《Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today》523. Scared Straight
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Hui watched over the disciples until the sun began to descend in the sky. The lead instructor signaled that it was time to return home for night, and the disciples rose and began filing off. The other instructor marched directly for him, but before he could reach Hui, Hui hurried off, using his true fifth-realm cultivation to speed off. The instructor chased him at a speedwalk, and Hui sped off at a speedwalk, but between the two, the distance only opened between Hui and the other instructor.
My apologies, Elder Brother, but… I can’t waste time with you right now! Whatever you have to say, save it for the real Lao Gongren! Right now, I need to focus on getting my children to take cultivation seriously! That, and teach them to run in the face of danger!
The instructor stopped at the edge of the field and paused to pant, bracing himself against his legs. He pushed himself up and wiped his face, staring after the still-retreating form. When did Lao Gongren get so fast? No wonder no one’s been able to find him lately! With that speed, he could run circles around us all day! But still, I wonder what he’s been up to…?
At last, Hui paused. He looked back, checking that the other instructor had passed out of his view. Seeing no one, he circled around, changing his face once again, this time to something sinister, with sharp black brows and high cheekbones. His robes changed to black and red, with a distinctly demonic flare to it, and he tinged his skin with grey.
Ah… now would be a great time to use my ghoulskin. I left it in my inheritance maze… I’ll have to stop by and pick it up the next time I have a chance. For now, I can’t have long left on the surface. Elder Sister Reaper is going to call me back any moment now. But before she can, let’s see if I can’t instill the fear of those stronger than them into their fearless little hearts. I’d rather have them fear me than think they’re invincible just because their moms are a little powerful, and harass someone they can’t intimidate with their mothers’ names! They’re still just Qi Gathering disciples, after all. The experts that can overpower them are more numerous than the stars!
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To think, my own children would dare to be so bold! Ah, it’s too bad that I wasn’t there to raise them correctly, fearing this horrifying world to the proper extent! But that’s fine. I’ll make up for it now. I’ll kindly teach you children the ways of the world!
Hui flew quietly back toward the training zone, looking around for his children. At last, he spotted them. They crouched in a small stand of bamboo, counting out tiny fragments of spirit stones.
Disguising his aura, Hui flew over, remaining too far for them to see him in the twilight, but just close enough for him to see and hear clearly.
Li Weiqi sat back, sighing dramatically. “At this rate, we’ll never have enough!”
“Don’t lose heart! We only need one spirit stone total,” Bai Xingxue retorted.
“But look at this! These are all scraps! Even with all our hard work, we’re still… at best, at half a spirit stone. We’ll never be able to afford Sis Mei’s candied haws at this rate!” Li Weiqi complained, grimacing.
Eh? Ah! My children have inherited fine taste! Sis Mei is indeed the finest cook in the lands, Hui thought, nodding with approval.
Bai Xingxue tilted his head, looking at the bits of spirit stone. “Maybe… maybe we could trade these in for half a stick?”
“Half a stick! That’s three haws. How are we supposed to split that?” Li Weiqi said.
Ducking his head, Bai Xingxue glanced at Li Weiqi from the corner of his eyes. “I can give her my puppy-dog eyes, and she’ll probably give us four.”
Li Weiqi slapped his hand on the ground. The spirit stone fragments toppled over, spilling everywhere. “Four haws? I’m supposed to be okay with two? Never! I need more!”
Crying out, Bai Xingxue leaped forward and stacked the spirit stones together again. “That’s our precious money, Li Weiqi!”
That’s right. Protect the money! Money is important to avoiding debt! Hui thought, nodding yet again. Truly, these are my children!
“Precious,” Li Weiqi huffed.
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“We’re halfway there. Let’s keep going,” Bai Xingxue suggested.
“But I want haws now! Not in another few weeks,” Li Weiqi said.
“Why don’t we ask Sis Mei if we can have the stick now, and pay her the other half later?” Bai Xingxue suggested.
These greedy brats… Disregarding money to that extent! Daring to suggest they buy on credit? Who is their father, who taught them such bad habits? I clearly have to step in now, before they make a horrible mistake!
Before Li Weiqi could agree to Bai Xingxue’s suggestion, Hui dropped out of the sky. The two of them jumped backward, screaming in fear.
Hui harrumphed. “Buying on credit? Courting death like that, you must be ready to die!”
Li Weiqi jumped up. With shaking legs and a trembling finger, he pointed at Hui. “You—who are you? I’ll have you know, my mother—”
“I don’t care who your mother is!” Hui shouted, waving his hand. A fierce wind blew past Li Weiqi, almost lifting him off his feet.
Bai Xingxue yelped. He backed away, eyes wide. “Li Weiqi!”
“We’re not afraid of you!” Li Weiqi shouted. His hand dipped into his pouch, flashing out. A single Go token hurtled toward Hui.
The token bounced off his chest. Hui looked down at it, then back up at Li Weiqi. He laughed. “You think such a thing can harm me?”
Li Weiqi cowered. Behind him, Bai Xingxue glanced over his shoulder, ready to flee.
Internally, Hui grinned. Excellent! Flee! That’s what you should do!
“Wake up. We’ve already kept Zhu Diyu waiting too long!”
Hui’s face paled. He struggled, even as the reaper shook his physical body. No! Not now!
“I’m not waiting this time. Wake up!”
Before Bai Xingxue and Li Weiqi’s eyes, the intimidating man suddenly wobbled, then toppled forward, falling directly on his face. The two exchanged a glance.
“Is he dead?” Bai Xingxue asked.
“Am I that powerful?” Li Weiqi asked, staring at his hands with marvel.
Abruptly, the man shriveled up. He deteriorated from an ordinary man to a dry husk, his skin hanging loose off his body.
Bai Xingxue shouted. Li Weiqi stared in open horror. Bai Xingxue grabbed Li Weiqi’s sleeve, and the two of them ran off together, leaving the man’s body and the scraps of spirit stones behind.
--
Hui jolted awake, back in the Underworld. He jumped up, nearly knocking heads with the reaper. She jumped back deftly, avoiding his leap. “No!”
“What?” the reaper asked.
“I—I was—” Hui licked his lips. “Having a bad dream.”
“Ghosts can’t dream,” the reaper informed him.
“Er, right. That’s right. I guess… I got lost in my meditation?” Hui tried instead. Dammit! I’d almost taught my children the most valuable lesson of all, the lesson of properly timed cowardice! Properly timed being all the time, of course!
The reaper frowned at him. “What kind of meditation…?”
Hui sighed. “Elder Sister always comes at precisely the right time.”
“Is that sarcasm?” the reaper asked, narrowing her eyes.
“No, no! I would never,” Hui said, shaking his head and waving his hands.
The reaper stared at him for another moment, then turned away with a cold harrumph. “Zhu Diyu is waiting. Follow me.”
“Yes,” Hui said, hurrying to follow. Er, what was this about again? Something about that Si Wang…?
Oh, and the resentment demons.
Right, the resentment demons. The resentment demons that are totally not my fault, and most definitely the work of Si Wang, Hui thought, nodding to himself.
He sighed. Argh. I need time. More time to straighten out my troublesome children! More time to handle the Underworld’s troubles! More time in the day!
Eh. Is this how salarymen feel…?
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