"hey..." our eyes meet and i want to look away. i get hit with so many emotions when i'm with him, i never know how to react. "you've been gone for a while." he puts his hands in his pockets. "yeah." this was so awkward. "the principal kept bugging. he was wondering where you were." i look up. "what did you tell him?"

"nothing. i'm no snitch." he smirks. "thanks."

silence. i don't think i should be talking to him.

"so what did you do out there for a whole year?" i shake my head at his exaggeration. " i was hanging with my dad, thinking about moving in with him. the high school is pretty cool over there."

"wait what? you're moving!" he says a little too loud. i shush him. "don't be so loud. i don't know for sure yet." his happy mood left. "why would you move? is it because of what we did?" he looks offended.

"no parker. everyone hated me, i just thought it would be better off if i was away. riley seems to want to make up though so i don't know anymore." parker puts his hand on my shoulder. "i don't hate you."

bye.

"first of all, i don't care what you think and second of all why would you hate me?" i ask moving his arm. "i don't." he says. "okay but why would you?" parker squints. "i wouldn't hate you because i don't." he smirks. "but...never mind bye parker." i walk away.

❀

"please talk to me bri." my brother begs. "no." i say through my locked door. "i guess i have to bribe you now." i look up from my book. he slips sushi in a small container underneath my door.

i get up and slowly walk to my door. i reach for the sushi but it gets pulled back. "not so fast."

i get upset. looks like my pride isn't winning this one. i unlock my door to see noah standing there holding my sushi. "please forgive me. you know i hate when we fight." he holds out the sushi. i take it then i close my door.

i open the container and throw one of my rolls in my mouth. i wait for three seconds then i open the door. "how would you like it if i called you a man whore?" i say. "i don't care about what you think of me." noah says with his arms open. "shut up." i hug him.

"did natalie tell you to do this?" i see my mom downstairs on the couch staring at us. "no... yes... well not the sushi part but she told me to apologize."

wow.

"you are forgiven." i pick up another roll. yeah right, i'm going to remember this forever. "so you guys made up?" natalie leaves my brothers room. "the fuck." i almost choke. how long has she been there? "what are you doing here? why didn't you say hi?" i throw another roll in my mouth. "well i was going to but i was a little busy." nat and my brother laugh.

" i know i said i was okay with your... relationship, but that doesn't mean you can be all nasty in front of me."

they both laugh again. oh brother. i look at them up and down and i paused. "wait why are you guys looking nice?" i close the container. "we're going to the fair. you should come with us."

i totally forgot about the fair.

i look down at what i was wearing. i looked like a hot mess. "i don't think i'm ready to go out right now."

"okay well get ready, do your hair please, and meet us there." noah grabs nats hand and they go downstairs. "see you there bri." natalie says before they leave the house. i just stand there. what's wrong with my hair?

❀

i invited mason. he said he'd be there and he was.

"hey you." i wave. "hey bri." he walks over to me with his little sister and i scream inside. "hi sophia!" i squeal. "hi," she waves with her big lollipop in her hand. "macy! macy! hurry before the lines get long." sophia runs towards more rides. "i'm so sorry, catch up with you later?" mason starts to chase after his sister. "catch you later!" i yell watching him disappear into the crowd.

i look around at everyone either with their friends or their significant others. i guess i can ride by myself.

"hey pretty girl." i turn around to see him. the devil himself. parker was something else. he has this charm that never leaves. unfortunately i fell for it.

"hey." i hug him. i feel slightly better now. "what are you doing here all alone?" parker asks. "i was with mason a second ago." i put my hands in my hoodie pockets.

i try to decipher my feelings for him. i'm trying to think with my head and not my heart. parker isn't good for me but why can't i let him go?

"you're alone now. wanna talk on the ferris wheel?" he asks "sure."

after waiting in a short line, parker and i sat next to each other in one of the carts. we were alone, thank god. "what did you want to talk about?" i ask as we start moving. "i know you don't want to talk to me, i can feel it." he catches my attention and i look down at my hands.

"can you blame me? i don't think we're good for each other." i look at him. he nods and scoots closer to me.

"okay, just tell me one thing. what are your feelings for me?" he says with a serious face. what are my feelings for you? "i slept with you even though you were dating my best friend. i lost my best friend trying to be with you...what do you think?"

he's silent.

"parker, i've liked you since freshman year. i always had a thing for you i guess but we never talked. i think i like how everyone knows who you are but no one really talks to you. mostly because you don't talk to anyone in general. you keep to yourself and the few friends you hang out with."

he begins to smirk. "and now that you know me, what do you feel?"

i think before i speak. what i say could potentially get me in trouble.

"i like being around you. i like the rush of adrenaline i get whenever we're together. you bring out a different side of me that i never knew existed. i really like you and i really don't know why. i like how i feel with you. then i think about what you did to me. you played with my feelings and led me on just to date my friend. you're an asshole." i didn't even think about what i was saying really. it just came out.

he's really silent now. i just sit in the silence for a while. i don't know what to say after that.

"how do you feel about me?"

i was actually nervous to hear what he had to say. "i feel the same. i like how confident, bold and funny you are. you could walk into a room and everyone will stop and stare. you hate clichés but deep down i know you're a sucker for them," he makes me laugh. "i love your lips and how you taste. i love the way you look at me. i want you bri."

my cheeks get hot and the atmosphere changes.

we stop at the top and i look down. imagine falling from this height. i turn my head to see parker leaning in. he holds my face and stares at my lips. "why didn't i notice you freshman year?" he says before crashing his lips onto mine.

i missed him and his lips. i thought staying away from him was the right thing to do but it seems like we can't stay away from each other. as cringe as this sounds, what if we were meant to be together?

i don't know but i'm falling for him and i'm trying so hard not to.

i wasn't sure of anything except that parker and i are both seventeen with our whole lives ahead of us.

i stop kissing him and move him away. "we can't do this parker." i say. he scoots away and nods. "i know."

❀❀❀