That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

Banquet 2.40 - That time I was reincarnated into another world and suffered through a feast

We arrived back at the castle. It looked way different than it had earlier in the day! For one thing, it was a lot darker because it was night, but they had also set up all kinds of decorations. Strings of seashells were decorating the walls, and giant torches lit up either side of the path. They'd pulled out a bunch of shag carpets to line the halls, and had hung up surfboards as decoration as well. Music was echoing from somewhere within the castle: drums, guitar, and a mancala, or whatever that tropical-sounding xylophone ripoff was called.

It definitely sounded like a heck of a party! The corpo-looking [King] led us into the castle, passing through a bunch of hallways and walking by a lot of [Beach Elves] milling about and drinking booze out of coconut shells. Eventually, we made it to what was probably the Grand Hall, considering it was a big room with a big table in it. There were even more elves in here, although only a few of them were sitting at the table, while larger groups were gathered around casual indoor bonfires they'd set improvised out of old furniture.

The [King] stared at them, his face dead and expressionless. A nervous-looking elf in swim trunks and a poofy chef hat came walking over, clutching a serving tray protectively in front of him. I chuckled, pointing at him and turning to Bonbon. My own nervous elf chef gave me an unimpressed frown, her lips drawing into a thin line.

"Why do I feel like you're thinking something rude, Hiro-san?"

Heh. I rubbed the back of my head in embarrassment. However, the next words out of the elf chef's mouth instantly brought my happiness down at least 5 or 6 roentgens.

"K-King Noah... your grays."

"Your grace," the [King] corrected him. The chef went pale, shaking his head fervently.

"N-no, I don't deserve that, king dude! That's hella rad of you to call me, but I'm the one who should be-"

"What is it?" Noah snapped. The elf cringed away as if he'd been struck by somebody's intimidating aura.

"Uh, well, s-sir... the food is, um... there's like, problems, man."

The [King] rubbed his temples, sweat starting to bead on his forehead as a tendon in his neck started twitching. Bonbon looked from the chef to me and rolled up her sleeves.

"A problem in the kitchens?" she asked. "Mind if I take a look?"

The chef looked her and gasped, as if he recognized her from somewhere.

"Ah! You're that chick who was passing out soup during the fight!" he exclaimed. "Yeah, we definitely need your help!"

He waved for her to follow him, and headed for a bead curtain made of shells that lead into another room. Bonbon followed the chef and I fell into step behind her, to make sure that she didn't overshadow me.

As soon as I stepped foot in the kitchen, a wave of stink slammed into me. I staggered, clutching my nose. T-that was the same smell from the beach house! What the hell were they cooking in here?! I looked around the kitchen. There were a few small tables for food prep, but I didn't see any stoves, fridges, or ovens. That made sense because, y'know, shitty low-tech Isekai dirtworlders, but I ALSO didn't see any cooking fires, earthen ovens, or deep fryers. In fact, I didn't even see any pots! All that they had besides the tables was a large bonfire in the center, and... holes in the ground?

There were a few holes in the ground, with elf cooks in aprons and bathing suits gathered around them. The chef led us over to one, and we approached slowly. A pair of cooks reached into the fire with long wooden tongs, pulling out a glowing-hot stone. They carefully brought it over as a team and dropped it into one of the holes.

"We tried to take some tips from how she made her soup, but... it's still nowhere near as good as hers!"

I stared into the pit. It appeared to be full of something that resembled soup on a superficial level. There was thick scum on the top, and it looked... murky, in a disturbing way. Bits of unidentifiable meat and vegetables bobbed to the surface every now and then. Worst of all... I couldn't see a pot. Was this just.. a hole dug in the sand? I turned and looked at Bonbon in horror.

"Bonbon... did you..."

"No!" she insisted. "I cooked soup normally! This is... it's, well, you know. They're [Beach Elves]. This is the sort of thing I was talking about."

She muttered the last part quietly, and the cooks were either too busy to hear her, or were bearing her casual racism with grace and poise.

"Please!" the chef begged, clasping his hands together. "Nobody is satisfied with Earth Soup anymore, after they tried that stew you made! You have to help us! How can we make this better?"

Bonbon sighed, brushing a loose strand of hair from her forehead. It popped back into place, and she gestured down at the pits.

"Well... if you want me to teach you how to cook properly, there's quite a few things I could teach you. Um, first of all, don't make soup in the dirt. But, we'd have to start over. I don't think there's anything I could do to salvage that... abomination."

My ear cocked as she said a two-dollar word. Abomination? Why did that sound familiar? I quickly checked my status.

Name: Hiro ♥ Protagonist

Active Title: [Legendary Hero]

Level: 11

EXP: 4800/5500

Skill Points: 73042

Gold Stars: 53

Gacha Coins: 1,000,000,049

HP: 69425/69425

MP: 1337/1337

SP: 9999/9999

FP: 1/1

Attributes:

Stranth: 110000

Dexterity: 110000

Swoleness: 110000

Magic: 110000

Karma: 185

Mojo: 99999

Luck: -99999

Skills:

[Jumping Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Hopmeister] [Running Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Windrunner] [Climbing Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Cliffwalker] [Crawling Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Crawldad] [Swimming Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Motorboat Legs] [Cooking Supremacy - Lvl 10] [Sudden Grace] [Godly Chef] [Divine Heavenly Chef] [Punching Invulnerability] [Slashing Invulnerability] [Projectiles Invulnerability] [Stabbing Invulnerability] [Crushing Invulnerability] [Toe-stubbing Invulnerability] [Burning Invulnerability] [Lightning Invulnerability] [Fish Invulnerability] [Shadow Invulnerability] [Surprise Invulnerability] [Light Invulnerability] [Heavy Invulnerability] [Greater Invulnerability] [Wind Invulnerability] [Water Invulnerability] [Earth Invulnerability] [Sleep Invulnerability] [Pain Invulnerability] [Silence Invulnerability] [Curse Invulnerability] [Emotional Damage Invulnerability] [Seduction Invulnerability] [Wisdom Invulnerability] [Shame Invulnerability] [Heat Invulnerability] [Cold Invulnerability] [Itching Invulnerability] [Discomfort Invulnerability] [Alcohol Invulnerability] [Drug Invulnerability] [Spicy Invulnerability] [Cringe Invulnerability] [Absolute Invulnerability] [Fluff Resistance - Lvl 3] [Mist Resistance - Lvl 2] [Stress Resistance - Lvl 1] [Ruler Resistance - Lvl 4] [Second Wind] [Plot Armor] [Indomitable Will] [Eye Contact Resistance - Lvl 5] [Sunlight Resistance - Lvl 1] [Thirst Resistance - Lvl 1] [Voodoo Resistance - Lvl 1] [Odor Resistance - Lvl 1] [Greater Maneuverability] [Swooce Supremacy] [3D Maneuvering] [4D Maneuvering] [Noclip] [Greater Fisticuffs] [Fisticuffs Supremacy] [Kill Anything In A Single Punch] [Elemental Punches] [Flaming Energy Ball] [Dark Attack Basics] [Stunning Blow] [Poisoning Blow] [Silencing Blow] [Surprising Blow] [Fisherman's Fist] [Cursing Blow] [Stunning Slash] [Poisoning Slash] [Silencing Slash] [Surprising Slash] [Fisherman's Blade] [Cursing Slash] [Heroic Slash] [Sexpert] [Ultra Fabio] [Expert Swordsman] [Dual-Wielding] [Triple-Wielding] [Sword Saint] [Energy Blade] [Expert Spearsman] [Spear Extension (All natural supplement)] [Triple Thrust] [Expert Hammersman] [Ultra Crush] [Whirlwind Smash] [Expert Archer] [Multishot] [Homing Shot] [Penetrating Shot] [Ricochet Shot] [Curving Shot] [Splitting Shot] [Returning Shot] [Explosive Shot] [Dual-Wielding (Bows)] [Instant Reload] [Tennis Master] [Ultra Serve] [Devil Serve] [Hell Rally] [Dakimakura Supremacy] [Dakimakura Expert] [Knife Supremacy] [Bar Fighting Supremacy] [Brawler] [Drunken Master] [Expert Staffsman] [Spinny Boi] [Crushing Staff] [Helicopter Staff] [Acrobatic Flipwaltz] [Fishing Supremacy] [King Angler] [Snap Cast] [Casting Supremacy] [Casting King] [Handsome - Lvl 10] [Perfect Hair] [Furrow Browsics - Lvl 2] [Chest Puff Basics] [Imbue Weapon] [Enhance Weapon] [Create Weapon] [Repair Weapon] [Sell Weapon] [Clapping Mastery - Lvl 2] [Photographer Mastery - Lvl 2] [Montage Mastery - Lvl 4] [Woodworking Basics - Lvl 3] [Carpentry Basics - Lvl 1] [Drafting Mastery - Lvl 2] [Kinetic Remodeling] [Bureaucracy Supremacy - Lvl 2] [Conga Line Basics - Level 1] [Subletting Basics - Lvl 1] [Beachcomber Basics - Lvl 1] [Trick or Treat Room] [Time Slow] [Time Stop] [Win Almost Everything But Not Everything] [Win Everything Else] [Speak With Animals] [Speak with Plants] [Speak with Monsters] [Speak with Idiots] [Speak with Walls] [Greater Speaking] [Detective Basics - Lvl 3] [Peer Pressure Mastery - Lvl 1] [Substitute Teacher Basics - Lvl 1] [Spider-Killing Basics - Lvl 1] [Appraisal (but secretly infinite knowledge)] [Greater Vore] [Shield Supremacy] [Shield Saint] [Dual Wielding (Shields)] [Dual Welding] [Arch Welding] [Godly Welding] [Instantly Learn Skill] [Regeneration] [Super Regeneration] [Ultra Regeneration] [Max Regeneration] [Ultra Max Regeneration] [Clown Resistance] [Smoke Ring Basics - Lvl 2] [Steal] [Burgle] [Purloin] [Stealth] [Greater Stealth] [Sneak King] [Invisibility] [Demon Lord - Lvl 10] [Hero - Lvl 10] [Sidekick - Lvl 10] [Evil Vizier - Lvl 10] [Greater Stranth] [All Natty] [Greater Dexterity] [Skanda] [Greater Swoleness] [Bloatlord] [Greater Magic Casting] [Greater Magic Perception] [Greater Magic Intuition] [Greater Magic Licensing] [Greater Magic Conscription] [Parliamentary Recess] [Height of Occultism] [Greater Flame Magic] [Heat Miser] [Greater Wind Magic] [Tornadist] [Greater Ice Magic] [Snow Miser] [Greater Earth Magic] [Rockhaver] [Greater Light Magic] [Dayman] [Greater Dark Magic] [Nightman] [Greater Surprise Magic] [Magic Magician] [Greater Dimensional Magic] [Space Folder] [Greater Death Magic] [Overlord] [Lesser Flavor Magic] [Jellymancy] [Psionics] [Greater ESPer] [Mind Bullets] [Mind Rockets] [Telekinetic] [Telepathetic] [Nerve Rack] [Teleportation (Minor)] [Instant Transmission] [Greater Mojo] [Funklord] [Cultist Basics - Lvl 2] [Bargain Hunter] [Dealsmith] [Hagglemeister] [Greater HP Regeneration] [Automatic Resurrection] [Lesser MP Regeneration] [Greater SP Regeneration] [Greater FP Regeneration] [Dragon Power] [Dragon Breath] [Dragon Wings] [Greater Fursona: Dragon] [Ninja] [Divine Blessing] [Multitask Basics - Lvl 1] [Parallel Wills - Lvl 1] [Mental Dictionary] [Mental Rolodex] [Mental Thesaurus] [Mental Encyclopedia] [Mental Almanac] [Mental Coloring Book] [Mental Powerpoint] [Mental Sundial] [Brain Cell Phone] [Inter-dimensional Cell Phone] [Demon Eye] [Evil Eye: Curse] [Evil Eye: Killing] [Evil Eye: Poison] [Evil Eye: Venom] [Evil Eye: Itching] [Evil Eye: Surprise] [Evil Eye: Silence] [Evil Eye: Cringe] [Evil Eye: Laser Beams] [Binocular Vision] [Telescopic Vision] [X-Ray Vision] [Heat Vision] [Clairvoyance] [Periscope Vision] [Supervision] [Expert Hearing] [Double-Ear] [Long-Range Hearing] [Expert Smelling] [Sniff Supremacy] [Expert Taste] [6 Foot Tongue] [Skeleton Detection] [Elf Detection] [Chef Detection] [Prison Detection] [Manifest Wings] [Manifest Horns] [Manifest Extra Arms] [Shapeshifter] [Trainer] [Personal Trainer] [Slave Owner] [Slave Friend] [Monster Tamer] [Monster Friend] [Monster King] [EXP Share] [Monster] [Drop Collection Basics] [Instant Change (Outfit)] [Greater Color Coordination] [Background Music Basics] [Paranoid - Lvl 2] [Wrath] [Pride] [Lust] [Greed] [Envy] [Gluttony] [Sloth] [Chastity] [Temperance] [Charity] [Diligence] [Kindness] [Patience] [Humility] [Defy Gods] [Defy Parking Ticket] [Flying] [Greed is Good] [Greater Monologue] [Monologue Supremacy] [Instant Monologue]

Titles:

[Emperor] [Ollie King] [Jump King] [Climb King] [Running King] [Crawling King] [Mystery Chef] [Angler King] [Ultra Mage] [Seven Deadly Sins Master] [Seven Heavenly Virtues Master] [Super Mage] [Great Warrior] [Demon Lord] [Hero] [Champion of the Sun] [Karate Master] [Evil Vizier] [Good Vizier] [Sword Saint] [Spear Saint] [Shield Saint] [Hammer Saint] [Bow Saint] [Fashion Police] [Monster Trainer] [Monster] [Tennis Master] [Furry] [Dragon Slayer] [Dragon] [Coward] [Bully] [Cad] [Thief] [Staff Saint] [Expert Driver] [Ace Pilot] [Horseman] [Heretic] [Anti-Pope] [Pope] [Double Jesus] [Photographer] [ESPer King] [Inventor] [Gourmand] [Entrepreneur] [Ultrapreneur] [Enchanter] [Drunkard] [Small Business Owner] [Cell Phonetrix] [Sk8r Boy] [Ultra Sk8r Boy] [World Savior] [God's Favorite] [Skeleton Killer] [Slaver] [Slave Tycoon] [Emancipator] [Great Emancipator] [Human Killer] [Artes Master] [Bronze Rank Adventurer] [Slime Slayer] [Underdog] [Cult Crusher] [Legendary Hero]

Perks:

[Pocket Party]

Sword Artes:

[Double Slash] [Triple Slash] [One Thousand Slashes of Light] [One Thousand Slashes of Darkness] [Clothes-Cutting Slash] [Clothes-Cutting Slash (PG-13)] [Space Trimmer] [That one move where you cut something and then sheathe your sword and it doesn't look like you cut it but you really did and you like turn around and then it falls in half] [Anti-Slime Sword] [Adaptive Strike]

Culinary Artes:

[Summon Egg] [Precision Serving] [Acquire Taste] [Smell-o-vision] [Convert Food: Delicious] [Salvage Abomination]

Steak Artes:

[Double Grilling]

Cell Phone Artes:

[Minesweeper] [Internet Browser] [Calculator] [Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2] [Sahara Prime] [Monster Catching] [Camera] [Dating App] [Future Diary] [Cell Phone Sword] [Status HUD] [FoodHut] [Infinite Wallet] [UPC Scanner] [Pocket Storage] [Affinity Chart] [Headphone Jack] [Infinite Battery] [Solitaire] [Snake]

Slave Artes:

[Boost Attributes (Physical)] [Skill Synergy: Dragon Forme] [Skill Synergy: Pro Skater Forme] [DLC Costume Shop] [Gladiator Spirit]

Board Artes:

[Kickflip Slash] [Eternal Grind] [Biggie Head Mode] [Double Ollie] [Summon Board] [Grind on Air] [Triple Ollie] [Deflecting Deck] [Ultimate Board Arte: Kickflip]

Musical Artes:

[Play Any Instrument] [Ballad of Bravery] [Sonata of Stranth] [Ditty of Dexterity] [Serenade of Swoleness] [Karmic Klezmer] [Melody of Magic] [Musical Mojo] [Lullaby of Luck]

Magic Artes:

[Spell Conversion: Casting Time] [Spell Conversion: Duration] [Spell Conversion: Effect] [Spell Conversion: Distance] [Spell Conversion: Delay] [Spell Conversion: Mana Cost] [Spell Conversion: Target] [Flaming Spell] [Frostbitten Spell] [Radiant Spell] [Gloomy Spell] [Electric Spell] [Rocky Spell] [Wet Spell] [Draconic Might: Spell] [Funny Spell] [Piscine Spell] [Toxic Spell] [Spell Blade] [Double Cast] [Triple Cast] [Endless Font of Magic] [Spell Improvement] [Blood for Mana] [Research Spell] [Ultimate Magic Arte: Quadruple Cast]

Arte Artes:

[Use Two Artes at Once] [Meta Arte: Fire] [Meta Arte: Ice] [Meta Arte: Light] [Meta Arte: Darkness] [Meta Arte: Earth] [Meta Arte: Lightning] [Meta Arte: Air] [Meta Arte: Water] [Meta Arte: Surprise] [Meta Arte: Clown] [Meta Arte: Fish] [Arte Learning] [Artes Catalogue (Recursive)] [Recursive Arte] [Repeat Arte] [Copy Arte] [AI Generated Artes] [Ultimate Arte Arte: Unlimited Arte Works]

Jellymancy Artes:

[Jelly Splash]

Spells:

[Blaze Ollie - Lvl 10] [Thunder Grind - Lvl 10] [Thunder Wave - Lvl 1] [Frost Tycoon - Lvl 10] [Malamphosicet's Greater Illusion of 1000 Blades: Sword Art: Spell Sword: Magic Slash: "The Dusk Calls Me At Last, Onwards (Requiem) - Lvl 10] [Wind - Lvl 10] [Warp Reality] [Dimension Box] [Greatest Healing - Lvl 10] [Resurrection - Lvl 10] [Lightning Spear - Lvl 10] [Dark Blast - Lvl 10] [Dark Lash - Lvl 1] [Self-Destruct - Lvl 10] [Earthquake - Lvl 10] [Explosion - Lvl 10] [Dispel Curse] [Add Curse] [Unslave] [Charm Person] [Mind Lash] [Spirit Bomb] [Deus Ex Machina] [Meteor Storm] [Biscuit Hammer] [Cloudkill] [Summon Dakimakura] [Light] [Make Cube] [Create Shadow Clone No Bunshin] [Force Cage] [Create Food] [Bestow Flavor: Spicy] [Bestow Flavor: Umami] [Cloud of Cinnamon] [Create Scrumptious Reagent] [Mimic]

DLC Perks:

[Vending Machine] [Gacha Emperor] [Cosmetic Pack 1] [Cosmetic Pack 2] [Battle Pass (Fall 2069)] [Alternate Costume: Clown] [Alternate Costume: Heavenly King] [Alternate Costume: Sexy Maid] [Doggirl Companion] [Companion Costume: Sexy Cowgirl] [Companion Costume: Sexy Maid] [Companion Costume: Sexy Shinobi] [Companion Costume: Sexy Nun] [Companion Costume: Sexy Actuary] [Companion Costume: Sexy Hazmat Suit] [EXP Boost] [Warp Reality]

Ah! I thought it sounded familiar! One of my [Culinary Artes] had that word in it as well! I still didn't really know what an abomination was, or what salvaging one meant, but that wasn't important now! What was important was that Bonbon said she couldn't do it! And I had [Salvage Abomination], which would probably do what she couldn't do, instantly!

I grinned a smile to myself, pointing down at the soup-imposter.

"[Salvage Abomination]," I said, activating the Arte. A beam of soup-colored light shot from my finger, blasting into the pit. Instantly, the water began to bubble and churn, spinning into a whirlpool before letting out a sickening belch and shooting a stream of sand towards me. I quickly dodgerolled out of the way, skidding on the sand floor of the kitchen and rising to one knee. I readied my hand into a finger gun to shoot a [Mind Rocket], but gasped as soon as I drew a bead on the soup.

It looked... okay! The stock had cleared, and was now an almost-healthy thin brown color, with bits of meat and vegetables floating in it Even the ingredients looked a bit healthy. More sand was slowly drifting into the water from the sides of the pit, but it resembled something edible! One of the cooks gasped in shock and scooped up some of the soup into a bowl. The others watched with bated breath as he took a sip, loudly chewing the stock.

He let out a gasp. "T-this is... not terrible!" he declared.

The cooks near him turned to stare at me, mouths open in obvious awe.

"P-please!" One shouted, shoving past Bonbon to fall on her knees in front of me. "Please teach us!"

"W-wha?!" Bonbon asked, bewildered. Her cheeks were flushed, like she was either embarrassed, frustrated, or both. "H-he just used an [Arte]!" she declared. "That's... that's not something he can teach you! It's no use if you don't have that specific [Arte]."

"There's no need to be jealous, Bonbon-chan..." I sighed. "I'd be happy to teach them. I'm the best cook here, after all."

"T-the best?!" Bonbon exclaimed, hands gripping at the edge of her apron. Th-that's..."

Huh? I looked over at her. She was twitching at about 150% her usual speed and frequency. Was she... upset for some reason? I wasn't sure why she would be. Wasn't it obvious that I was the greatest? I mean, Bonbon was cute and good enough at cooking, but I was the [Legendary Hero], with a whole world's worth of culinary tradition to steal from. Did she... really think there was a comparison?

"Are you upset?" I asked honestly. "I mean, you're following me because I'm so much better at cooking, right? Isn't that like, your entire character or whatever?"

Bonbon opened and closed her mouth, staring at me. I smiled internally, relieved at the fire burning in her eyes. She'd stopped twitching and stuttering and was instead staring at me really intensely. She must have calmed down, and I'd probably reminded her of how cool I was, as well. I was glad that she was probably falling even deeper in love with me, but-

"I'm following you because you know a lot of recipes, Hiro-san!" she snapped. "NOT because of your cooking skill."

I jerked back as her words backhanded me in the face. H-huh?! She... was she actually mad at me?

"W-wait a second," I said. "How could I be bad at cooking? I have so many [Skills] related to it!"

"Exactly!" Bonbon replied. "You rely on your [Skills] and your [Artes] and your [Spells] too much! If you do that, nobody is going to be able to replicate your recipes! They'll never spread beyond you, and the culinary sciences will never progress! You can make delicious food using recipes that anybody could follow, regardless of what [Skills] they might have. That technique is what it truly means to cook! True ability, not simply magic borrowed from Kamiko!"

"Yggdrisia..." Ciel said quietly. Bonbon turned towards her, her fury softening a bit to mild irritation.

"What?"

"Yggdrisia made the [World System]," Ciel explained. "Kamiko is the Scion, but she didn't, uh, y'know, make it."

Bonbon stared at her for a few seconds, not saying anything.

I crossed my arms and cleared my throat to get her attention again. "Can't you, like... hadoken out a full pizza with a single [Arte]?" I asked. "Plus, you use [Create Food] all the time! Why are you lecturing me about when I do it?"

She hesitated, opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish that'd just lost an argument. "I..."

I shook my head. "Still... putting that aside...If there's any lesson that I've heard about in the past, it's that you have to recognize the power levels of other people. I underestimated an enemy once, and it almost lead to my defeat."

I clenched my fist as I thought back to that fateful day. [King Slime]...

"I've never underestimated an enemy ever, since then. It's important to learn to recognize real talent."

I smiled gently at my elf haremite.

"Bonbon-chan... you... you have..."

I sighed, rubbing the back of my head. I usually just charged ahead, so this was kind of hard to say. Still, if my relationship with Bonbon was to deepen, it was something that I HAD to say. Bonbon was waiting for me finish my thought, still angry, but looking hopeful. I just had to swallow my nervousness and say it!

"You... have to learn the same thing too. It's okay to admit that I'm a better cook.

"Hiro-san, you're a J-JERK!" she shouted, tears in her eyes.

H-huh?! D-damn it! That hadn't gone how I'd thought at all! I hadn't expected that she'd misunderstand me so badly! When you directly told somebody that they were inferior, and their way of doing things was worse than your own, wasn't that supposed to make them recognize that you were right instantly? She was supposed to see how cool and wise I was, not think I was a jerk! I couldn't believe that a life lesson learned through anime had backfired on me so hard!

I started trying to rack my brain on how to cheer her up. What did elves and/or women like? Leaves? That wouldn't work, we were at the beach! What else did women like? Wait a second, of course!

I reached over to give Bonbon headpats, but she reached up and grabbed my wrist instead. I blushed immediately. She was almost holding my hand!

"Why not just have a competition?" Ciel suggested, shrugging.

I blinked. A... competition? That sounded fun! A competition was a good opportunity for me to win something! I looked to Bonbon to see if she agreed, but she was too busy studying my face. I decided to strike my Blue Steel look to impress her. She blushed slightly and looked away.

"Fine. But it's not going to be a cooking competition." She retorted.

I started unsheathing my katana.

"It's going to be a teaching competition!" she clarified. "We'll each teach a recipe to half of the kitchen. They'll be the ones cooking."

I re-sheathed my katana. That sounded kinda weird, but if that'd make her feel more comfortable about losing, it was fine by me. If she wanted a competition, I'd give it to her alright!

"Wan! I'm on Hiro's team!" Wanda shouted, walking over to me.

"W-what?" Bonbon asked, her determination slipping on a banana peel. "This isn't..."

"Well, I'll help Bon-chan!" Ciel replied, walking over to Bonbon's side of the kitchen. I quickly used my [Evil Eye: Laser Beams] to draw a line in the sand of the kitchen's floor, marking off the boundaries of the soon-to-be battlefield.

"Fine by me," I said, a flash of light blasting from my grin and piercing a hole through a nearby wall.

"Let's get this battle underway!"