That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

Season 2 Ep 37 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and suffered through a grand feast

The ship had departed, and before long, we were guided back into a waiting room, this time without prison bars or cots. I sat on a bench made out of one of their weird 'surf boards', with some sand thrown on top to use as a cushion. The guard had seemed like they weren't sure how to treat us. I was a little irritated that they hadn't instantly hailed me as a hero for killing Ghostbeard or whatever, but I assumed they were just racist at me for being a human and/or a ghost.

My harem members were looking a little worn out, probably from fighting all the sharks. I couldn't really think of any other reason for them to look so tired and worried. There were two [Beach Elves] guarding the door, and I noticed one of them scowling over towards us. I glanced at Bonbon, who was sitting closest to me. Was he... eyeing her up? I instantly gained two stacks of the [Jealous] status effect, and debated the best way to instantly unexist this guard who was trying to put the moves on my girls. However, before I could leap into action, I suddenly remembered that a scowl was one of the angry expressions. I let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't trying to hit on them, he was just really upset with them.

Wait, huh? I turned and looked at Bonbon, leaning over to whisper into her ear.

"Jeez, Bonbon... what'd you do to make them so angry?"

She looked up at me, her jaw open with shock and/or disbelief. "Wha?! Hiro-san, I'm not the one they're angry at here!"

"You're not?" I asked, frowning. "Then..." I glanced over at Ciel, who looked guilty for a second, shaking her head.

"You, Hiro-san! They're angry at you!" Bonbon clarified, raising her voice unnecessarily.

"Huh? For what?"

"Hiro-kun, you... you killed their king..." Ciel explained, shaking her head slowly.

Huh? That guy who'd been impersonating King Chad? They were still angry about that? That'd happened like five or six chapters ago! These guys sure knew how to hold a grudge. I let out a long sigh, rolling my eyes.

"Seriously? You think they'd let that kinda thing go. I already apologized and everything."

Wanda cocked her head to the side. "Wan... you did?"

"I thought about it."

Suddenly, the doors slammed open, and a contingent of guards marched in, fanning out into a loose formation of two lines, one on either side of the door. I was kind of confused for a second, and wondering whether this was some kind of elaborate flashmob, when a tall figure strode through the doorway, wearing a sharp grey business suit with a blue, Hawaiian-print tie. He paused as he entered the room, looking over at me and scrunching up his nose like he smelled something gross. He glanced back, at the second figure entering the room.

This one was an old man with skin like a bag made of real faux-leather. He was immediately identifiable as a [Beach Shaman]: he was carrying a tall staff and wearing a hooded cowl, board shorts, and flip-flops, the iconic raiment that everybody knows and loves. The old man doddered into the room, taking his time and everybody else's as we had to sit and wait for him to hurry the hell up.

The younger man's eyes met mine, and he twisted his already hawk-like face into a supremely-pissed-off scowl. He bored a hole through me with his eyes, like he was trying to copy my [Evil Eyes: Laser Beams]. It didn't deal any HP damage, but it did successfully destroy my self-confidence. After all, this guy looked both cool and important.

While most of the other elves I'd seen were operating on a Technically-Not-Naked dress code, He was dressed to the nines. If not for his long, pointed elf ears, he could easily pass for some Corpo boss back in Neo-Shinjuku. I could tell at once that this guy was trouble. He would almost definitely be really good at yelling at me, and I already had too many emotional boo-boos recently, so I wasn't sure if I could handle an angry authority figure. I quivered in anxiety. What the heck had I done to get this cool guy upset at me, anyhow?

The man nodded to Ciel. "You. Paladin," he said, his voice just as sharp as his expression. "You can create a [Zone of Truth], can't you?"

Ciel blinked at him, but nodded, holding up two fingers. "Yeah. Twice a day."

"Alright," the suit nodded, hooking his finger down towards the ground. "Cast one here. On the entire room."

Ciel raised an eyebrow in Level 2 Suspicion, looking around the room before shrugging. "Well... I guess I can't see how it'd hurt, sure."

She drew her mace and lifted it to her face, whispering quietly. I activated [Expert Hearing] to eavesdrop on her. She was singing a little prayer under her breath:

"Kami-sama kawaii, Kamiko-chan chu chu~" she whispered solemnly. A light oozed out of her mace, and she pointed the weapon down at the floor.

"[Zone of Truth]."

A big glop of light dripped from the end of the mace and landed on the sand. Light rippled across the surface, like a brick thrown into a public swimming pool. As the light expanded, a giant glyph shimmered into being underneath it, filling the entire room.

Huh? I looked down at the glyph, tensing up in case it might suddenly explode or summon some kind of monster. Zone of Truth?

"Are you familiar with the effects of a [Zone of Truth]?" the elf asked (The one in the suit, not Bonbon or the other unimportant characters).

I rolled my eyes, scoffing quietly. "Obviously, I have no idea, but I want to pretend that I do to look impressive."

... W-wait, what the hell was that?! I'd said something completely not what I'd intended to say, and also something that was lame enough that it had to be fake! I looked over at Ciel in disbelief. Was it somehow related to her [Skill]/[Arte]? Had she betrayed me?

"Anybody inside the circle is unable to lie without a powerful [Deception]-element [Skill]," the suit-guy explained. "Which is good, because I have questions for you all."

I stared him down. "You've got a lot of nerve, forcing us to answer questions truthfully," I growled. "You'd better watch what you ask, or I might just cry in public. Don't you know that I'm extremely self-conscious and super anxious about telling a really embarrassing secret?"

"Wan!" Wanda asked. "Like what?"

Uh-oh... anything I said would probably be translated into something even worse. I'd better bite the bullet and tell her something actually embarrassing, like the fact that I'd forgotten to hit record when I was trying to film the naked pudding shenanigans back at the Paladin Order.

"One time in my first year of High School, I hired an AI to make a simulated VR date between me and a girl I had a crush on. The next day, I had a group presentation due and accidentally sent in the Sim's file instead of my assignment, so everybody in my class saw the entire thing."

Wanda laughed, while Ciel and Bonbon stared at me in silence, clearly too mortified from my second-hand cringe to speak.

"Oh man, wan..." Wanda sighed. "That's rough, Master."

I nodded grimly. I was glad that I had [Cringe Invulnerability], because my [Battle Log] was showing that I was blocking lethal levels of [Cringe] damage right now.

"AI?" Bonbon asked. "VR?"

I ignored her babbling and turned to the guy in the suit, realizing that I'd said all that in front of him. Thankfully, he didn't seem to be cringing, and was looking at me with a straight, expressionless face. This guy... was he actually a bro, pretending not to hear my embarrassing anecdote? I smiled at him, but also quickly cast [Unslave] on myself, instantly breaking the effects of the [Zone of Truth]. I couldn't risk somebody fiendishly tricking me into saying something else that would damage my otherwise sterling reputation.

The sharp-dressed elf adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. "I did have you cast that for a reason, you know." He opened one eye and gave Wanda a look like a schoolteacher who noticed a student on his phone. Wanda did not react to him or acknowledge his presence in any way, leaning comfortably back of her bench, which was more of a flex to her ab strength than anything else.

"First question:" he began. "Do you intend to kill, attack, or otherwise harm my associates or myself. Please answer out loud." He looked at Bonbon, causing her to flinch slightly from the sudden weight of his stare.

She shook her head nervously. "No, of course not."

He nodded and looked to Ciel.

"No way...unless you wind up being secretly evil or something like that."

He paused for a second before giving her a slow nod as well and moving on to Wanda.

"Wan! Not unless I had reason to suspect it would give me considerably more benefits than the risk involved, and I thought I would be able to avoid the consequences, wan."

He smirked at that, before turning to look at me. I smiled back at him.

"No," I said.

He nodded, satisfied by the answers. He turned and snapped with one hand, before making an ushering motion towards the door. The guards stared at him in confusion for a few seconds, before one of them started, jerking upright with realization.

"Oh! He's like, telling us to leave."

The besuited elf rolled his eyes as the guards slowly shuffled out the door. Eventually, only he and the [Beach Shaman] remained. He folded his arms, looking over at the Shaman before indicating me with a tilt of his head.

"Go ahead."

The old man looked up at me, his eyes hidden beneath his bushy eyebrows. He blinked(probably) a few times, and I gave him a polite bow, which he either didn't acknowledge or couldn't see through all that hair. He leaned forwards, twitching his beard.

Suddenly, I felt the taste of candy corn fill my mouth, and a prickling on the back of my neck. This sensation... I was being [Appraised]?! I debated pre-emptively attacking the old guy, but realized that he was so old he was probably practically a ghost. There was a good chance my attacks would be just as ineffective as they'd been against Ghostbeard. I didn't want to have to go up against two invulnerable enemies in one day.

"Hm? Hmm?" The old man murmured, then suddenly gasped, his eyes bulging out from beneath his eyebrows. He wobbled backwards, shaking violently.

"His... his... his... status... this power... what... what is?!"

The boss stared impatiently at the man as he rambled, his arms crossed against his chest. After a moment, he sighed.

"Well?" he demanded.

The venerable old fart staggered over to a nearby chair, lowering himself partway before collapsing the rest of the way into the seat. He stared off through one of the walls, his beard trembling.

"H-h-he... yes. Yes, he has the title. He is the [Legendary Hero]. But more than that, he... he's a monster."

I flinched. D-damn it. I guess he'd seen my [Monster] skill. That probably explained why he was so scared. I never thought that these powers might come with some kind of drawback or penalty! I guess that's what happens when you get reincarnated without properly choosing a cheat skill.

The elf suit sighed deeply, rubbing his face with both palms. He stared at me, his eyes unblinking. Something about the way he seemed to be sizing me up made me a little worried that he was about to start a monologue about Huey Louis and the News. I backed away from him, but flexed a bicep so that it looked like I was just posing and not running away.

"Alright," he said quietly, sighing again. He turned to look at the old man, then waved him away with a flick of his wrist. The old man wobbled his way to his feet, then hobbled his way out of the room, back through the door he'd come from originally. After he left, the suit nodded towards Ciel. "You can go ahead and turn that off."

Ciel clapped her hands, and the glyph disappeared from the floor. The sharp guy continued to stare at me, steepling his fingers together like a cool anime mastermind and pressing them against his chin.

"Alright," he said again, his voice tense. "I have to thank you, [Legendary Hero], for helping to repel Ghostbeard and his pirate crew."

I grinned a smile, running my hand through my hair. "It's what I do," I lied.

"You've done Sandcastle a great service. Not only have you saved us from Ghostbeard... but you've also saved us from a tyrant."

I cocked my head to the side, unsure what he meant. A tyrant? Wasn't that some kind of dinosaur? I didn't remember seeing or killing any of those.

"After all... you killed my father. [King] Kahuna. I have to thank you for that."

Huh? That... wasn't what I'd been expecting. Shouldn't he be, like, swearing revenge against me or something? I mean, I'll take it! If he's thanking me, then I must have done something right. Still... just because he was handsome didn't necessarily mean he was a good person. Maybe he was evil and was thanking me for doing something bad. That seemed unlikely, but it was usually a good idea to second-guess every single person you met.

"You're probably confused," he assumed incorrectly. "After all, [King] Kahuna was a beloved king. Everybody admired him, and Sandcastle was peaceful under his reign. Nobody went hungry, and everybody had a roof over their heads." He paused.

"Well, except for the people who decided that owning a house was..." He grimaced, sneering in disgust as he imitated the beach accent the other elves used when they spoke, holding up his fingers into air quotes. " 'Like, a total drag, man.' By all accounts, he was a legendary and beloved king."

"Okay," I nodded.

"But as I'm sure you must have known... he was no [Saint]. There was a lot more to him than a wise, peaceful king. Behind closed doors, he committed some truly horrible atrocities.

Ciel, who had spent most of our time in the prison muttering to herself and trying to figure out if she was a bad guy or not, perked up at that, eager for an explanation that would satisfy her conscience.

"He... he did? What did he do?"

The elf waved dismissively. "I'll come up with something later. What's important is that you got rid of that monster, and now the people of Sandcastle have a great king. Namely: me."

I hesitated. He was... a [King]? My [Evil Eye: Laser] was itching, but... I'd better not make the exact same mistake twice within a few hours. I used my [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] instead.

Name: [King] Noah Kahuna

Active Title: [King]

Faction: Sandcastle

Race: Beach Elf

Level: 24

EXP: 155/2500

Skill Points:15

Gacha Coins: 99

HP: 1600/1600

MP: 100/100

SP: 150/150

FP: 3/3

Attributes:

Stranth: 30

Dexterity: 50

Swoleness: 28

Magic: 60

Karma: -350

Mojo: 6750

Luck: 25

Skills:

[Swagger Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Advanced Swagger] [Hustling Supremacy - Lvl 4] [Water Super Resistance - Lvl 4] [Emotions Invulnerability] [Shame Invulnerability] [Fish Resistance - Lvl 8] [Sunlight Resistance - Lvl 9] [Stubbornness - Lvl 9] [Grinding Supremacy - Lvl 9] [Business Mastery - Lvl 8] [Lying Supremacy - Lvl 3] [Manipulation Mastery - Lvl 9] [Magic Perception] [Magic Conscription] [Magic Casting] [Water Magic - Lvl 3] [Moneymancy - Lvl 10] [Lucremancy - Lvl 10] [Market Magic - Lvl 5] [Elf Eyes] [Elf Ears] [Appraise: Profitability] [Ruler - Lvl 2] [Sociopath] [King]

Titles:

[Prince] [King] [Elf] [Surf King] [Businessman] [Grindlord (Sigma Class)] [Stonkspeaker] [Lucremancer] [Cashologist] [Sociopath] [Actuary] [Manipulator]

Spells:

[Generate Profits - Lvl 4]

[Stonk Blast - Lvl 3]

[Emit Graph: Quarterly Report - Lvl 2]

[Water Spout - Lvl 2]

Actuarial Artes:

[Detect Risk]

[Cook the Books]

Commerce Artes:

[Detect Tariffs]

[Trade Offer]

Financial Artes:

[Ultimate Financial Artes: Fistful of Dollars]

Sociopath Artes:

[Gaslight]

I let out a sigh of relief. This guy... wasn't King Chad! He was safe to not kill. And even better, it seemed like he... wasn't upset? I scratched my chin, looking at him cautiously.

"Does that mean... it's fine that we killed the king?"

"We?" Bonbon asked.

King Noah shook his head. "Not exactly. Like I said, [King] Kahuna was beloved. If we leave things like this, there'll be unrest. But you can help us."

He spread his arms.

"The [Legendary Hero] arrived to save us from our secretly-evil [King]... and with the help of the new [King], he defeated the [Dread Pirate] Ghostbeard who has been attacking us, and finally brought peace to Sandcastle."

I scratched my chin, scrutinizing him as I thought about his plan. The [Legendary Hero]... that was me, wasn't it?

"You can defeat Ghostbeard, can't you?" he asked.

I thought about it. Could I? He was practically immortal, and nothing I'd used had managed to hurt him at all. But still, I was sure that somehow, if I believed in myself hard enough, I'd be able to pull out a win with some kind of bullshit or miracle.

"Absolutely," I told him. "You can count on me."

He nodded, smiling broadly at me. "Fantastic. Superb. In that case, I invite you to spend the night in our finest suites. Tomorrow, you can enjoy the town's attractions while I deal with the PR, and we can hold a grand feast, to see you off."

I started to nod, but froze, as his words resonated off of several of my brain cells. Attractions? Enjoy? Feast? Wait a minute... we were... on the beach, weren't we? When you say beach and celebrations... only one thing comes to mind, right?"

I leapt to my feet, pumping my hands into the air.

"BEACH EPISODE!" I roared.