《Knights, Nobles, and Cannibals》Road Warrior
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The blades of the gyrocopter whirled overhead while the pilot angled for a bombing run. The target a big rig Jed was driving on an escape run. The tanker was full of illegal jungle juice, and chased by Killin Hood’s pursuing men. The pilot above flew with one hand while the other giddily held onto a grenade with the pin pulled.
“OO OOO AA AAA!” screeched the monkey climbing aboard.
Mule had transformed from a donkey into several things with wings, and finally a primate with opposable thumbs that he grabbed hold of the pilot with. The man was thrown screaming out of the gyrocopter's driver's seat, and the nade chucked in the other direction. The dead man fell into the big rig's passenger seat with his face ripped open on the open road. Jed shuddered at receiving a dead man's smile that was permanently plastered in his direction.
“BOOM!”
The fallen grenade exploded into an armored vehicle that had been pursuing the tanker. Another vehicle tore through a cactus and rammed the exposed area behind the open cab while the passengers aimed to kill. In the background the flaming truck jumped out of control removing a three-wheeler from the equation. Bullets rained around Jed. He aimed for the front shoulder. The trucks slammed off-road with the shooting vehicle sent airborne. The machine guns aboard continued blasting while the armored truck flew into the canyon eventually exploding on impact.
The bridge crossing the void was too short to clear the big rig. Jed had been forced off road into a desert full of sinkholes. He thrashed and bumped with the last tires leaving off the pavement behind him. Some were slack from roadkill, and one completely flat. The railway ran next to the road, and now the truck followed its cut shoulder. The chasing desert camouflage three wheeled ATVs followed.
“Boom!” another explosion as three three-wheelers caught flames from a grenade.
“I’ve got your six Jed, over and out” said Mule, after switching to the big rig's Crystal Band frequency.
“Bang,Bang!”
“Ten four I got my hands full” said Jed, and his rifle into the C.B.
He grabbed onto the wheel just as the truck was threatening to flip of course. The vehicle skidded forward and fell onto the railroad. The tires began to blow, one after another as the rims took on the railings. Sparks flew like lightning from the axles as the steering wheel ripped out of Jed’s control and he flew around a corner. The big rig had become a small locomotive.
“VROOOOM!” The evil cars were catching up to get revenge for their fallen comrades.
“BOOOOM!” Another grenade interrupted the pursuit, removing more ATVs.
A tumbleweed splintered into pieces on Jed’s armor. He could see he was bleeding through his armor. The road had already ended long ago. More weeds crowded the tracks and obscured all vision as he went ripping through them. The rail screeched with speed below, and what was left of the tires cleared away under red hot pressure. Somehow the rims held in rotation, as the acid rain ceased to burn into the dashboard.
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“Keep on truckin down there little buddy, and I’ll keep blowing them with explosives, over and out.” said Mule, hooting, hollering, and beating his hairy chest in celebration.
He removed another payload from a box marked with warnings with his monkey arms.
“Alright monkey man it’s a miracle and thanks to you I'm still going. Uhh what's the situation on what is happening in my distance,” said Jed.
“Hmmm.. Hold on soldier, I’ll tell you when we get closer, over,” replied the voice over the radio.
“Roger,” said Jed.
The chase continued along the railroad. A train station flew past. The sides were filled with straw that a pursuing armored car destroyed, littering the air. This tailgater was flaming, but had already withstood two nade attacks from above.
A dirt bike hit a ramp made into the station and flew atop the jungle juice container. The bike revving its engine sped down the spine of the liquid storage and onto the front without a cab, exposed to the whirring dirty tires. Chunks of rock splattered across Jeds armor as he nearly got roadburn from the rotation. The bike driver looked up from throttling his machine in the face of the other driver who had a rifle.
“BANG!” said Jed’s gun, blowing guts into motion.
“Jed it looks like a boom town ahead,” said Mule, throwing another explosive.
The explosive whistled through the air, as his arm fell into a container searching for his next victim. There was a boom below while the search remained unsuccessful. Mule took his eyes off the western boom town in the distance, and flew past a rusted water tower. The truck horn blew in celebration of the third nade taking out the armored vehicle.
“Uhhh little buddy, I'm afraid I'm out of payloads, so I hope you don’t have much company remaining, over,” said Mule, adjusting the gyrocopter flight path.
He flew over an old shooting gallery full of moving targets, while bullets shot littered the skyline. The small t-rex arm like wheels of the gyro-copter were severed from underneath by flying lead. The small flier going behind the cover of bare orange desert hills was taking fire.
“I’m on fire, but I’ll be back,over and out,” said Mule, struggling to stay airborne while smoke poured from the motor.
There was a single armored car remaining, but it had a turret with a heavy rotating gun that had been winding at Mule. The gunner stopped shooting to adjust his angle in motion. Soon he had a beed on Jed in the front seat dead ahead. The trucker looked behind him and realized he was dead to rights. He pressed on the gas pedal and closed his eyes hoping for the best to unfold.
The wind whistled through holes knocked in his advanced armor. All was black in the void while Jed had dissociated. It was almost like he had journeyed back into the core of the planet, but not quite. The gun was spinning locked onto his body, but no bullets had come out of the chamber yet.
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“!...Hmmm,” said the gunner, looking over his weapon with a red barrel. “Drat overheated”, he finished shaking an iron fist at the truck taking the rails through a small opening of buildings.
The armored car he was attached to at a swivel and locked, but not loaded anymore. The driver dodged a chicken coop, and rammed into a cow shed smashing aside boards before finally sinking into a vat of liquid manure. Most aboard it jumped off beside the bones of cows while a passenger was sucked into a final resting place trapped inside the cabin.
The big rig had no cab, but was still going at high speed on the tracks and entering the ghost town. A deserted town in the desert with lots of cactuses, and tumbleweeds, but no people remaining except those currently entering. The big rig’s brakes screeched, being eaten below the foot stomping them. The truck, and liquid load came to a halt in the center of the town next to a fountain of sand. The three-wheelers pulled beside the vehicle hitting the end of the tracks, and a stopper ramming the bumper.
“Where’s the target?” asked the masked man, climbing from the ATV.
More troops pulled in beside the deserted vehicle. The camouflaged army men spread out and began searching the town in quadrants like their training had drilled into them. Jed watched this hiding from where he had climbed a ladder. The large industrial drill was partially lodged above a mine shaft heading deep below the town.
The former ghost town had come alive with the activities of Killin Hood’s men. As night descends It was time to be stealthy for Jed who crept along in C.Q.B. mode so far undetected. He had immediately removed his armor, and inspected himself for grevious wounds. He had a tourniquet tied to both a leg and an arm after cutting the arms off his flannel. Now he wore a stained tank top that was designed for beatings, and a knife in his mouth. He crawled underneath a building like a snake. Above the floorboards Jed pulled himself music reverberated. The troops had walked into an old saloon, and spotted free drinks unguarded. Naturally after the pouring had started somebody had activated a wind up piano that was would play itself automatically. The floor creaked, and clacked as they danced a jig, and laughed. The revolving doors burst open as more entered the premise to party.
“Hey a blackjack table upstairs” yelled a deep voice.
“I’ll be right up there, but first I got to piss, '' squeaked another.
The floor continued moving all around above Jed, who continued crawling to the other side of the dwelling. He was under the decking now, and that was also crawling with activity. A voice whistled out the side door.
“Hey uh could you guys look the other way.. I gotta take care of some business,” squeaked the voice, mixing perfectly in pitch with the nest next to Jed’s head.
“Hehe, Partner I'm afraid you're going to have to go out with the ghosts behind another building,” said a coarse murmur.
“Just remember to stay away from the old bank while it gets checked over.” added another.
The spurred boots dropped into the soil from the deck where eyes tracked them at groundlevel. The man continued whistling as he walked into the darkness. Jed could now see that he wore a holstered gun, bandoliers of fresh ammo, and a fresh cowboy hat. A zipper loudly descended while a yellow stream watered crystal down a shaft of the same colors. The whistle became strained while something slithered closer to attacking.
A knife descended onto the neck cutting off the air, and changing the color of the only running stream in town. The man gargled his last breaths, while the flow of blood became a trickle. The body was looted, and dragged underneath a building. Jed was equipped for more warfare, as a monkey howled in the distance. He had stolen a satchel of TNT in addition to all the ammo strapped across his sleeveless garb with bandoleers. It was growing colder outside every second.
Meanwhile the hoedown continued in the dilapidated saloon. The broken chairs had been beaten to a pulp, and now fed the fire. The bar was being emptied while a driver had temporarily switched careers to a tender. Men drank all around while shouts erupted upstairs at the game table. There was even a guy who had figured out how to change the automatic piano to something even higher tempo. People danced like there was no tomorrow.
Outside the two guards looked mean, and crosseyed to still be on duty. They could see the shadows of fun being projected through the windows onto the faded advertisement for a king size tractor painted red with a dust coating of clay. Something broke a twig knocking into something that ringed metallic down the alley.
“What was that distraction?” asked a guard.
“Well you heard it, so go investigate it Nemo” said the other.
“Fine” sighed Nemo, stepping towards the distraction.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”
The guard was thrown forward by a massive blast of flames engulfing the saloon behind him. He ate a face full of desert dirt, and debris crashed around everywhere including on top of his back. Nemo grunted to his feet, and began dusting himself off.
The building he was outside was on fire and full of screaming. He blinked the gunk out of his eyes, and began to raise his gun. Vision pulsed in and out of focus. He thought he saw a shadow leep out from the portion of the decking that had not exploded. Nemo wiped his eyes several times to make sure it had not been a dream, but the crackling continued. He rubbed his eyes a final time, and opened to Jed walking into frame with a rifle.
“BANG!”
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