《What's A Koopa To Do? (My Hero Academia/Bowser Self-Insert Story)》24: Better With Karts
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I woke up too early. At like, 3 AM. I don’t know why beyond general nervousness. Which surprised me. I thought I’d be much more chill. But I woke up feeling like a chain chomp was bouncing around in my stomach. I tried to lie back and rest, but the nervous energy forced me to get up.
I did some small stretches, working myself a bit to get my body warm, then made myself a light breakfast consisting of a big protein shake and headed out to the stadium, where every class had been given a room of their own to prepare in.
“Maaaan,” Mina grumbled as she looked down at her blue gym uniform, the same one as everyone else's. “I wanted to wear my costume!”
I turned to look at her with a small smile. “I actually asked Aizawa why we weren’t allowed to wear our costumes.”
“Why?” the pink girl looked up at me pouting.
“Because the other students don’t have any,” he’d explained. “Hero students get enough advantages for this. Making sure they don’t stand out on looks alone is just fair. Besides, what are you worried about? You basically are your costume.”
Point taken.
Mina didn’t seem to see it that way, pouting even more. “Mouuuu. But this costume is so boring!”
“Ha!” I patted her on the head. “Trust me, you stand out enough just by being yourself.”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Absolutely not. You’re gonna draw a lot of eyes out there.”
“I wonder what the first event is gonna be,” Mineta dropped from somewhere to land on my shell, arms crossed with a serious look on his face. He briefly seemed to lose his train of thought when Mina bent over to tie her shoes, but got back on topic quickly. “All the videos we saw kept changing them! What if we have to do that jousting!?”
“From what I heard, this year the school is going for a traditional theme,” Momo interjected. “Most of the events will be based on those done by Japanese schools from before the age of quirks. It should be quite exciting!”
“We’ll be going in soon enough either way,” I sighed. “I just hope I get in. I really want to fight Bakugo. Or Kirishima. Or you,” I pointed at Momo. “Or Deku. Or-”
“Wait, wait, me!?” Momo squeaked, looking up at me. “Why, what did I do?”
“Nothing,” I realized then that it sounded like a grudge. “I’m mostly just thinking of the most fun people to fight. You’re awesome.”
At that, she blushed, looking pleased.
“Fun?”
Bakugo sounded… apocalyptic. I turned to look at him. He was grinning up at me. “Yeah. I think so too. Might be nice to finally blow that grin off your face.”
“Oooooh?” Mina, Momo, and Mineta looked between us as I showed the grin Bakugo had mentioned. “Hell yeah brother. I’m down to see you try.”
“Don’t call me brother you damn turtle,” he was still grinning up at me challengingly.
“Awwww, but you’re so cute. Like a little brother, looking up to his stronger sibling.”
“You know what? Keep saying that. I want to wipe those words out of your big mouth after I blow you out of your shell.”
“Blow me out of my shell? At least buy me dinner first. Besides, you don’t have the firepower Bakugo-chan. Give it your best shot though.”
His palms crackled and popped. I felt some licks of flame snap up from around my cheeks. Excitement at the fight ahead burned inside me.
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Our taunting of each other was cut off by Todoroki. He was sitting against a table nearby, watching us. When he spoke, his voice echoed oddly. Like his emotions trailed through the words, giving the soft-spoken boy a far more intimidating voice.
“If that’s the case. I’d like to lay my own challenge down. Midoriya.”
“Me?” Izuku pointed at his own face, confused. Todoroki seemed to get agitated at that. At the greenette’s confusion, as though Izuku not realizing why the ice kid would have a problem with him offended him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’m going to beat you,” he said with all the chill of his powers.
“The class strongest is making a declaration of war!?” Kaminari said.
“Hey!?” I said with a growl, the lightning boy chuckling nervously as I glared at him.
Todoroki ignored us. We all watched as he placed a hand in his pocket, his stance loose. “Objectively, even with all our training, I’m stronger than you. More capable. All Might is interested in you, right?”
I was going to step forward when Todoroki approached him. I felt a hand on my arm stop me. I looked down, expecting Mineta or Momo.
Bakugo didn’t look up at me. Just held me back while watching Todoroki and Izuku face each other down.
“...All Might was the first person to ever believe in me,” Izuku said. He stood tall, his nervousness fading. The kid was like that. Nervous for a bit. Then he got ready for a fight, and it slowly faded to a weird combination of panic and determination.
Todoroki seemed to like that look in his eyes. Izuku clenched his fists.
“I don’t know why you want to beat me. But I made a promise. So if you… if any of you want to beat me,” he looked around at us. His eyes stopped on Bakugo for a second, flicked to me, then stopped on Uraraka before returning to Todoroki. “Then I’m going to bring everything we’ve learned together against you. I’m aiming for the top.”
“...Heh,” Bakugo chuckled, bringing attention to himself. “Not likely.”
“I will. I’ll even beat you, Kaachan,” Izuku said. He winced at the glare he got, but held firm.
“Hn,” Bakugo said.
Todoroki nodded.
“God, all these roaring emotions!” Kirishima grumbled, clenching a fist. “So manly!”
My phone beeped out a notification. When I checked it, it was a text to the class president group chat.
“Well, boys and girls. It’s time,” I cracked my neck. “Let’s go out there and kick each other's asses. Or help each other kick each other's asses on the way to kicking each other's asses.”
“That is way too crude, Bowser-kun!” Ida complained.
“And too wordy,” Mineta added.
“You don’t get my A-material until we’re fighting. Get out there and show the world what you’re made of. You’ll all do great.”
Momo smiled at me. I coughed, stepping forward out of the class.
The stadium was way bigger from the field than I expected. Looking up into a crowd of people of all shapes, sizes, and body parts, including a guy with eyes shaped like radios.
We all marched onto the field in a shower of cries from the audience above us, taking in the sights.
“Ahhhhh!” Mineta shouted nervously. “There’s so many people!”
“I feel like a Roman gladiator,” I mumbled to myself. Though I got the sense this crowd wasn’t as bloodthirsty as ancient colosseum goers would have been. Hopefully, at least. We all looked around, taking in the sights of the multi-colored crowd, the confetti falling around us, and the students.
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Oh, and advertisements. How nice to know some things never change.
We all lined up in groups, meeting in front of a stage just in front of the stage that dominated the center of the arena. And on top was Midnight.
Which, goddamn. I wasn’t into the whole dominatrix thing she went for, but she was a hot lady. Anyways, that thought aside, she was also pretty dope, and looked over us as we gathered. One of the kids, I couldn’t hear which one over the loud crowd, made a crack about her being an ‘18 plus’ hero.
“SILENCE!” Midnight snapped her whip, glaring across every one of us. Once we quieted down, she continued. “Now. The representative for the first years will speak! Katsuki Bakugo of 1-A!”
“Oh right, he was first place,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, of the Heroics Entrance Exam,” some random general class kid said back to me.
Bakugo walked up to the stage. Kid looked confident and calm. He came to stop at the mic and looked out. Not at the students or the audience. More like he was looking towards something the rest of us couldn’t see. I was curious, have to admit. What would Bakugo’s speech be?
He wasn’t a dumb dude. An asshole, but a smart one. How would that translate to his speech?
“I’ve only got one thing to say… I’m going to take first place. Don’t make it easy for me.”
“...HAHAHA!” I roared with laughter. Of course! Of fucking course!
“Just be the stepping stones on my journey, got it?”
Every student was yelling and roaring at him, shouting at the unfazed brat.
Tetsutetsu chuckled somewhere nearby. “That’s just what we should have expected, eh?”
“The sheer,- justsheer just plain balls on that dickhead,” I flashed my teeth. “All right then. I’ll take that challenge!”
Bakugo ignored me. He ignored everyone. Just stepped off the stage with all the confidence of a veteran boxer.
“All right then!” Midnight didn’t wait. Just moved right into it. “With that, we can move directly into our first event! The preliminaries! Where you young boys and girls either grow up or fall apart in tears!”
“And the first round is…!” The giant screen behind her flashed, animating into a spinning roulette wheel of some kind. It rolled slower and slower before finally coming to a stop. “OBSTACLE RACE!”
Obstacle race? Ah man. I wanted something fighty. At one end of the stadium, a set of doors began to come apart in a complex way, shifting and moving to reveal a way out of the arena.
“A race between all classes on a four km course going around the stadium! And in the spirit of UA’s theme of freedom, you can do anything you want, as long as you remain within the course!”
Midnight cracked the whip-thing in her hand, grinning widely. “So! Let’s get cracking! On your marks!”
I lowered down, my legs bunching under me.
“Get set!”
I grabbed the grass beneath me, claws ripping into the earth.
“STAAAART!”
"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!"
Some of the kids around me fell away in shock when I roared, unleashing every bit of power in my lungs in a single loud cry. I charged forward. Step, step, step, getting faster and faster.
Then I hit the gate, and things got hard.
“Move!” I lifted one girl and tossed her behind me, elbowed another kid out of the way, took a punch to the face and returned it by grabbing that kid and pushing him back.
That’s when the ice came. Todoroki, flooding the whole tunnel beneath us. Most of the kids began to slip and fall.
Most of them.
“Nice try!” Momo cried out, a gleeful smile on her face as she created a pair of boots with iron spikes on the bottom, rushing forward across the ice.
I dug my claws into the ice and ran forward. Kirishima went rock-form and clawed his way forward alongside me, Tetsutetsu doing the same in his steel-form.
The entire UA Sentai class rushed forth in a variety of ways, pushing past the other students and blazing forward. Todoroki barely glanced back. But I thought I could see a smile on his face.
“Hey, I need a ride!” Mineta landed on my shell, attaching himself with his grape orbs.
“Long as you pay your fare-”
A robot sped out from the side. It rushed us.
Kirishima, Tetstutetsu, and I rushed back. Kirishima ripped one arm off, I bit into its head, and Tetsutetsu smashed through its body.
More robots came from the other side. Bakugo blew one apart. Kyoka jammed one up with her earlobes long enough for Tenya to kick it in half.
Kendo smashed her enlarged fist into another, Izuku smashing it as well. Uraraka ran past, tapping three to send them flying up, before Pony, Chikuchi, and Rin shot them apart in a hail of horns, sharpened paper shurikens, and hardened scales.
That was when the truly giant bot came forth.
And I leaped up towards it. I felt my heart pumping in my scaled chest, my muscles filling with heat. Awesome. Absolutely awesome!
I smashed into the bot's chest just as it was covered in a sheath of ice, and dug my claws in, tearing ass upwards as the thing began to fall.
“AHHHHHH!” Mineta screamed on my back as we climbed up the falling robot. “You’re crazy! You’re crazy! I don’t want to die, please-!”
We reached the top, and I leaped off the robot. Bakugo was on my left, exploding through the air. Ida zoomed through the air, Uraraka floating him from his back as he rocketed forth. I could feel more students behind me somewhere, all rushing forward in their own way.
The concrete cracked apart when I landed. Behind me, the robot fell in a shower of ice. “Hold on Mineta!”
“Oh god no-”
I sprinted forward. Mineta screamed atop me, attached by his balls. An ice wall popped in front of me. I smashed through it, and caught sight of Todoroki smirking just a bit up ahead of us. Tenya sped past me, and the race began in earnest.
I put my legs in motion. I didn’t have as much speed as Tenya or some of the others. But I could outpace a car going 30 kmh. And I could keep that up for a while.
Arms and legs pumping, I slowly reached my top speed. A robot moved in my way, swinging a large arm at me.
I stomped it into scrap and kept running.
Tomura Shigaraki
Tomura scratched at his neck idly, watching the screen as the students ran the obstacle course. He scowled and scratched harder at the more familiar faces. That green haired kid. The giant turtle. Icy kid.
Aspiring heroes. What a goddamn joke.
He’d tried to talk sensei into letting them attack the event. Even with all the new defenses, they could at least mess with it a bit. Get some people running around causing trouble.
But no. Not today apparently.
Fine. Tomura would wait. In the meantime, maybe one of the kids would screw up and kill each other. Now that would be worth watching.
He scratched just a bit harder at his neck, cracked lips stretching upwards. Until then, he could at least watch them get their butts kicked. Maybe he’d see that turtle get his shell cracked open?
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