《A Suspicious Lack of Horses》Soul: 38 - Shameful mentality
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Victoria made sure the Hidden Blade set to replace Semloh had the system and was earning points. She was sick of paying for these plans out of her own earnings. Not that she could have reasonably made anyone else pay before this, but still, it was getting annoying. It seemed like every other week she'd need to spend a large amount of points to fix some bullshit that was either about to either ruin her life or had tried to ruin her life. This freaking world. Victoria sighed, shaking her head. And here she was about to do it again, because she needed to take a look and see what the fuck she'd done to Foratuna's head. "At least she has points I can use now." Victoria grumbled.
Victoria didn't even bother knocking as she barged into Foratuna's room to get this over with, having seen in using her point vision. Foratuna was alone, just standing in the middle of the room for some reason. Victoria immediately regretted this as she froze at the sight of Foratuna… appreciating herself in the mirror. Victoria let out a small cough, drawing Foratuna's attention as she quickly moved inside and closed the door.
Foratuna jumped with a small yelp, grabbing a blanket to cover herself and flushing furiously. "V-Victoria! I- I was just-" She began to explain, before Victoria cut her off.
"Save it, I don't care. What you do with you is your business." Victoria replied, shaking her head as Foratuna's flush deepened and she let out a small, shame-filled groan. "I'm just here to take a look at your mind, maybe make some adjustments, okay?"
Foratuna hesitated before nodding stiffly. "I- o-okay, but… can- can I put on some clothes first?"
"Go for it." Victoria shrugged, leaning against a nearby wall.
Foratuna paused as Victoria was still looking at her. Well, not at her, but she was still looking around the room, not seeming to care that she was naked. "Could- could you turn around?" She asked nervously.
Victoria frowned. "I guess, but I'm literally going to be in your head in a moment. Seeing you naked is probably the least invasive thing I'm going to be doing tonight." She commented as she turned around.
Foratuna hesitated again as she wondered just what Victoria meant by that, before shaking herself and quickly pulling on a shift to cover herself. "O-okay, I'm- I'm ready." She announced.
Victoria turned back, nodding. "Good, just lay down on the bed, head at the edge here." She ordered, grabbing a chair and sitting, patting the place where she wanted Foratuna's head. She supposed theoretically, she didn't even need to be in the same room to do this, she just had to send some points over, but it just felt wrong to mess with someone's head without even being in the same room as them.
Foratuna quickly did as Victoria asked, lying down and staring up as Victoria grabbed her head, doing… something. Foratuna couldn't feel anything, despite what Victoria had said about being in her head. Was it something to do with the system? Probably. Foratuna let out a small sigh as her thoughts drifted. The system. There was a part of her that hated it, that hated what it had done to her. What Victoria had done to her. However… that part was getting smaller and smaller. The more she looked at who she'd been before, the more she hated him, and the more she appreciated the system for giving her a chance to change. The more she appreciated Victoria for giving her a chance to change.
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She glanced up at Victoria's slightly frowning face, hesitantly biting her lip. Gods she was beautiful. She at least agreed with her old self on that. If she could be with her- she froze as Victoria's expression twisted into a grimace, her eyes opening as she glared down at her. "Please don't think about me while I'm doing this. It's very distracting." Foratuna's eyes widened. How did- she- she was actually in her head?!? Reading her thoughts?!? "Yes, now shush!" Victoria snapped, before closing her eyes again and getting back to work.
Foratuna quickly tried to clear her mind, to think of something- anything else! Victoria was in her head! She knew what she was thinking about! She knew how horrible her thoughts were! Foratuna hesitated, her expression falling. Not that Victoria could have any worse of an opinion of her. She knew what she was like before. As much as she tried to change, had changed, that person… That person was still her. A version of her that didn't care, that didn't see how awful their actions were, but still… there was a part of her that missed what she'd done. She knew it was horrible, that she'd hurt people in ways that could never be forgiven, but… her expression twisted. She'd still enjoyed it! Holding that much power over another person, being able to make them do anything, being able to do anything to them… Listening as someone begged you to stop, and refusing… Foratuna shuddered in a mix of shame and longing, wanting it and hating herself for wanting it.
"Fucking- go back to thinking about me, damn!" Victoria cursed, shaking her head. Foratuna was one fucked up bitch. No wonder her mind was so messed up. She was constantly fighting herself! One side wanting to do horrible things and the other never wanting to hurt anyone again, both stuck in a constant tug of war. A tug of war her good side consistently won, but still, the darkness was always there, waiting. Victoria studied Foratuna's mind a bit more as she noticed something. The good, or more accurately, the shameful part of Victoria's mind was… over defending itself. It didn't just beat back her more disturbing urges, it lashed out at everything. Every part of her was subjected to the shame, until she hated even her good qualities.
*Okay, that needs to change…* Victoria thought to herself, trying to ignore Foratuna as her thoughts refocused on her. She'd managed to stabilize her thoughts by focusing on picking out the attractive parts of Victoria's face, which was awkward but better than the thoughts about what she'd done as Duke Duhallis. Victoria shook her head, focusing on the shame. It couldn't be so general. It needed to be focused. She had absolutely no idea how to do something like that with the system, so she had to rely on direct point manipulation, which… she just hoped she didn't end up breaking something. As carefully as she could, Victoria began to nudge the shame away from the areas she liked and towards the areas she didn't. Mostly she focused on grouping the shame around any area that found pleasure in hurting or controlling anyone else. She was tempted to put some shame on the area that seemed to be way too attracted to her, to the level that Victoria thought it might be more of an obsession than attraction, but ultimately that was a personal matter that wasn't really hurting anyone, so she couldn't justify it. She did leave a baseline level of shame over pretty much everything though, taking a quick look around a few random soldiers' minds to get the ratios right. Foratuna couldn't be completely shameless outside of her issues. The end result was a positive mountain of shame, crushing down on Foratuna's bad side, while the rest was probably normal? Eh, close enough. And since she'd just moved things around, she'd barely used any points!
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Victoria opened her eyes, looking down at Foratuna. "So, how do you feel?"
"Your eyes are beautiful." Foratuna sighed, before her eyes widened and she flushed. "I-I mean, I feel… fine?" She hesitated, considering herself for a moment. She still felt guilty about what she'd done, hating who she'd let herself become, but… there was also a sense of… accomplishment? Pride? Satisfaction? She wasn't that person anymore and that- that was a good thing. She felt like she could be happy about who she was, instead of hating herself for who she used to be. Slowly tears began to fill her eyes, falling down her cheeks as she covered her mouth with her hands. A weight had been lifted! She was no longer being crushed under the sins of her past. "Victoria, I- thank you!" She choked out, scrambling to turn around and hug her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She cried as she latched onto Victoria, squeezing her tight.
Victoria shifted awkwardly, glad she didn't have a dick at the moment. Barely clad women you knew were attracted to you rubbing themselves against you were a recipe for disaster. Particularly when they weren't too shabby themselves… if not for Beatrice- Victoria quickly cut off that line of thinking. Even if she wasn't with Beatrice, with the amount she'd fucked with Foratuna's mind and body, being with her would just be wrong. Foratuna wasn't an equal, couldn't be an equal… she was Victoria's victim. No matter how much she justified what she'd done, the plain, honest truth was that she'd tortured Foratuna, turning her into what she wanted her to be. That wasn't something you could build a relationship off of. It was too bad Victoria's hands didn't quite get the memo as they unconsciously gripped Foratuna's butt.
Foratuna pulled back in shock, looking down at Victoria, her eyes widening as far as they would go. Victoria stared back, her eyes wide as well. Why the fuck had she done that?!? Victoria cursed herself. Maybe she was just too used to Beatrice? And Jessica… was she just conditioned that when a woman sits in her lap, she grabbed her butt? Shit, was she still doing it?!? She was. Stop! Victoria's hands finally quit squeezing Foratuna's ass, just in time for Foratuna to lean in and press her lips against Victoria's, tongue immediately darting into her mouth.
"Mmph!" Victoria protested, jumping up and tossing Foratuna back onto the bed. "No! Shit- fucking- no!" She groaned.
"I- I'm sorry, I just…" Foratuna apologized, her expression falling. "I-I thought… since- since you knew how I felt about you…"
Victoria frowned at her, before letting out a sigh. "Fuck… that- I didn't mean to do that. It's just… instinct, I guess. Us… there are so many things wrong with an us. The things I've done to you… no, it can't happen. Plus, I already have a girl-" Victoria froze immediately. Shit!
Foratuna's eyes widened. "You- you have a girl?" She asked in disbelief.
Victoria let out a frustrated sigh. "Yeah. I like women. Part of the reason I was so against… well, you know." She shook her head. "Just, please don't tell anyone? I mean, we all have bigger things to worry about I suppose, but… well, it isn't something I want passed around."
"I- I understand." Foratuna nodded, before hesitating. "But… I just- I don't- I don't mind what you've done to me." She stammered out, flushing in embarrassment. "You- you've made me a better person… All I can do is thank you."
"Yeah, see, that just sounds like Stockholm syndrome to me." Victoria muttered, shaking her head. "Listen, just- let's just forget any of that happened alright? It doesn't matter, we're not doing anything about it, and it's not going to affect anything. I fixed your brain, you were grateful, and that's it, okay?"
"O-okay." Foratuna nodded back, feeling a dull ache in her chest. Being rejected was one thing. Being told your heartfelt feelings were meaningless? That was another. "I- I should get to sleep…" She muttered. "Thank you, for- for everything."
Victoria hesitated, before letting out another frustrated sigh, knowing she'd hurt Foratuna, again. Damn it, she didn't want to deal with this shit! "Fucking- Fuck! You know we can't be together, right? So why are you sad?!?" She paused. "Wait, no, being sad because you can't be with someone does make sense…"
"Victoria, I'll be fine." Foratuna sighed. "You don't- you don't need to fix me anymore. I can deal with this myself. Please, just- just go."
Victoria frowned at her, before letting out another sigh and shaking her head. "You know what? You're right. I can't micromanage your life." She turned to go, before pausing at the door. "Still… if you ever do need someone to talk to… I'm probably not the best person for it, but I am available. Just… think about it." She then left, heading back to her room.
Foratuna curled up in her bed, feeling numb, feeling like an idiot. Of course Victoria would reject her! Even if she found her attractive, so what? Victoria was the one who had made her attractive! She could make anyone attractive! If she wanted Victoria to be interested in her, she had to show she was worth it! Be someone who was worth it! A task suddenly appeared.
[Convince Victoria you're worth being with - 30 pts.]
Foratuna nodded with a determined look in her eye. She would! And then… Foratuna's thoughts trailed off. Victoria had said she already had someone, but… it wasn't that uncommon for powerful Cultivators to have multiple partners, right?
Victoria let out a groan as she noticed Foratuna's new task. Why did this keep happening?!? Why were people so interested in her!?! She paused. She guessed it made sense for Foratuna… she'd been obsessed with her before, and just because her body had changed, didn't mean she wasn't still that person. The only real difference at the moment was shame and that just meant she wouldn't try to force Victoria to like her. Victoria sighed, shaking her head. It was annoying, but what could she do about it? Well, she could mess with her mind again and get rid of whatever was causing it, but… she'd fucked with her mind enough as is. Going down the path of adjusting whatever she found bothersome about people seemed like it'd end in a place she'd regret, surrounded by a bunch of robots with no real connection, just… following whatever programming she'd shoved into their minds. Yeah, no, that wasn't a path she was willing to follow.
Victoria frowned for a moment as she considered something. How much mind fuckery was she willing to tolerate? Say what you will, Foratuna was definitely better than Duke Duhallis. She was glad she'd helped her become a better person, though she did regret she didn't see the possibility of it earlier. Not that Foratuna seemed to have minded her time with Ursa, but still. So what was good about it, and what was bad? Obedience was definitely bad. It didn't discriminate, forcing the person to do anything anyone wanted them to, no matter what they actually wanted. So that was off the table.
Shame, on the other hand, seemed beneficial, at least when applied correctly. Forcing someone to look at what they've done wrong and see how awful it really is… at least in Foratuna, it facilitated growth. Victoria could see how it might mess up someone who didn't deserve it, like Beatrice feeling shame for just existing, but for people who didn't seem to care how their actions affected anyone else? Yeah, they could use some shame.
As for Horniness… Victoria didn't know how to feel about Horniness. There was nothing inherently wrong with wanting to fuck, but if it got to the point where you needed to fu- Victoria froze. That was it! She needed to keep things to a point where they were influences, not compulsions! Making someone a little bit hornier so they'd be more inclined to say yes? Not so bad. Making someone so horny they'd sleep with anyone? Not so good. Like the difference between hiring models to make people more interested in buying a car and getting someone drunk and forcing them to sign a contract.
Victoria nodded slowly. Yeah, she could see that working. Of course, even then she wanted to avoid messing with people's minds as much as possible. Foratuna was better, but there's a reason she called her Foratuna, not Duke Duhallis. They weren't the same person anymore. She'd essentially killed the Duke and replaced him with Foratuna. Victoria paused. That was the line she'd have to draw. If she would kill someone, she could fuck with their brain. If not, then she wouldn't. Either way, the original dies. She might as well give someone else a chance to live in the process.
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