The zeppelin fleet had reached cruising altitude some time ago. Killin Hood sat in the lounge, with his feet propped up, while reading a newspaper. A small oval room full of no smoking signs, and limited furniture. His lab was bookmarked behind the empty aluminum secret entry to a pressurized room. A company store was onboard in another section that served dessert.

He set down the entertainment to finish the plotting for the future victory bash. After the hostile takeover of the kingdom was completed royal skulls would be hacked as the victory lap. Finally there would be a wedding between the last two royals remaining, and one was himself.

“Let’s see what am I missing?” he wondered aloud.

So far the list consisted of:

Mail invitations to the baddest beings with the biggest body counts on the planet. (Done). Book a big band swing, and swingers. (check). A massive cake composed of sugar, spice, and evil ingredients. This one had been tricky because a cake that large needed to be baked by a specialty baker, and there was only one on the entire planet who would only bake with good ingredients. Take a baker’s family hostage until they comply with my demands (easy). Eat the last of the frozen meat that his boys had hunted to extinction. Heads of most of the slain royals on spikes for decoration, while the most famous of them remaining would be stuffed just like all his other prize critters.

“Mmmm” he thought, lounging deep in the chair, as the thoughts continued flying at him.

There was something else that was needed to complete the wedding, but his mind was still foggy after the heart transplant. He was missing something very important, and he should have written it down. If only being boss of the Killin company didn’t require working for 3,4500 hours a week.

The door slid aside, and Queen Elizebethy entered automatically. She lumbered forward without her jet-pack in a trance like slumber.

Killin Hood had to stop himself from rising due to the filled fluid tubes hidden under his suit tying him to the chair. “Alas we have another thing in common, being two medical experiments,” he finished, adjusting the blood bag hung on one side of him before flicking the half empty rainbow colored drip on the other to make sure it was working.

“This super-vitamin drip has magic ingredients that will have me recover from the operation in record time baby. One of many amazing creations brewed and bottled by my main witch and it’s the shit” said Killin Hood.

She remained silent. A slack-jawed face painted with a fresh coat of makeup, and her tits barely holstered. He looked her over with the intensity of a hungry predator licking his lips and finding them dry, finally he stuck a finger into a small leak dripping from the bag. Now they both had bright red lipstick.

“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” he asked, before beckoning to her with a louder dog whistle.

She remained silent. He sunk back in the aluminum recliner covered with furs, and sighed. He reached for the coffee table, almost knocking his mug while his sausage fingers searched in vain for something. He looked down and didn't find what he was looking for, and growled before feeling up the crevices on the recliner. His lab came alive and matched his tone from the other room.

“And of course I forgot to turn off the timed industrial blender in there” he cried with his whole face turned red.

A bell dinged and the fingers hit their target as the blending stopped.

“Ahh” he cried gleefully, holding the remote to his bride, and clicking unmute.

“Wanna date?” she blurted.

“No, there won’t be any more courting here dear. Our love at first sight power play is stronger for that. This will be a crossbow wedding” he said, rising.

“Got any crystals?” she asked.

“Yes zillions of them, well some of them are yours for now but once we are married we will share the entire stockpile together,” he said, pressing the forward button a few times to draw her closer.

Killin Hood began to stroke her unloving face while the makeup ran away from him. A massive tear escaped from the duct of a TV eyed cyborg woman, and fell on her captor, who looked up in surprise.

“Awww what’s wrong honey” he said, creepily.

Suddenly the thought that had evaded the hunter all night came into his crosshairs. He had caught the tear cupped in his other hand, and now drank it.

“That’s it” he shouted “We need some booze.. I gotta call my witch again”.

“I want crystals not schlock,” said Elizebethy, stamping her foot, and threatening to pop the vessel.

Her fiance loudly clicked the mute button.

“It's a shipment of jungle juice we were after, and It better have been successfully taken by my goons that shit is rarer than super cracked crystals the Elf manufacture” he said, looking sternly around the room for answers.

His lab emerged from the shadows on four paws with something in its mouth. The beast dropped a slimy banana in the master's lap, and circled the feet.

“Ahh good boy I don’t even have to whistle to you” said Killin Hood, unwrapping the banana.

He revealed a keypad, and a terp crystal antenna popped out where the fruit should have been. He started typing and it was ringing in no time. Isabella picked up on the other side with an enormous coughing fit. Killin Hood angled the loudness at his bride to be, and mouthed a complaint she didn’t care to understand.

“Sorry boss. Are you married yet?” said Isabela, finally calming herself.

“No, I’m calling to make sure that shipment of jungle juice we captured quite a while ago has started en route to our wedding ceremony” he replied.

“Gulp,” said Isabela.

“...Is it destroyed?” yelled KIllin Hood.

“I think so, but maybe I can brew so”.

“NO!” he said, slamming the table. “I guess you're going on an expedition, you witch. So pack your bags” he finished with a hiss.

“But I'm supposed to watch the fort,” she said.

“Those video feeds can be watched remotely if you bring your balls,” he said.

“Ok. i’ll fly the desert first for a scout, and then head to the jungle if that tanker was drained in the firefight hehehe”.

“Good!”

“click/” the phone was hung up.

Capital city was in disarray. After King Edward had disappeared after his mother the place was a mess. D.D.P. had broken up, and was suing each other for royalties, and who got to be King. Roger had wanted the crown for himself so he was locked in the dungeon, and kicked out of the band. This severely stung the cannibal who vowed to get his revenge on the others.

Luckily he had an agent was in town. The secretive figure had visited him in his dreams. She promised a lucrative solo career, and all that jazz. He had later found the key to his cell under his pillow after a wet dream. Now the door was open, the guards were dead, and Roger stalked the halls looking for a snack.

The city streets were dead as the zeppelins circled like vultures overhead. Killin Hood’s ship was the first to descend, docking without a shot fired. He unhooked the emptied medical bags a new man. He grabbed his suitcases, and departed with his Queen and lab in tow.

A loud four to the flour beat greeted him with applause of clapping guards, and nobles outside. The party turned into a parade through the streets as confetti rained. He did a two step by the bus stop, kissed babies, and shook hands. The palace doors blew open, revealing an empty throne room. A massive crystal ball was hoisted to the ceiling, and an illuminated rug of squares was rolled across the floor.

Killin Hood kept on dancing with his most talented henchman snapping into it behind him. He removed his tie, as somebody started break dancing in the background. Girls covered in nothing but crystal dust rollerblading out of the shadows, and joining the action. The King to be boogied over to his Queen, and took her hands. After pressing her buttons she began to bust a move too.

A record scratch cut the action off as soon as it had started. Roger stood in the doorway with an army of guards still loyal behind him.

“What is this shit! Who do you think you are?” he screeched.

“Sorry you weren’t invited” replied Killin Hood, dropping his bride's hand.

“The rest of my family may have fled, but I'm gonna do this myself,” said Roger, cracking his knuckles.

“Boy don’t you see your mommy right here, you're gonna be my step-son soon” laughed Killin Hood.

“Not if you're dead. Get him!” he commanded, pointing forward.

The guards momentarily hesitated before inching forward with drawn weapons. Cap aimed a pistol at Killin Hood who smiled.

“Bang!”

The bullet was easily deflected by a defensive bubble emerging from the cyborg Queen.

“Now it’s time to breastfeed again you baby” said Killin Hood,

He pressed the same button again, and the field disappeared. He pressed another button and two big guns revealed themselves.

“Bang,bang,bang,bang,bang,bang,bang,bang,bang,bang!”

The dead remained on the dance floor while Queen Elizebethy’s chest was smoking, and the royal party resumed raging.