The big rig's air brakes hissed to a stop beside the railroad tracks. In the center of the cross-ties burned a mess of tangled metal engulfed in flames. The truck's door swung open and Mule let himself out on all four hooves. Jed licked his wounds. In the bushes he sat on the underside of his flipped race car. His flannel was ripped apart revealing some scrapes, and scratches dug into him.

"I know you took your armor off due to the heat so I was worried if you would still be in one piece” yelled Mule, overlooking.

“What took you so long, I thought you had X-ray vision?” sighed Jed, struggling to stand.

Mule ran to his friend and helped pull him up by gently biting his hand. Jed dusted himself off, and wiped oil, and blood from his eyes.

“My vision is only short range just like our radio receivers, and I had to find the path here that would fit the load" said Mule.

“Well bud, I suppose we are going to have to leave my ride if we ever hope to deliver the jungle juice on schedule,” said Jed.

Mule inspected the wreck, turning to the crackling flames on the tracks.

“Hey at least you didn’t turn out like those fried knights” He said, heading back to the truck.

“Clowns” corrected Jed, following with a limp.

“Ha ha.. Anyway I think I might be able to tow your car, provided you can guide me to reverse quickly,” said Mule.

Jed caught the end of the thrown tow rope midair. Mule was climbing back aboard the truck and trailer barely fitting on the dirt road. Behind the driver seat he was in full concentration to maneuver back and forth with careful turns of the wheel. Jed waved him back, shouting when the trailer was as close it could be without falling with the car.

Jed quickly tied the line, and gave the thumbs up to proceed forward. Mule grinned on feeling the added weight fix itself back on all four wheels. It pulled out of the ditch covered in branches, and thorns. Jed untied the line and waved the truck back further then he tied them together bumper to bumper. He put his hand inside the folded roof to switch his car into neutral before running up to the cab.

“Alright let's hit the road Jed” said Mule.

As his partner in crime climbed aboard, he let off the clutch. The smoke stacks sprouted flames and soot as they continued down the road beside the tracks.

Many miles further on, a royal hostage was being tormented again.

“Lucky for you we missed the first train through here” cackled Killin Hood, checking his sundial.

He was decked in traditional camouflage and wore a matching green sack over his head with holes cut for his eyes, mustache, and mouth. He kicked the bound and gagged figure squirming below him. She was tied in knots above the railroad tracks.

“By midnight I will either slay a Queen or have a fight with a man who crowned himself King. It all depends on the actions of your family” said Killin Hood, twirling mustache.

The queen attempted to talk back with a guttural hiss like a stray raccoon. Killin Hood only grew more amused.

“The perfect bait has been set, now to hide with my men in our trap” he called, prancing off into the woods.

The queen squirmed with all her might trying and loosen her bonds. Eventually she went limp to take a breather. This didn’t last long when she saw something far off in the dusk. She squinted to make out an approaching trail of smoke kicked up far away. Down the tracks a horn announced the end was approaching.

Up the bend Mule slammed on the breaks coming to a stop. Jed hadn’t been wearing a belt and his face was plastered to the dashboard.

“What?” he asked, cradling his head.

“Danger ahead Jed there’s a person tied to the tracks, and bandits all throughout the woods” said Mule.

He shifted into reverse, but didn't let either hoof off the clutch nor the breaks. Ahead the wooden path was a sign that it was the only road carved through the mountain side, and to the only bridge over the river.

“Shoot, we don't have time to go around them if we want to make this delivery, or even survive on our rations. This is the only path we are close to. It's high time to formulate a plan” said Jed, studying their map.

“Hmm well my eyes do give us an advantage in strategy. They only appear to be equipped with bow and arrows, so what if I gun through the danger very fast?” suggested Mule, shifting into first.

“Ok I will climb outside the cab and hold on for dear life in my heavy armor while blasting them if it comes to that,” said Jed opening the door.

He ran to the rear and popped open the trunk. He quickly put on his scavenged protection and grabbed his gun. He ran back to the front and stood outside on the running board grabbing onto the big mirror attached to the door. With a thumbs up the vehicle began to pick up speed towards where Killin Hood was waiting.

Mule strained to reach over and roll down the manual passenger window a crack for communication. The truck roared down the country road. A barrage of arrows bounced off the grill while others cracked the glass or stuck into the hood. Jed scanned everywhere for threats but could see an army of still standing trees covered in moss.

“Where should I be shooting buddy? '' yelled Jed.

The next volley thwacked around narrowly avoiding him. Mule winced as three arrows penetrated the roof, stuck pointing down at him.

“There’s a lot of them, we are surrounded by a hundred or more!” cried the donkey driver.

“Well that would have been good to know before... Our only hope is you putting the pedal to the floor” cried Jed, shooting his gun at a stump that looked suspicious.

“I'm going as fast as she'll let me,” said Mule.

“Thunk, thunk, pop!”

The tires exploded upon hitting a hidden road spike trap while the vehicle skidded out of control. Mule corrected the angle, and the truck limped to a stop further down the road.

“Jed, I'm afraid our only option is to take as many as possible down with us,” said Mule.

“It was good knowing you friend” said Jed shooting the first bandit out of a tree with two crystal tipped bullets.

A dozen of the poorest among Killin Hood's men ran from the forest with tattered rags. They held rusted machetes, axes, a scythe, and the biggest among them held onto a knotted tree branch. Jed blasted the first target in line. Mule struggled to retrieve his shotgun from the glove compartment without adaptable thumbs. Jed shot two more before the big bandit knocked the gun from his hand striking him into the dirt. Jed looked up as the man raised his club to deliver the finishing blow. Mule jumped from the truck kicking two waiting enemies over with his hind hooves, and blew out the giant's guts with the saw-off strapped to his back.

“You really have a habit of saving my ass,” said Jed, picking himself up off the ground.

“ENOUGH!” screamed a voice.

Jed and Mule looked around to see an army of camouflaged men aiming bows. Two of the bowmen stepped aside to let a slender man enter. He ripped off his green mask letting his mustache twice the width of his face fully unfold. The enemies to the ground continued to groan.

“Hello gentlemen the names Killin Hood, and this is my wood if you couldn’t tell” the man announced.

“You’ve made that point sir, sorry about the men we have already shot down” said Mule.

“I suppose we might have some cargo to bargain for our safe exit” sighed Jed.

“Nah it was actually our bad to attack you in the first place we thought you were somebody else” laughed Killin Hood. “We’ve set a trap with bait here so we are going to help you fix those tires and get you right out of here before you give up the jig, it’s you guys lucky day because any other we would scalp you for entertainment” he finished.

“How hospitable of you,” said Mule.

The Queen squirmed on the tracks behind them working overtime to loosen her bonds. Some highwaymen dragged away the fallen bodies, while others rolled out spare tires from the woods. Mule worked the jack with his hoofs to raise the rig. Jed gripped the tire iron in both hands to remove the wheels. Soon the fresh rubber had been swapped on. They were ready to depart.

“Well at least this story could have a relatively happy ending, thanks for your help I guess” said Jed shaking Killin Hood's hand.

“Until next time gentlemen, and remember while you're in our neck of the woods we see everything you do” laughed the bandit leader.

“No issue there, we will follow the road straight out of here to our delivery destination far far away," said Mule.

As the truck pulled away Killin Hood gave the gesture to toot the horn. Mule gave three honks as the truck drove off into the night.

Meanwhile the remaining jesters finally found themselves back in the logging camp. They had been left behind when Snaggy had pursued Jed to his death. The camp was empty with the loggers still out cutting wood deep in the jungle. In the parking lot outside the schlock bar some magma dirt bikes had been left unintended. Primm climbed aboard the only cleaned one with pink flames.

“Let's catch up quickly,” she yelled, speeding off.

The Knight followed by stealing a mud covered bike. Joey Jester struggled to climb aboard the last, and smallest bike with Lil Tim on his back. A steady stream of dust kicked behind the pack of clowns revving off to get their revenge.