《Rubik’s Man: I’m Rich & You’re Dead》Chapter 31 - I Stepped In A Big Pile Of Dog Sh*t
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“You folks need any help?” I snuck up on them like a thief in the night. They were so mystified by my appearance that they backed away slowly as I approached them.
“What’s the matter? Why are you 2 so frightened by me?” I knew why but I just love seeing that ridiculous look on their faces that I prolonged the game.
“Mr Butler it’s that same man from before.” That brat was the first to recognize who I was. He was intelligent enough to figure out that it was no coincidence that I was coming over towards them after their vehicle had broken down.
“Stay away from us, mister. We don’t need any trouble.” The driver placed the boy behind him in a protective manner and shifted his eyes about the vicinity. I could tell that he was searching for someone to assist them.
“Why are you so frightened by me? I only came to help you guys out. Do I look like a bad person?”
“Sure you do!” The kid blurted out. “You look like a no-good gangster. Hurry, Mr Butler. Shoot that man before he gets any closer.”
“Stay quiet, Peter.” Although he told the boy to be silent, he heeded his advice and took out his gun from the holster.
“Woah, there. Be careful with that thing. You could hurt someone.” I immediately raised my hand in a surrendering gesture, however, I kept walking toward them slowly.
This made the driver aim the gun at me and shouted, “Stop right there! I won’t repeat myself. Take another step and I’ll lay you flat on the ground.”
“Alright.” I indulged him and stopped moving. “Are you happy now, man with a gun?” I chuckled slightly when I thought about the many ways I was going to kill that man.
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“Do you find this situation funny?” He questioned me. “The fact that you’re here minute’s after my car started smoking means that you are the one responsible for this. Am I correct in assuming this? ”
“Yes, you are. This was all my doing.” I admitted outright. My truthfulness only puzzled them further.
“What do you want from us?” Hollered the man.
Pointing to the boy hiding behind him, I said, “I came for that golden fish and nothing will stop me from having him.”
“So my hunch was right. You are after Peter. Sorry to spoil your plan but you can’t have him.”
Bam!
The driver fired a bullet that went into my chest. I never expected him to fire so abruptly, but now that he did, I was certain that someone heard the gunshot and would contact the local authorities. I couldn’t afford to waste any more time.
“Playtime is over.” Saying this, I ripped apart my suit and showcased the glowing cavity in my chest. When the kid and the driver saw my full likeness, they were terrified.
“What kind of man are you?” The gun immediately dropped out of the driver’s grasp. When he bent over to reach for it, I dashed toward him in a blurry motion of smoke and gripped his neck. I was going to rip his head clean off his shoulders but then I noticed via the Value Meter that he had a considerable amount of Crowns on his Wealth Chart.
“It’s your lucky night. You get to live a while longer.” I applied the right amount of pressure to knock him unconscious. When I glanced below me to do the same to the kid, I saw that he had already passed out. “He must have fainted when I unleashed my chest. Well, this makes my job a lot easier.”
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I picked up the bodies then dashed away with them to a safe place where I wouldn’t be disturbed by anyone. I brought them to a vacant park that was lit by the crescent moon. The trees surrounding the park concealed my visibility from the towering buildings that almost pierced the clouds.
“This is the perfect place to carry out my nefarious activity. Clown City’s residents hardly come to this park at night.” As I was searching out a proper spat to set down the bodies, I accidentally stepped into something unforgiving.
“Fucking hell! What is this pile of shit doing on the walkway? Some nasty bastard didn’t clean up after their dog. If I ever find the smelly ass that set this stinking trap for me, I’m going to shove a grenade inside it.”
It was hard to get rid of the shit from my boot heel while carrying 2 bodies, therefore, I tossed them onto the ground and went over by the grass to wipe it off. The most amazing thing was, while I was getting rid of the filth, unexpected messages popped up in my face.
“What?” I was at a loss as to what was going on. Suddenly a red light shot out of my eyes and ran over the filth a couple of times.
“Huh, I’ve gained a new skill… just from wiping shit from my boot?” This Rubik’s System could be so unpredictable at times. It made me question the driving force behind its operation.
I failed to solve this mystery, so I detached from the thought. “Let me see what this new skill can do.”
A radial blast of red laser beam expanded from my proximity. It stretched about 9 feet before it dissipated. When I checked my boot heel, the traces of shit completely vanished, not only from my boot but from the grass also as well as the walkway from where I stepped into it.
“Holy crap. I’m a living Va-poo-rizer.” I never would have expected to have acquired this ability in a million years. Even if I had a list of wishes that could be granted instantly by a magical genie I would never include Filth Eraser on the list; not at all.
During my inexplicable awe at this weird ability, I realized that my bowels were sparkly clean. A minute ago I felt the urge to pop one lose but that feeling of wanting to fart completely vanished along with the trace of existing excrement.
“So this Filth Eraser also works on internal levels. That means I never have to use the toilet again if I don’t want to.” The more I familiarize myself with this Rubik’s System, the more I become less of a human.
“I wonder what I will become in the coming year. Maybe an alien-like entity or perhaps a God? Ha-ha-ha-ha!” Thinking about this got me smiling like a maniac. The thirst for more power seethed into my being.
“My quest for dominance has already begun. Now I just need to crush Sharp Stepper’s head to release my vengeance and direct my focus on more lofty prospects.” With this thought in mind, I went back to where I dropped the bodies of the driver and the golden fish.
If I could get possession of their wealth, then that would be a load off my shoulders, moreover, carry me one step closer to my goal—glorious payback.
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