[And there you have it, folks. We bring the first half to a close in record time. Blisteringly fast rounds here at the stadium, but I’m certain none of the crowd are disappointed with the action.]

“Absolutely not. We are witnessing history here today, and I for one am just thankful we get another half of this incredible spectacle.”

[You really have to give it to the Endless. Every round, on offence or defence, they’ve tried something different and shown us some incredible play. Fast passing, decoy balls, innovative trap setups, unique formations. Against any other opposition, they would be dominating this game.]

“I quite agree. This is a performance that lives up to the team and its formidable reputation, but despite outnumbering their opponent ten to one, despite their experience and superior tactics, it simply isn’t enough to overcome the difference. If all twenty of them were out there, I’m not sure it would be enough.”

[Well, it’s break time. Tea and biscuits are being served here in the recording booth and down on the field to the players. It looks like… yes, actually, someone has gone ahead and made the Eldest a cake! What a lovely touch, making sure they feel welcome here on the second stratum of the Dungeon.]

“And WHAT a cake! You could feed three weddings with that thing, but it still looks tiny before the Great One. Hopefully they don’t overeat before we head into the second half. Commentant and I will take a brief rest, and then we’ll be back to analyse the first half and bring you all the action in the second.”

~~~

Holy moly. I can’t believe those little ants almost managed to knock me over!

I came within a whisker of being dumped into a hole by ants so small I can walk over them. What a grand sight that would have been, the mighty Eldest knocked over by hatchlings barely out of their cocoons. I would have had to retire to the fourth stratum and bury myself in a hole to escape the embarrassment!

Thankfully, I managed to hold my ground and make it look like it wasn’t close. I don’t feel quite so bad with that point on the board. If the first half had ended without me scoring a point….

Stupid rules!

But it’s halftime, which I understand involves a break in proceedings, which is nice. I’ll just flop down onto the ground.

CRUNCH!

Ahhhh. Nice. It’s good to stretch out the legs every now and again, give them a bit of a wiggle in the air. Across from me, the Endless are similarly resting, though not as efficiently as I am, the fools. Solant is talking to everyone, probably gathering information, or talking about mixing up their strategies.

All of it useless! Muahahaha!

I told her it wouldn’t matter in the face of overwhelming power, and then I proved it. There’s nothing they can do to stop me repeating the same idea over and over again.

Wait, there’s stuff being delivered out to the field? What’s this?

Before my bewildered eyes, a team of ants and humans delivers a table right in front me, upon which they place the largest cup of tea I’ve ever seen, along with oversized biscuits!

I mean… what?

Peter did tell me it was the tea and biscuits break, but I thought that was just phrasing! Are you telling me this is literally a tea and biscuits break?

I glance over at the Endless and they’re already chomping away at their own biscuits and sipping from their cups of tea, lowering their heads with dainty movements to sip from the cups.

Well, if they can do it, there’s no reason I can’t…. It feels weird, though. The biscuits look lovely, a golden colour indicating they’ll have a nice crunch, and the tea smells nice, but… I’ve never eaten human food since becoming a monster. I have no idea if the taste buds even work the same way….

Here goes nothing….

I lower my head toward the cup, letting my mouth come into contact with the cup, and I take a hesitant sip.

HOT!

But tasty….

This tea is quite refreshing! A certain depth of flavour that leaves the palate feeling cleansed whilst the drink warms me all the way to my stomach. Delectable!

Might as well give these biscuits a try.

Nibble.

Hmmmm. Tasty! Nice crunch and that sugary flavour I haven’t tasted in this entire lifetime. It’s almost enough to bring a tear to my eyes.

And what’s this?!

Along comes another group of ants, transporting a massive, MASSIVE, decorated cake. It still looks small to me, but this cake must be almost the size of a person. That’s an absurd amount of cake. Who the heck made this thing? It’s frosted and decorated and everything!

I look closely and I can see that the characters and scenes rendered with remarkable skill on the icing are mostly pictures of me during my various exploits…. I can even recognise a few motifs that I’ve seen before.

Michaelangelant! You fiend! Not satisfied with plastering my face on every bit of flat rock you can get your mandibles on, now you’ve started on cake decorating! I recognise this handiwork anywhere!

I’ll get that ant one of these days… I swear it!

But… since the cake is here anyway, I might as well take a bite. I barely got to eat any cake as a human, so this is quite the treat! Even across two lives, a cake is a rare event!

~~~

“Are you sure about this, Solant?” Leonidant asked, looking at the Eldest. “This doesn’t seem right.”

“I agree,” the general said, “attempting to inhibit the Eldest’s performance through underhanded means is completely against the spirit of the game, as well as being morally wrong, in my opinion.”

“Then why? Why are we feeding the Eldest this… cake… thing?”

“For victory,” the small ant said, her eyes burning with a furious intensity. “If I cannot win within the bounds of fair play, then I will go outside of those bounds without hesitation. I have vowed that we will never know defeat, and there is nothing I won’t do in order to make that a reality.”

“We may win, but at what cost? What will the Colony think if they learn what we’ve done? Or the humans? Our reputation will be damaged, your reputation will be damaged. You’re the brightest strategic mind in the Colony, and because of this, you may never see a real command position.”

Solant turned to her loyal scout.

“You misunderstand me. I don’t care about reputation, I don’t care about what I may accomplish in the future. I care about victory. Cost is irrelevant! Other concerns are irrelevant!”

“Uhhh, you two?”

“What is it, Sumant?” Leonidant sighed.

“The Eldest sent us half of the cake.”

Solant slowly turned and saw the giant ant at the other side of the pitch wave a friendly antenna at them as they happily munched on half of the enormous cake. The other half was right next to them.

“Do you think they read our minds and realised what we were doing?”

“It’s possible,” Solant muttered, staring at the Eldest. “But for some reason, I don’t think so.”

She’d been careful to almost never think of this plan, and she had never mentioned it to the others. The Eldest was probably just… sharing.

“So, what do we do?” Sumant asked. “We can’t not eat it… right?”

Solant thought furiously.

“Dammit,” she muttered.