issues, about how fucking hard everything was for you!" Hawk shouted, his voice shattering. "Like you're the only one who's suffered! Like you're the only one who's been through Hell! When were you ever there for me, huh? Never! You were never there for me—!"

"Then why—" She was crying hard now, sobbing so that she could barely get the words out of her mouth. "If it was so fucking hard to be with me, then why—- why did you even want to get back together?"

His lips were trembling, his chest was heaving and he was choking in his anger, in this rage that was burning him to ashes.

"You know why—" he spat the words to her face. "Why would anybody be with you? To get some pussy."

As soon as the words left his lips, he knew he had crossed a line. That he had said something that could never be unsaid.

Sky drew in a sharp breath, and then—

— she slapped him across his face so hard that Hawk almost dropped.

Teeth scraped the soft inside of his cheek, the taste of copper and iron filled his mouth.

Yeah, I deserved that—

His ears were still ringing, but with a groan, he straightened up, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and spat some blood on the front steps.

"Sky, I—"

But she didn't let him finish whatever it was that he'd been about to say.

"Fuck you!" Sky seethed, and swirled around. Her shoulders were shaking with sobs as she rushed down the stairs.

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