Chapter 2

After the whole ordeal at the tavern, the group composed of a Druid, a bipedal Bunny and a rambling Paladin. They all wave goodbye to the waitress while engaging in a heated debate over religion, to which the Druid only says that the Paladin should just shut up. Pouring oil on the fire and pissing off the still drunk Marcus.

A few steps out of the tavern, they see a carriage passing through the street in front of them. The Druid breaks the conversation by pointing at the carriage.

"Is it just me? Or are the furniture trying to climb out of the carriage?" He asks.

At this question, both Drazdan and Marcus turn to observe the carriage. And yes, they both see a stool, a table and a barrel of booze on a stand slowly climb out of the moving carriage.

Drazdan is speechless at the sight.

Marcus is trying to determine what kind of heresy allows for perfectly normal furniture to move around.

And the Druid is still just pointing at the carriage in silence.

"Did I get drugged too?" Drazdan asks out loud.

The Druid looks him over and then looks back at the moving table, "I don't think so."

The Paladin exclaims, "Those things are EVIL! We must slay them!"

And then he proceeds to charge in, his greatsword already drawn.

"Should we… Follow him?" Asks Drazdan, hands-on his sabers.

"I think so…" Responds to the Druid.

"Aight." Is the last thing the Druid hears before Drazdan disappears and proceeds to slash at the table with both his sabers, ripping a leg off.

Marcus attempts to hit the stool with an overhead slash and misses, getting his greatword stuck in the ground and receiving a tackle from the stool.

The Druid runs in and swings his staff at the table, missing himself. Then Xandarr gets body-slammed from behind by a barrel full of wine, knocking him onto the table, followed by that same table retaliating and throwing him off and toward Drazdan, who manages to dodge the flying Druid.

Drazdan then targets for the table once again, this time aiming at the adjacent leg. But he misses with both of his sabers, one hitting the dirt and the other getting stuck in the table's side, and Drazdan is unable to yank it out.

The Druid now back up on his feet slaps the table with a hand covered in lighting leaving a nice burnt hand on the surface and electrocuting the Harengon who is still holding on to his saber that is currently lodged into the table. Which is, of course, accompanied by a pain filled scream from the man.

"What the fuck are you doing, you fucking idiot!!" He yells at the druid.

"My job." He responds, receiving a piercing glare from Drazdan.

Then they hear a loud crack from their left. Marcus had finally managed to break the wooden stool.

This moment of distraction lands both of them a slam from the table and barrel. Causing Drazdan to bite his lip and Xandarr receiving a few new bruises.

Spitting blood on the ground, Drazdan picks up his dropped saber and charges once again at the table, finally cutting it in half. Then Marcus charges in next to him, stabbing the barrel, which in turn makes the wine inside seep out.

“Yo! There’s wine in it!” he exclaims.

“Sigh… Such a shame.” says the Druid.

He then cast Cure wounds on Marcus. The Barrel attempts to body slam the Paladin, but is instead blocked and blown open by the Thunderous Smite of Marcus.

The now wine-soaked group of… Well, low lives, according to their reputation, see a short man rush over yelling about compensation.

“What are you all doing?! My furniture! They cost me a small fortune and you guys smashed them for no reason!!! Pay me back my 25 Gold, you thieves!”

“They were evil! I could detect them with the Holy Power of Hoar! You!” he points at the merchant, who is taken aback by the sudden change, “You heretic! Where did you get such repulsing and unholy objects from?! Tell me before I cut off your head!” Marcus bellows.

“Me? A heretic? You must be out of your mind! Hell! You smell like a damn brewery, you damned drunkard!” the merchant responds

Seeing as how this interaction won’t be going anywhere, Drazdan intervenes.

“Well, for one, those were not ordinary pieces of furniture. And second, where did you buy a bunch of mimics?” asks Drazdan now both sabers sheathed and his right hand on the axe covered in the residual blood of the tavern keep.

The Merchant was about to retort and resist this interrogation, but then decided not to when he noticed the axe, and a deep and reasonable fear struck him to his core.

“I didn’t know they were mimics, sir!” he quickly exclaims.

“I just bought them a few cities over… I cannot remember where exactly, however.” he then claims.

The Druid walks up to the merchant, hand covered in lighting, “Would a bit of shock therapy jog your memory, old man? Where did you buy the FUCKING furniture?” he asks clearly frustrated.

The merchant now sweating bullets and slightly smelling like piss, “I assure you sirs, I have no recollection where I got them. Please spare my life!”

“Tsk, let’s go, he knows nothing. ” Drazdan says.

On that note, they leave the old merchant, who is now collapsed in fear in a pool of his own piss, and head to the mayor’s manor.

After a few minutes of walk, they arrive at the manor and approach the gate, only to be stopped by 2 guards.

The guard starts talking to Drazdan, “Hey buddy, you lost my friend? Too much to drink this morning? Look.” He points toward where the group came from, “The tavern is over that way, alright? That’s where you’ll find more booze, my friends. Go on now, shoo, shoo.” He continues.

“Uhm, Sir. I’m not sure what that was about, but I’m here to see the mayor, actually. Heard he’s got jobs for people like us.” Drazdan responds.

“As I said, my friend. The tavern is that way, I sincerely doubt that you’re actually looking for a job when you smell this bad in the morning. So be on your way now before I throw all of you in the dungeon to sober up.” the guard retorts.

“HEY! We are here to get a mission and make money. You should be honored to even have ME in your little town to take on your jobs. I am Marcus Mace, a proud Paladin of Hoar, my Oath of Vengeance shall slay my enemies and the Heretics alike!” Marcus suddenly exclaims.

The 2nd guard now speaks up, “Jesus, mate. Ya stink more than my father-in-law on a Friday. Go back to the tavern or better yet take a bath and sober up. This is hardly a presentable state for a man of the cloth.”

“Sheesh… I’m not paid enough for this…” the first guard whispers. “Sir Marcus, I need you to leave now. Your breath alone could light a fire, let alone the rest of you. Sober up today, and we can allow you to talk to the mayor tomorrow, yes? Perfect! See you tomorrow.” he says louder now and waving the group away.

The druid just says, “Fuck this.” and turns into a Grizzly and then proceeds to attempt to sit on the guard, who just takes a few steps back.

“Uhm… Can you guys get your bear friend under control?” the confused guard asks.

A short angry growl comes out of the bears’ snout.

Drazdan brings up his right hand and facepalms before giving up and talking to the guard.

“To tell you the absolute truth, sir, I DO NOT know either of these 2 men. I’m just here for a job and to be on my way.” Drazdan says.

“I don’t know the druid either, officers, I am also here just for a job.” Says Marcus.

The grizzly looks up at the 2 of them and lets out a betrayed and disappointed low growl.

“Okayyy… Well, let’s say I believe y'all. I’ll still need all of you to come back tomorrow. The Mayor is a busy man, with the disappearances and criminals, the upcoming festival and taxes… He really doesn’t have the time to deal with... Uhm, shall we say, entertainers of your caliber today.” he responds.

An outraged roar was let out by the maw of the Druid-turned bear, covering the guards in spit. Followed by the sound of hurried steps from inside the manor and the front door being ripped open with an alarming amount of force.

An approximately 6-foot tall man, with a thick walrus-like stash covering his lips and furrowed eyebrows, burst out the door with a less than amused look on his face.

His deep and commanding voice rings out loudly throughout the street.

“What’s going on out here?” his voice demanding an answer.

The guards now slightly shaking rapidly turn over to the man, and before they can let out their answers, Marcus announces that He, a mighty paladin, is here for a job and the incompetent guards won’t let him through.

To this, the guards receive a glare from the Mayor, before he shifts his gaze at the group surrounding the paladin.

“So you came here for a job, eh? Why should I trust 2 men and a BEAR to achieve tasks my own HANDPICKED men couldn’t solve? Hmm?” he asks.

“Well, sir, I’d first like to say that we are not a group. And that the bear is actually a druid whose name currently eludes us. Also don’t mind my impertinence, but these HANDPICKED men of yours.” Drazdan points at the 2 guards.

“Are quite literally shaking in their boots, so I doubt you would actually mind a separate pair of eyes and hands to check your little kidnapping problem, would you?” He continues, “So in light of this little tidbit of news, I conclude that this was more of a test of our skills than an outburst alluding to our possibility of future employment.”

The Mayor releases a scoff and then invites them in.

Once the men are all indoors, they make their way to the meeting hall, which is stripped of the usual gigantic meeting table, chairs and the refreshments. The room is only furnished with an office desk made of dark oak accompanied by a brown leather-covered chair, and the surrounding floor is littered with important-looking documents. The floor of the meeting hall is covered in a very clean and very expensive-looking red rug, and the walls have crests and flags hanging from them.

The Mayor walks up to his desk and leans up against it.

“Now, as you can see, I am quite busy, so let’s make this short. You lot, don’t even look remotely competent. A battle-scarred old bunny, a hulking paladin who can’t read the room and a… Sigh… “ He pauses upon looking down at the druid.

“Never mind. Let’s do it this way. I’ll hire the 3 of you, to investigate the lumberjack’s house on the outskirts of town, find clues as to where his wife and kids are, follow said clues and bring back the hostages ALIVE and the Kidnappers’ heads. Capiche?”

He asks.

“I got 2 questions. The first one is, why the 3 of us? And the second one is, what’s the pay?” Drazdan asks while Marcus nods in agreement, and a low growl emanates from the grizzly.

“Because I don’t trust any of you to manage this job alone, and THIS!” he draws a circle in the entire around the group.

“Is non-negotiable. As for the answer to the second question, it's 10 gold for bringing the hostages back ALIVE, 5 gold for the head of the leader, and 5 silver per enemy killed. That's the pay, and we aren’t haggling over it.” the mayor answers.

“I want to take the mission on alone!” Marcus says somewhat loudly.

“Then you won’t get the job.” the mayor snaps at him.

The druid lets out a roar and squats over the carpet.

“If your friend over there takes a shit on my carpet, I’ll cut your heads off. That carpet is worth over 200 gold coins, and I seriously doubt any of you have the money to pay for it. So if you all want to live, you’ll get your furry friend under control and throw him out this instant.” The mayor threatens them.

Marcus and Drazdan both look at each other before they run to the bear and start pulling him towards the door and lecturing him on the way out over his actions. Once they get him to the door, they push him, out and slam the door behind him. Leaving the druid outside with the guards. The 3 share a few glances before the bear growls at them and shows off his sharp teeth, sending a shiver down both of the guards’ spines and immediately turning away from it.

Drazdan and Marcus make their way back to the meeting hall.

“Now then, sir, I, Drazdan Fleetfoot in company with Marcus Mace and the fur ball accept this quest and will make our way to the house and recommend that you prepare the promised amount and a few barrels of ale for our return,” Drazdan announces with a slight bow.

“Indeed, I, Marcus Mace, swear upon Hoar that we shall accomplish our mission and return with the family. ” Marcus adds.

“Good, I expect a job well done.” the mayor announces. “Now, shoo. I got work to do.”

Marcus and Drazdan start to make their way out of the Manor, while the butler joins the Mayor.

“Are you sure about this, sir?” the monocled and well-dressed old man asks.

“Don’t worry Alfred. I sincerely doubt these half-wits will accomplish anything. It’s too bad for the mimics, but the plan remains unchanged.” he says.

Now outside, the druid is sitting around with the guards still in his bear form. As Drazdan starts walking towards them, Marcus closes the door of the manor and follows Drazdan down the stairs.

“Alright fur ball.” Drazdan says, looking scornfully toward the grizzly.

“You better tell us your name now, since we’ll be stuck together for this job. Also, do we all agree to split the reward money fairly upon success? Then we can all split ways and never see each other again. Sounds good?” asks Drazdan as he looks over the party members.

“I agree with you. But don’t expect me to heal you. ‘Cause I probably won’t. We are nothing but a temporary party for this mission.” Marcus answers.

The bear growls lightly as an answer and nods his massive furry head.

“No talking eh? Fine, I hope I never see your sticky ass ever again.” Drazdan remarks and observing the druid from the corner of his eye.

“On that, we agree.” Comments Marcus.

Then the group of unlikely Heroes make their way out of town and towards the lumberjack’s abode.

End of Chapter 2

HeadlessChickenCrew