I slap a sack on the guy and call it a day. With the power of persuasion, we managed to not die, and even convinced him that the fallout of his actions would be better in our custody. Which was not true in the slightest, but we never outright said such a fallacious falsehood.

Well, at least I didn’t lie. Can’t say the same about the others, but I speak the truth and only the truth. Which is why I follow the serenity of silence!

Talking? That’s too political for a little footman like me.

Now, back in my suspicious, red-flag garb, I find so much more snug and agreeable in these loose clothing articles rather than the previous… getup.

That leaves the issue of leaving to settle, however, despite my previous thoughts, noone comes to check out this rather suspicious gathering. Like the place is actually empty. You’d think the place would be sprawling with guards and that’d be our main stumbling blocks, but no, all the other opposition encountered were other intruders like ourselves.

And the princess was just sitting pretty in her room all willy nilly…

I’d smell a conspiracy… If I could still smell.

That being said, despite the smooth entry, I didn’t believe we’d be able to leave easily.

“You’re right, Jeff. There’s something happening here.”

Well yes, something is happening here. We just killed some Temple Friars and are in the process of abducting a man. I’d be concerned if you had the ass to say that nothing’s happening here.

“Okay Jeff, but seriously, I suspect that there’s something behind this.”

I’m pretty sure that’s us. The big bad cultists behind the curtain. You’re definitely thinking of us.

“That can’t be right. When do baddies like us ever kidnap the princess so smoothly?” He raises a flag, “And then stuff the Hero in a sack to boot? Everything’s going too smoothly.”

Would it kill you to accept that we’re simply good at doing this stuff?

Yeah, that shuts the fella up, and now we can continue to our previous endeavours. Escaping!

“Haha, you thought!”

And the plans go down the drain, because when does anything ever go smoothly. Stepping into the limelight, a man of steel and strength reveals himself. The shine of his metal body parts is especially striking when contrasted with his still fleshy components.

“We took a lot of effort to afford zis day,” Another one steps forth, his feet leaving firm indentations in the ground, speaking in the exact same voice, carrying the exact same appearance, “We will not let you ruin our beautiful plan.”

It’s not especially noticeable but that accent… It’s not from around here.

“Really Jeff? That's all you gathered from them? Not even the fact that their legitimately made of steel?”

Okay, I admit, that is a noticeable trait, but its not exactly evidence that they aren’t from around here.

“Gasp!” Ori exhales sharply, “I can’t curse them!”

“Hehehe, curses? Makebelieve does not exist in this domain.”

I catch their dialogue and I quickly find that I also can’t do any more of the black magic that I used to be able to do. How strange.

“No need to get feisty,” The first one says, “We have no conflict. Just hand over the two potatosacks and we’ll leave,” He raises an outstretched hand. One that looks more mechanical than meat.

These guys are truly puzzling, not to mention that for every second we dally, more of them seem to pop out of the woodwork, these new arrivals marred with slight amounts of viscous red. However, despite this, judging from their characteristics, I think I have a hunch on who these folk may be…

There was a rumour. A very popular one about a foreign nation across the mountain ranges to the east of the Kingdom, and they were the Empire of Steel. A place with people as strong as steel. They had little in the way of land and resources, but it was said that each citizen could fight off three bears before going down.

That being said, considering how these guys might’ve just killed everyone in the palace, I’d wager we’re not to going to be making it out of this. I look over to our de facto leader, the little princess, and it seems that she’s already three steps ahead of my current thought.

“Can you specify what you mean?” She confronts the lead steelman.

“The two potatosacks,” He points over to me and Laffer. Unsure of the sudden attention, I couldn’t help but point at the sack in my hands, “Yes, those two in your hands.”

Okay, looks like we weren’t the only ones with an agenda today. I gotta give it to Laffer though. You predicted or willed a ‘behind the curtain big bad villain’ just for today’s show.

Impressive.

But leaving aside my inner musings, every else seems to be thinking of the bigger problem at hand. And by everyone else, I mean, just Kana.

“You want just these two? And you’ll leave?”

“Yes, no harm.”

“What are you going to do with them?”

“You do not need to know.”

After what seemed to be a long moment of inner conflict within the young lass, she gives me the signal.

“Hand it over.”

So unfortunately, the sack is no longer in my hands, and like apparitions the steel men disappear. Which is rather strange, but I don’t know anymore. Everything has stopped making sense since a long time ago, so I just try not to think too hard.

Just keep my mind to myself. The world’s already so chaotic and I won’t be in it for long, so what’s the use in thinking? Lampooning to myself is much more fun.

…

“We got it compatriots,” Rye announced holding up high the spoils of his infiltration to his three other compatriots.

“You got two of them!?”

“Yes, it was no easy feat, but as they say, one man is enough to stand against five others.”

A very popular saying that one was. The worst part was that it wasn’t exactly untrue. One man, or rather one man from the Empire of Steel was enough to stand against five others from another state. And no, it wasn’t because of their strength, no, it was something much more comical.

“You used the projections?”

“Yes, I had already cleaned and then laid out the area beforehand.”

That being said, even without the tech, one of these guys would still win a five on one fight…

“These sacks… We must bring it back. I can tell that this isn’t of the variety we often see in the Capital around here,” One of Rye’s companions, Sherbet, spoke up.

“Indeed.”

“Though…” Sherbet looked quizzically, “It seems that there is something in the sacks…”

“Ah,” Rye had made an oversight, “I should have told z’em to leave it out, but… They were a bit scary, so I stop.”

With sympathetic gazes from his compatriots, he empties out the sack only to find something that made him step back in horror. His eyes widened as his optics unnecessarily zoomed in. Oh the horror! He wanted to turn away, but he simply couldn't extricate his vision from the ghastly sight in front of him.

Meat people! He was face to face with a meat person! Before, he was speaking to them through a projection and at a respectable social distance of fourteen meters, but now… It was very different. Like how watching a demon summoning from afar was so much worse when that demon summoning was right in your face. And now, he just let the meat monsters out of the sack.

“WREEEEE!”

Everything was not okay.