The weight of Emyr’s gaze upon her was heavy as their clandestine meeting drew to an end.

Basil was the first to rise, moving towards the door and bidding his farewells. His eyes landed on Liliana for a moment, and she gave him a soft, tentative smile. There was still a hurt there, hidden behind a nobleman's mask, but Basil nodded at her and Liliana felt a tightness in her chest releasing.

Koth’talan went next, standing with a lazy grace. He had always had a remarkable understanding and control of his body, but he’d grown into his long limbs and tall body over the years, less prone to attempting to slink into the shadows. Unafraid now of drawing attention to himself, a side effect, Liliana thought of being her friend.

A quiet life had never been something Liliana had imagined she’d have, and her time in the Academy, the seven won tournaments, ensured there was always a spotlight on her. And on those who were within her circle.

Liliana gently shook her legs, dislodging Anya, who by all appearances had started to nap in her position sprawled across multiple laps without a care.

“Time to go back to your own bed.” Liliana tugged gently at Anya’s ear, fingers gentle but insistent against silky smooth fur.

“Dun wanna,” Anya muttered, swatting a clumsy hand at Liliana. Liliana tugged more sharply on Anya’s ear and the wolf girl groaned but rolled her body off the legs she had flopped across, melting off the bed in a puddle of limbs and sleepy glares.

“Come on Anya, I’ll help you back,” Marianne offered, climbing off the bed with far more grace and extending a hand to Anya, who took it and groaned with great drama as she stood. Liliana felt her eyebrows raise as she watched the two girls, wondering if they’d get much further than Marianne’s bedroom.

“Feel up to making a bet about where those two are going?” Corbin’s voice was silky and warm against her ear, apparently following the same train of thought as Liliana.

“I don’t make losing bets, Newfeather,” Liliana responded, jostling her shoulder and silently urging him to follow the lead of the others in the room and make his departure.

“Come, gossiping about Marianne’s newest romantic acquisitions is one of the highlights of my days,” Corbin teased, evidently unwilling to listen to subtle hints to leave.

“Anya isn’t exactly new, her and Mari have an arrangement.” Liliana rolled her eyes. They all knew of it.

As Marianne had explained it when Liliana had asked, it wasn’t anything built on romantic love, but lust. They both found each other attractive and when neither of them were tied to anyone else, they often found comfort in each other’s beds. It was odd to Liliana, who found it hard enough to even enter into anything romantic let alone something as casual as a friends with benefits situation, but as long as her friends were happy with it, she had no issues with it.

“Newfeather, I believe you and I have things to discuss,” Alistair’s voice was full of honeyed threat as his hand landed heavily on Corbin’s shoulder. Liliana winced.

They had all long evolved to using first names, Alistair relegating Corbin back to his last name meant he was angry. Liliana wasn’t even sure how he knew to be angry. They had kept the specifics of how Liliana had convinced Serenity to bond with her a secret, but somehow her brother knew.

“I’m going to die,” Corbin whispered, horrified, face so pale Liliana worried all his blood had fled his body already.

“I’ll be sure to pick good flowers for your funeral arrangements,” Liliana responded, not entirely joking. Black Seeker Lilies would be appropriate, she thought. They had a subtle shine to them that in the right lights looked almost blue, much like the blue tone to Corbin’s hair and feathers.

“Traitor,” Corbin hissed vehemently, letting out a whimper as Alistair dragged him off the bed and out of the room. The door shut behind them, leaving Liliana alone with Emyr, whose eyes had yet to leave her.

There was a whistle in the air as something sharp and fast split it, a dull pain against her ear, the warm trickle of blood and slight itch as a cut was healed.

So he was upset. That was, in hindsight, to be expected. Emyr never did take well when Liliana’s secrets came back to threaten her life. He’d nearly died multiple times trying to keep her alive, after all.

Liliana moved her head slightly and turned it, seeing a dagger embedded deeply in the wood of her headboard, still shaking from the force it was thrown with. She slowly raised a hand and wiped the wet blood off her skin, looking down at the smear on her fingers before looking up at Emyr.

“I don’t believe my furniture deserves to bear the brunt of your ire,” Liliana said softly. Emyr’s eyes, steely and flashing with a blazing anger, and under that a bone deep fear, pinned her in place more thoroughly than his dagger would have had it met its mark in her body. But Emyr didn’t miss shots like that, and despite the dagger, she felt no fear for her friend. He was angry, but he’d never really hurt her.

“Secrets, Lili,” Emyr growled, voice a low rumbling thunder that precipitated a raging storm.

Emyr stood slowly, darkness coiling over his limbs, flickers of flame appearing and disappearing as his anger loosened the chains of his control over his chosen elements. The scent of sulfur was filling the room and Liliana kept herself still, like prey frozen before a great predator hunting it.

“I-“

“No,” Emyr’s voice rose, cutting her off before she could speak, a harsh thing, like the slashing of a blade. Emyr stalked forward until he stood over her, looming.

As if he could intimidate her into staying safe. A battle they both knew was a losing one.

“You’ve kept secrets for years. From everyone, for your own reasons. I’ve always respected that. But I’ve always been the one to hold your secrets, to guard them, to know what you keep to yourself so I can at least try to protect you from the reckless, desperate, idiotic plans you devise to deal with whatever new trouble you’ve gotten yourself into.” Emyr’s hand crashed against the handle of his dagger, caging Liliana effectively in place with his body.

Liliana shut her eyes for a moment. Remembering, feeling the truth of his words. The howls of wolves, fangs closing around her, the stench of death. A falling body, a leaping tiger. Venomous fangs inches from her skin, only to find their home in Emyr’s body as he shoved her to the side.

Emyr, choosing her. Even when the choice could mean he’d lose Alistair. Going against Imogen, knowing the woman was a killer. A murderer, willing to kill anyone in her way. Telling him the story of the pendant, and Emyr’s silence for years about the secret. A secret that could’ve ruined her.

And more recently, too. A raging mad Dandelion charging at her, her leg broken under her, wrapped in vines. A yell of rage, falling fire and darkness. Ashes thick on her skin as Emyr tackled her into a hug, laughing at the realization she’d survived.

“I’ve allowed you to hold on to the other secrets you’ve kept from even me for all these years. I’ve never pushed, never pried, because I thought one day you’d trust me with them. But I can’t keep waiting, not when the secrets you’re keeping are coming back now,” Emyr leaned forward, his other hand grabbing Liliana’s chin, grip firm but gentle, even in the midst of his anger as he forced her to meet his eyes.

Pools of liquid silver met her gaze, full of fury, and deeper than that, hurt and fear. So thick and overwhelming, it stole her breath. It was clear Emyr was less concerned with the secret itself, or that she’d kept it, as he was terrified that she was in danger once again. And upset, devastated, by the fact that even after all these years, she couldn’t trust him.

Liliana’s teeth sunk into her lip, the bitter copper taste of blood flooding her tongue as her own heart ached with the knowledge that she had hurt her closest friend. Because Emyr thought she didn’t trust him.

Do you? Do you trust him? A voice asked in her mind, sounding suspiciously like Polaris. Or do you fear, even now, that once he knows everything, he will hate you? Even after the years of friendship, after everything you two have faced together. Still, you do not fully trust him.

Liliana closed her eyes, hiding from the pain and fear, from the anger, the accusation in his eyes. From the truthful thoughts in her own mind. She didn’t want to lie to Emyr. She never had wanted to lie to him, not Emyr, who had, ever since that day he followed her on her foolhardy quest to tame a tiger, kept every secret she’d given him. Had never once turned on her, had been willing to betray the boy he loved with his entire heart, even at fourteen.

But how could she tell him the last of the secrets she kept?

Liliana opened her eyes. She could tell him something. Not the whole truth, but enough at least for him to believe she trusted him still.

A lie by omission is a lie all the same. Trust built on deceit is doomed to crumble. Inner-Polaris chided her.

What can I do? Tell him everything? He won’t even believe me! Liliana thought back to the voice of her conscience that had taken upon itself to assume the voice of her bond.

Great, I’m talking to myself now. Maybe I am really insane. Liliana thought with disgust as she met Emyr’s gaze, willing herself not to flinch from what she saw there.

She was reminded of the first time she used [Empathy] on him and discovered that Emyr’s stoic mask hid a depth and strength of emotion that had taken her breath away. Most would think Emyr felt nothing, few knew he felt everything and so much of it, it was a wonder he could even think. She didn’t need to use the skill right now to know how furious his rage was, or how painful his hurt was. Or how chilling his terror was. His fear for her.

Liliana took a deep breath, mind working quickly to piece together a story that had enough of the truth in it to not feel like a complete lie. To repair what she had broken and hope to the gods that the last of her secrets would remain as they were.

Emyr’s eyes narrowed and Liliana felt a spike of fear spear through her heart, remembering too late that while she could weave lies to many others, Emyr had known her too long to be so easily misled. Too observant to miss even the smallest micro-expression of her face, and for all she knew, he had some emotional sensing ability of his own.

“You still don’t trust me,” Emyr’s voice was soft, and for a moment a look of heartbreak flashed across his face.

Liliana felt her own heart tear at the sight. A look of grim determination took over from that and Emyr ripped the dagger from the headboard. In a movement so shocking and unexpected, Liliana, even with all her Speed, was unable to stop it, Emyr dragged the blade of his dagger across his hand, opening a deep cut that wept dark blood freely.

“Emyr?” Liliana demanded, reaching for his hand as he pulled away, out of her reach.

“With my blood, the blood of the Bealstal family, I make this oath. For as long as my blood runs through my veins, I shall never raise hand nor weapon against the daughter of the Rosengarde family, Liliana Rosengarde with intent to deal her true harm. I vow my body, my mind, my blade and my magic to her aid and defense. I vow to protect her secrets, to never reveal them to any others, through word or deed. On my life I make this oath, and on my life may it be taken if I break it.” Emyr’s voice took on a deeper tone, solemn and grave as light surrounded him, like that of a bonding contract but different.

Emyr Bealstal has made an Oath of Fealty to you.

Liliana blinked dazed eyes at the notification. Unlike others she had seen, it offered no option of accepting or declining.

Because Oaths of Fealty are not reciprocal as soul bonds are. Liliana’s mind provided, drawing the information up from a class they’d had the year before, when most of them had become legal adults and therefore, in the eyes of the System, able to make such oaths. There were many oaths one could take, but fealty oaths weren’t something seen often any longer. There were oaths made for alliances, marriage oaths, and such that were far more common.

However, few were willing to take an oath that gave them nothing in return, like a fealty oath did. In fact, the time they’d spent on that oath had been full of warnings to not take one, for it would bind you to someone forever, and depending on the wording, could make you little better than a slave.

Emyr will die if he breaks his oath. Liliana thought, panic beginning to fill her on top of a fierce anger at her friend for doing something so reckless and stupid. A sharp pain on the index finger of her left hand drew her attention and Liliana looked down, shocked, to see a new tattoo forming on the skin of the finger, like a ring. It burned as if it was being drawn with lava, silver ink forming a band.

Shaking her hand as if to dismiss the pain that her [Pain Resistance] did nothing for, she looked toward Emyr, who was no longer surrounded by the light of his oath, his dagger gone as he cleaned the blood off his hand. Liliana noticed on his left hand, and on the same finger as hers, there now sat a tattoo as well, but his was far more detailed. A blue rose sat on his finger, covering the skin between his third and second knuckle. The symbol of the Rosengarde family.

“You-you reckless, foolish idiot!” Liliana rose from the bed, stomping towards Emyr as her voice rose to a near shout. She wanted to shake him until he found the sense he’d lost at some time this night, to force him to find some way to undo this oath.

“Why would you do that, Emyr? You know what happens if you break your oath!” Liliana shouted, grabbing onto his upper arms tightly. Emyr gazed down at her, his own eyes still full of anger, but his lips twisted in a smug smile.

“I know what will happen. I said the oath,” Emyr responded, voice calm. Liliana stared at him, mouth open in dumbfounded disbelief before a shriek left her and she gave into the impulse to shake him.

“Why?” Liliana demanded as Emyr reached his hands up and carefully removed her grip from him, Liliana letting him.

“Because now you know I can never tell your secrets. I swore an oath. And I can never leave you, Lili. You can’t lose me now, so just tell me.” Emyr gripped her hands tightly, his thumb brushing against the still tender skin where the silver tattoo sat. An eternal reminder of the oath. Liliana felt tears filling her eyes as her anger deserted her as quickly as it had filled her.

She’d done this. She’d pushed Emyr so far that he thought the only way to get her to fully trust him was to make a dangerous oath, to tie himself to her for the rest of their lives. No matter what happened now, Emyr would have to stand at her side. To protect her, and her secrets. Liliana could turn traitor to their country, she could become the villain she had long stopped fearing she’d become, and Emyr would have to follow her.

“You could’ve gotten out, you idiot. You could’ve been safe,” Liliana hissed as the tears broke free and ran down her cheeks. Liliana’s body felt like it weighed a hundred tons and she swayed forward, pressing her head against Emyr’s shoulder.

“No, I couldn’t, Lili. I never needed an oath to follow you, to stand by you and protect your secrets. But you did,” Emyr murmured, voice soft and gentle and Liliana choked on a sob at the truth of it.

She knew, deep down, she never would’ve been able to trust him, anyone, entirely without something like this. For all she had grown, for all she had become, sometimes she still felt so much like the scared, paranoid girl who had been so very, very alone in this world full of magic and danger.

Sometimes, no matter how much someone could grow, the lessons learned when they were young were the ones they could never escape. Tactics and habits formed in the name of survival that would forever dictate how someone moved throughout their life, even long after the danger that had necessitated their creation was long gone.

No matter who we become, we are always who we are.

“Now, tell me. No more lies, no more secrets. Let me in, Lili. Tell me the worst things you keep locked away, so I can help you, so I can protect you. If not from what you’re afraid of, then at least from yourself.” Emyr’s voice was still gentle, but this was no request. It was an order.

“I don’t need to be protected,” Liliana said obstinately, itching even now at the thought of it. She had gained the power she had now, was always trying to gain more, so she could protect herself, so she could protect all the people she’d come to love. Even the ones who made stupid oaths that tied themselves to her.

“You do,” Emyr was blunt and Liliana hissed, pulling back to glare at him. He glared right back, and Liliana sighed. The willingness to fight drained from her with her anger.

“I need to sit for this, you will too,” Liliana muttered, tugging Emyr back to the bed, where she collapsed immediately, leaning heavily into Emyr’s side as he wrapped an arm around her and drew her close.

Liliana took a deep breath, filling her lungs with his scent of sulfur and fire, something dark and sweet, like incense almost. It mixed with the scent of roses from the hair oil Liliana used that coated her rooms. Liliana closed her eyes and felt fear reignite inside of her, sending her heart fluttering in her chest, as if it wished to run away from this conversation.

He can’t leave now. Even if he knows it all. Even if he knows I stole this body, stole this life. Even when he learns, I’m not the Liliana he knew. She thought, hating the comfort she found in that. Hating that Emyr had spoken the truth.

Liliana had needed this oath to tell the truth, to fully trust him. She hated that the only way she was able to overcome the distrust that was so deeply ingrained in her it was etched into her very bones was for her friend to stake his life on an oath that would force him to keep her secrets close. Liliana activated [Telepathy], knowing this conversation would be far easier if she could communicate with memories as well as words. Her world would seem as much a fantasy to Emyr as this one had been to her, once upon a time.

“A very long time ago in another world, there was a girl who was very sick,” Liliana started, filling Emyr’s mind with memories of Earth as the words tumbled from her lips, as if they’d been waiting this entire time, eager to be spoken.