《Reborn on a Systemless Earth... With a System》Special: Balloon Land - B

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Delta and Eryk defeat the balloon beast in about thirty-five seconds. It was huge, but, honestly, it was just a balloon. It’s not exactly an end-boss type deal.

What was The Goddess thinking with this world?

Poor Matt got crushed to death, though. With the U.S. in control of The Goddess’s domain, it doesn’t seem he will be reincarnated anytime soon. One day, though, maybe he will get another do-over chance, as all beings deserve.

Delta used to be an ardent atheist. Saying shit like that really makes her gag reflex go off, even if it’s the actual literal truth about how this multiverse cluster operates.

Well, at least she didn’t have to go through some overly drawn-out battle with this beast, in the way that she and everyone else were almost certainly going to encounter when the time came to retake Mystix.

“What an exciting battle!” Eryk exclaims. “I only wish it could have been longer.”

“No, it was the perfect length,” Delta says. “And I hope we never have to do battle again.”

“You’re not interested in implementing your training in the real world?”

“Does this really count as the real world?”

Eryk nods. “This is a very real world. An important part of the fabric of the cosmos, just like Earth.”

“Uh-huh. So then why’s there almost nobody here?”

To that, Eryk has no response, stupid or surprisingly informational. “I’m stumped by that question myself.”

Aside from that town of plushies they encountered a while back, there’s practically nothing around them that suggests any intelligent society. So much for a tutorial world to help struggling souls lift themselves back up into more dangerous lives.

They continue to wander the balloon forests until they come across an entire balloon city.

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A few plushies wandering about, oblivious to their surroundings. But other than that, nothing. A ghost town.

“You’re sure the U.S. didn’t come around?” Delta asks.

“I see no evidence of their incursion. Do you?”

“Nothing. The lack of... anything... might be evidence though, sort of. Right?” Delta shrugs.

“You may be onto something. But it fails to hold logic. If the U.S. came, then where are all the soldiers?”

Before they can ponder anything further—

POP!

The balloon city collapses before their very eyes. The few plushies wandering around scatter like frightened rodents. The latex sputters to the ground with a loud fart-like burst of air. Gross.

When the city has mostly disappeared, left behind are, ironically, a team of upright rodents.

Brandishing spears and hissing as if to attack right this moment.

Delta’s brain kicks into overdrive. What the hell, what the hell, what the—

“YES!!!!!” Eryk screams.

Delta’s head snaps over to him on instinct. “What’s happening? What is this?”

She gets a closer look at these rodents. They are quite big. Seem pretty intelligent. They have Eryk and Delta surrounded. And are very pissed off.

But, wait, they’re...

“BEEEEEAAAVVEEEERS!” Eryk fist-pumps. “Finally, we’ve come across some legendary beaver warriors! Our day is saved!”

Delta’s eyes pop wide in disbelief. “The WHAT.”

But Eryk is in no mood to explain. He simply runs up to one of them, picks them up like a cute dog, and hugs it to no end. Their sharp spears and fierce demeanors are simply no match for a man who loves his beavers.

Delta decides not to think about the innuendo involved and lets the absurdity of it all wash over her.

This is Balloon Land, after all. Why wouldn’t there be an army of beavers?

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