~~~

A four inch fir tree with a good luck, long life idiom inscribed on the trunk.

An eight inch fir tree with get rich, get happy.

A twelve inch fir tree with big is better.

A thirty inch fir tree to put outside your front door panel.

Misora picked up the last one and rotated it, examining all sides. The text scrawled on its surface was mostly occult gibberish, nothing Reiko would take seriously as a serious shrine-adjunct, but still…it would make a funny present. When you’re feeling lonely and adventurous, use this. Or an alternative note: when I’m not around, try this.

Wah, on anyone else, a huge risk, but on Reiko…

‘How much?’ she asked the stall man, who had his yukata spread beyond his nipples and was busy scratching his belly.

‘Seventy mon.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Child-sized tree brings extra fortune for its owner.’

Shaking her head in clear disgust at festival economics, Misora awkwardly slotted the fir tree replica back with the others and returned to the smaller versions.

‘Twenty mon for any three,’ the stall owner said, gazing left as a pretty, young woman in a full moon yukata stopped at the next stall over…then spitting on the ground when two ashigaru popped up beside her.

‘They’re all different sizes,’ replied Misora, picking up a twelve inch fir tree and using it to point at the others. ‘Your pricing doesn’t make sense.’

‘Buy or don’t.’

Misora glanced at the stall owner, briefly wishing Ichiko was nearby with her under-the-sleeve needle…then forgot all that completely as the words of the two ashigaru drifted over.

‘Big, trained samurai, armed, one of Shingen’s…posing as a salt merchant…went down like a bag of rabbit shit.’

‘Wah, they’ll promote anyone in Kai, won’t they?’

‘Right. Truly embarrassing. Even the skinny boy next to him put up more of a fight.’

‘I heard there was a monk too.’

‘Yeah, but he’s not saying his shrine, and he attacked another monk, so there’s no way he’ll get out of it. And even if he did have backing, wouldn’t matter. The guy stood there and watched that rogue samurai murder someone.’

‘Disgraceful…’

‘Yeah, poor guy was just enjoying the festivities and this lunatic popped up and stabbed him. If he’d looked at him funny, I could understand it, but just nothing…no provocation at all.’

The ashigaru both shook their heads and puffed their chests up a little bit more as the young woman in the moon yukata glanced over at them, then half-reached for their guards as Misora popped up at the side and said, ‘hi.’

‘What?’ barked the taller of the two, relaxing his grip.

‘I just heard what you were saying, about the samurai from Kai…and I wanted to say thank you.’

‘For what?’

‘Keeping us all safe. It’s such a relief to know that decent, strong men like you are walking around, ready to deal with that kind of crazed degenerate.’

‘You married?’ prodded the smaller one, running his eyes without any disguise down the full length of Misora’s simple white yukata.

‘Err…not exactly. I’m still looking for the right man.’

‘You live with your parents?’

Misora smiled as genuine as she could make it, giving eye signals to the moon yukata woman to get moving at the same time as running a finger down the side of her waist.

‘That a yes?’ prompted the ashigaru, reaching out his hand towards her and then rubbing it in irritation as it was swatted away by the sudden appearance of a child size fir tree.

‘Sorry, didn’t see you there,’ said Ichiko, keeping the tree upright between Misora and the two thugs.

‘Clumsy wench…’

‘She’s always like that. Ignore it.’ Misora ran her hand back up her side, stopping near her underarm. ‘Tell me, what happened to that samurai you caught? He’s not going to escape is he?’

‘Not a hope. Him and his accomplices are locked up tight at Suwa Castle. With guards that never feel sleepy…or fall for that line where a prisoner says he suddenly feels sick.’

‘That’s a relief.’

‘Yeah, but the streets can still be dangerous. If you really want to feel safe and protected, I suggest staying close to two strong samurai…like us.’

‘Ideally in a ryokan chamber, with your yukatas off,’ added the smaller ashigaru, getting a kick in the shin from his colleague.

‘We are busy tonight,’ said Ichiko sharply, adjusting her fir tree to a more offensive position.

‘Tomorrow then…’

‘Even busier.’

‘Is that so?’

‘What she means to say is,’ interrupted Misora, putting a hand on Ichiko’s fir tree and lowering it slightly, ‘we have plans to attend the shrine for the next two nights. The night after that, however…’

‘Free?’

‘We may or may not be relaxing by the shore of Lake Suwa, late into the night…with very loosely-tied yukatas.’

‘As may I,’ replied the taller ashigaru, eyes on Misora’s finger as it moved down onto her stomach.

‘Excellent. We shall meet soon then.’

‘How loose exactly will these yukatas be?’ asked the smaller one, both eyes a lot lower than Misora’s stomach.

‘He’s not known for his manners. Ignore him.’

The taller ashigaru bowed and then dragged the other ashigaru by the arm, spit-whispering something into his ear as he went.

Ichiko watched them all the way to the bridge before finally putting the fir tree back and telling Misora to stop being so alluring to enemy foot soldiers.

‘Relax, I’m not actually going to meet them.’

‘That is irrelevant. You should not even imply that you would. It is beneath our position. As is seductive gesturing with your finger.’

‘Gods, Ichiko…’

‘If I had not stepped in, the short one would’ve tried to grope you. And then you would’ve been forced to cut his hand off and our whole mission would have been in jeopardy.’

‘Yeah, jeopardy. You’re right. How about we get out of the public eye and back to Reiko’s izakaya. Then we can discuss what we’re gonna do about this dungeon situation. That I uncovered. While you were doing your angry tree impression.’

Ichiko didn’t growl, but she did glance back at the fir tree stall, half of her probably stuck on a fantasy of beating Misora to death with one of them, the other half imagining the same thing with the stall owner who was staring at her legs.

‘Come on, you can run through your revenge fantasies on the way,’ said Misora, taking Ichiko’s yukata sleeve and guiding her down the street.

Surprisingly, perhaps for public security reasons, there was no attempt to shrug her off.

No muttered insult either.

A softer Ichiko, thought Misora, smirking to herself.

~~~

‘Impossible.’

‘You haven’t heard my ideas yet.’

‘It’s Suwa Castle…the most heavily guarded compound in the province.’

‘I’m aware of that.’

‘And the dungeon…even more impossible. The guards down there are not human…I’m serious, they never feel sleepy on duty, and if a prisoner feels sick…’

‘…they ignore them, I know that too. But we can eschew all the super guard stuff with our cunning and experience.’

Reiko picked up the bottle of shōchū on the counter and poured out three lonely drops into her cup. Then swirled those drops with a distant look on her face.

‘It is necessary that we complete this mission,’ said Ichiko, tapping the tips of her fingers on the counter surface.

Reiko vaguely looked at her, then downed the three drops.

‘If you cannot assist us then we will go to the shrine directly.’

‘Can’t you just wait for them to come out?’

‘That is unlikely to happen.’

‘Why? What did they do?’

‘According to a couple of Suwa ashigaru,’ said Misora, raising a hand in front of Ichiko and cutting back in, ‘they killed a local resident. Which means they’ll probably be executed within the next few days.’

‘Then…why do you need to go in there?’

‘Obviously, we cannot risk a full interrogation. The ashigaru knows a fair bit and, based on what we know of his character…is likely to accept a deal.’

‘Betray his master?’

‘Happens more than you think.’

‘Among low-ranking ashigaru,’ added Ichiko, in a not so low voice.

Reiko picked up the shōchū bottle again and held it upside down over her cup until another drop was squeezed out. Another minute of swirling and then a giggle as she saw Kanae appear at the bottom of the ryokan stairs, hair branching off to the side like cut grass after a typhoon.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked, tying up her yukata as she walked over to the counter.

Ichiko grunted and folded her arms, leaving Misora to fill in the gaps. And tagging her first, and best, idea on at the end.

‘You want to dress up as a monk?’

‘A nurse-stroke-monk,’ Misora corrected, shaking her empty cup.

‘I suppose it is the right season,’ muttered Reiko, disappearing under the counter for a few seconds and coming back up with a full bottle of shōchū and two more cups. ‘Drink anyone?’

‘I will do it,’ said Ichiko, pushing the new cup away.

‘You?’

‘The performance requires sobriety and composure.’

‘And compassion,’ added Misora, watching the shōchū being poured out. ‘No, I will have to do it.’

‘That is not your decision to make.’

‘Nor yours.’

‘I have made my case and it is watertight. Compassion is irrelevant, there are plenty of stern monks, and, of the three of us, I am by far the most focused.’

‘Okay…’ Misora took her cup, which had only been half-filled with fresh shōchū, and handed it to Ichiko. ‘Pretend this is medicine and I’m a sick prisoner. Give it to me.’

‘I told you, compassion is irrelevant.’

‘Actually, that’s not entirely true,’ said Reiko, swirling her cup again. ‘As a shrine-affiliate, we only send those with a clear heart into this kind of environment. And a friendly face is quite important too, especially when dealing with captive ashigaru who are naturally suspicious.’

‘An ashigaru who has to drink the poison we give him,’ added Misora, pointing at the cup.

‘We’re poisoning them?’ asked Kanae, alternating her confused koi face between her two meijins.

‘Yes, unless you think the guards will be okay with opening the cell door and letting us stab them directly?’

‘I doubt it.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Fine,’ said Ichiko, confronting the three faces staring back at her, each with a cup of shōchū in hand. ‘I will mimic it.’

‘Compassion?’

‘It is not so difficult. For a short time.’

‘Go on then,’ said Misora, pushing the cup of figurative medicine forward.

Ichiko flinched, stiffened and stopped just short of a complete transformation into a human-shaped rock…then picked up the cup with two hands and offered it back to Misora.

‘Is that your version of a smile?’

‘Take the medicine, it will soothe you,’ replied Ichiko, maintaining the lizard-in-human-skin grin she had cemented to her face.

‘I’m not interested in your poison.’

‘What?’

‘Fuck off back to the shrine, weirdo.’

Ichiko’s eyes flared up, then closed quickly as she realised what she’d done. ‘This was not a fair test,’ she said, finally, opening up again.

‘Fair as a dungeon gets,’ answered Misora, taking back her cup.

‘That was pretty scary,’ said Kanae, patting the wild part of her hair back into a more regular shape. ‘Your compassion, I mean…’

‘Shut up, child.’

‘It’s settled then,’ cut in Misora quickly, tapping the table with her nails. ‘I’ll play the nurse monk, you two can wait outside for my successful return.’

‘Or the alarm indicating failure,’ replied Ichiko, folding her arms.

‘Or the grope attempt by passing ashigaru,’ muttered Reiko.

‘Or my grope attempt of them,’ said Kanae, laughing as she finished sorting out her wild-girl hair. ‘If they’re ripped…’

‘Idiot…’

‘…and soulful-looking.’

‘How about you wait in the lake?’

Misora smiled and raised her cup, clinking it with Reiko’s and shaking her head at Kanae as she just flushed it straight down.

‘To the mission,’ she toasted, downing her shot.

‘And your questionable acting skills,’ added Reiko, already reaching for the bottle, winking at Ichiko as she did so.