I drove away and cursed at my own self for acting like a desperate idiot. I was at the verge of going on my knees when she said we couldn't be together, and that's when I realised I might be going insane...or stupid.. perhaps a little bit of both.

Seeing her again was beyond nostalgic. Elisabeth looked more beautiful than ever, jubilant and so much healthier with that man than she ever was with me. And I hated it. But then again, I was glad she was finally alright. That she was doing better than before. But I can't deny the absolute rage that I felt the second she picked him over me. It infuriated me and I just had to get out of there before I did something I'd regret.

Like drag her with me against her will or kill that son of a bitch. Which would be a losing game for me in the end. She'd hate me if I did anything to that man.

Fuck.

I squeeze the steering wheel with my hands and step on the fuel, driving full speed ahead, going off the road and into open fields. It's the middle of the night and moving across the fields of acres and acres of land made the ride more agonizing. Never before in years have my emotions been all over the place. I don't even know where the heck I'm driving to. Or who these properties belong to and I honestly don't give two shits.

I keep me eyes focused, avoiding bumps and trying to see ahead.

I can't seem to shake away the feelings in my chest. It's been long since I've felt anything like this, It even hurts.

I can't believe Elisabeth rejected me.

And I can't believe I led myself to Tennessee, from New York to Florida, only to be let down. I wasn't expecting this. And then that man, fuck him. I saw him walking into the livingroom and then he noticed I was talking to Elisabeth. I ignored him but I didn't miss the look of triumph on his face the moment Betty turned me down.

God, I feel like an idiot.

Why did I go after her? May be I'm sick in the head as she said. She was right, I don't love her...so what was I doing on her front porch? Why do I want her in my life so desperately? Why can't I just let her go?

It's her fault. She had to show up in my life and fuck with my feelings. She just had to be beautiful, sweet, smart.....she just had to be wonderful. She just had to have those eyes that I can see straight through, and that smile, and that voice that sends me to cloud nine. She just had to be perfect.

My phone rings and I ignore it.

It rings again and again and I finally grab it from the back seat. Perhaps it's Elisabeth.

Shit, the disappointment.

It's April.

"What?" I answer it.

She paused for a bit, "Are you alright? You don't sound no good."

"I'll be back soon, don't call me again till I return."

"Wait ..wait...wait....." She implored but I hung up and throw the thing back on the seat.

Why did I even bring her with me?! Despite the fact that she was extremely convincing but I also gave-in to easily. And not forgetting she's the only person who knew where Betty and Enos could've been. My investigator would have taken weeks for sure. And April blackmailed me once see realised how impatient I was getting.........so there.

Good thing she ain't as annoying as I thought she'd be.

After hours of driving in the middle of nowhere. I decided to head back. My mind was far from being cleared, infact, I was more conflicted.

"What the fuck do I do now?" I gumbled with myself. Betty denied me and the last thing I wanna do is plead. And fuck, I never beg anyone for anything, but tonight, I practically begged her to leave with me. What have I become?

I could punch the air.

I arrive at the lodge a couple hours later and park the car at the farthest parking spot I can find. I need to smoke a cigarette and there's a sign at the entrance that prohibits that. How boring...

I grab the lighter from my jacket and the cigarettes at the dashboard. I don't bother to roll the windows down and I dangerously let the smoke fill the car. After six cigarettes and intoxication, Euphoria hits me, my eyes are too dry and heavy to open, so I close them and then let myself see her face. I permit my mind to run wild. She's laying on my bed wearing only her earings and an angelic smile. She looks so pure that way. And I don't even dare touch her in fear that she'd disappear.

She truly fucked me up and didn't even see it coming. I don't get it. How did she do it? It's been three months since I met her, how did she get me here? All she had to do is exist.

Her skin is Olive, glowing and her scent is lavender. Back then where she only saw me and wanted to love me. And only I could have all of her.

Those days are gone.

But this way, in my intoxication atleast I can pretend she's siting on my lap, caressing my neck with her gentle fingers and kissing every inch of my face. I can even feel her weight on me if I focus enough.

I have few meaningful memories with her. All our times were spent with me in her bedroom or her in the backseat of my car. The beautiful sounds in my head are of the moments she'd moan my name, or when she'd say the food is really nice cause I fed her alot, or when she'd ask what time I was coming cause she didn't want to sleep late.

Not a single genuine date, walks in the park, trips to the country side, parties where she wouldn't have to hide, kissing in the library, meeting my family, introducing her to my friends, watching the stars, the beach, none of that. I never took her anywhere, bought her anything special other than a gift card to her favorite coffee place in campus even though I have so much fucking money. I only used it to get her food. Callum actually treated her better though he knew her for lesser time.

And all the fancy dresses I've bought her so far, she can't even wear them cause I bought them too late, she won't even see them and I know cute sundresses are her favorites. And those reservation I made to the best places in America, we can't go there anymore because I planned the trips too late. And that big surprise. I found her dad when I was busy looking for her in the wrong places, and he is with her brothers, they wanted to see her so badly and they were worried about her. I didn't know Elisabeth hadn't been in touch with them for years, she must've been so lonely with literally no family to help her. They still think she's missing but now that I've found her, what the heck do I do?

I need to get out of this car before I get suffocated.

I open the door and step out, coughing atop my lungs and bending over to catch a breath.

"James..." I hear April calling from a distance and her footsteps approaching me. I stand up straight and wave her away.

"Not now." I warn.

"What the heck is going on here? Are you setting the car on fire?!" Her facial features grimacing as she takes in my appearance. "You look terrible."

I don't address her and proceed to lock the car. "Wait for the smoke to get out." She advised but I don't listen. "So the unpleasant silence means Elisabeth chose Enos just like I told..."

"Shut that fucking mouth of yours." I warned her again and her face instantly paled.

"Hey.... Calm down." This time she seemed worried and her guard relatively high. "You're scaring me with those eyes right now."

"May be you should be scared." I walk past her. April quietly follows me to the suite. She knows when to keep her distance. It's a good thing because I have low tolerance when it comes to people who nag.

As soon as I enter the premium suite, I throw myself on the long navy sofa.

"What now?" She politely asks me, standing a few inches away.

"I give Elisabeth the address."

"The address to her dad's house in Georgia, is that right?" She inquired.

I nod my head, brushing my hair forward to shield my eyes from the lights. "And then I leave for New York."

"Woah!!! You are giving up that easily I see."

I choose to ignore that comment. I've been on the road for weeks and it's time for me to head back and accept the fact that this chapter of my life is over.

"Won't you drop me off at florida?" She questioned.

I scoff, "Who gave you that idea?"

I can imagine the smudge look on her face, "We had a deal, remember that part, James?" April tries hard to sound intimidating but that don't work when her voice is that soft.

"I'll buy you a ticket. You are old enough to leave the airport and head home." I emphasize.

"I run off and my parents are probably worried sick looking for me. Thinking some shit happened." She interjects. "You have to come back and help me with my parents. They'll be furious with me. They will most likely disown my ass for doing that to them."

"You what?!"

She didn't tell me that shit.

I look up at her and use my hand as shade from the lights. I smoked too much and my eyes hurt like hell. "I thought you lived alone in that old trailer."

She bites her lip nervously, "I forgot to mention......I might have...lied about a few things so that I can come with you. I really wanted to take a break from that town and you seemed like the safest shot at freedom even for a few days."

What the fuck was she expecting?

"Well I don't care. Figure it out yourself."

"C'mon James. I helped you find Betty."

"And so ......?!! She isn't even coming with me."

April frowns. "But I still led you to her. I won't have a place to stay James. My parents will literally kick me out if I return home without a valid excuse. Please James."

"Well I can't help you. Unless you want to remain here."

I think she froze for a second. "What?"

I lift myself to sit up straight. "Do you go to school? Or perhaps have a job?"

She thinks about it. "Neither. I dropped out. That's why I need you to come with me. My parents treat me like a freeloader and they'll kick me out if I don't explain everything clearly. They won't believe me. They've been looking for a chance to kick me out and this is there shot. I'll be homeless."

"Then stay, I will get you a job at a friend's company here in Tennessee. And then you and I will be done. Debt paid."

"No way. I'll be completely alone."

I laid back down, "I can't help you then. You either take my offer or become homeless."

I hear her sighing. "We'll talk tomorrow. I see you are being a jerk since Betty won't love you again."

This woman. "I won't be changing my mind any other day."

"Fuck you." She cursed.

I smirked. "Well...you'd probably like that, won't you?"

Her face turned crimsons as her eyes widen. I chuckle loudly. "I'm messing around April, Relax. Neither of us want that."

"I didn't pin you for the teasing type." She smiles and then decides to sit down on a chair by the empty fire place. "What about New York? I could go there instead."

"Do you know anyone from New York?"

"That would be James Andrew Scott." She smirks.

"No chance." I affirmed. "I ain't babysitting you, setting the record straight, we aren't friends."

She tries to hide her dislike at my words, "You don't have to babysit anybody. I can take care of myself, just get me a job and we're good."

I shut my eyes, I'm extremely exhausted and this conversation is starting to give me an head ache. "You know what, we'll talk tomorrow."

_________