“Introduce yourself.” The producer says.

“Yes, I'm Jan, the 40 Cent Virgin,” I say.

“40 Cent Virgin you say? That's hilarious.” He says.

“What can you do?” He asks.

“I can do many things. I can make things seem more valuable than they are, I can hide heaven, I can fact check the poor, I can offer easy outs, and easy dreams for the pure of heart.” I say.

“Hmmm. And those legs. Where do they go?” The producer asks.

“They go to hell, sir.” I say.

“Hmm. If you were a real 40 Cent Virgin, they would go to heaven, wouldn’t you agree?” He asks.

“The path is there, sir, for the pure of heart, but there are many gatekeepers.” I say.

“So it becomes a road to hell, I see.” The producer says.

“Are you a gentle virgin, you should at least be a gentle virgin.” He says.

“My skin is soft and white, but underneath is a demon.” I say.

“There are various roles we can offer, the joker, the wildcard, the blame taker, the good word speaker. There’s even the gift giver and the truth speaker. And let’s not forget the gentleman.” He says.

“Sir, I am a girl.” I say.

“Of course.” He says.