《Renegade's Redemption: Dust》[Vol 2 Ch 12] Seed, Sprout (Part 1)
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Nania POV
My heart was thrumming so much so that I feared King Lordrin would somehow hear. A ridiculous notion—he was, I expected, asleep in his room in the palace as I prowled the streets of Gresha at night. But when I was dealing with someone like him, it was wiser to indulge any caution, no matter how ridiculous.
Maybe the wisest thing of all to do would have been to stay in my room tonight. Or even to have never snuck out of the city with Elian in the first place, all those years ago. Much too late for that now, of course. Sneaking out of the city, meeting Talon, it was all said and done. I was already out of the temple, in the late night streets of Gresha. At this hour, long after anyone had much of any reason to be out, the empty streets had a hazy and ethereal feel, as though I were drifting through a dream of a dream. Before I knew it, I was already standing before Ellie’s house. I wasn’t completely foolish. I knew what visiting Talon would lead to, but I just wanted to talk to my friend one more time. Tell them I was alright, tell him why we couldn’t see each other again. Assure them that I wasn’t that foolish and cowardly little girl anymore, that I wouldn’t be rash or a burden or cause more problems, that I’d try to take advantage of this situation. Somehow. Surely Crown Naruune would indulge me.
Before knocking on the wall of what I knew to be Elian’s bedroom, I paused and took a breath. This would be it. Most likely the last time I ever saw my closest friend. Ever, maybe. Before I could stop myself, I leaned forwards and rapped my hand against Elian’s wall, just beside the window.
Silence. I knocked again, and then a small head with sleepy brown eyes and hair like Elian’s, perhaps a touch darker, poked out of the window. “What are you doing here?” Elian’s younger sister, Raike, asked in a groggy tone. She was the second oldest child of Elian’s family, after her eldest sibling.
“Raike? Is your brother home?” I asked, heart nearly leaping from my mouth. If I had to waste time here with Raike, then that raised the chances of the rest of the family catching me out here and telling someone.
“No. I thought they were out with you and...that boy.” Suspicion seemed to pierce Raike’s sleep-fogged state as her eyes narrowed. “El isn’t?”
“I haven’t seen either of them for weeks,” I said, my mind beginning to spin back to the events of the Harvest Festival. “When did you say you saw Ellie last?”
“Two days ago.”
“Two days…” Two days. Though my friend spent much time off on their own, they always struggled to at least spend most of their nights in Gresha. Had something happened? Were they hurt, or lost, or--
“They always do this,” Raike broke me from my musing, her tone a little bitter. “They always run off and leave me behind.”
Something resentful stirred in my chest. “Raike, Ellie loves you a lot. You’re their sister. It’s just...sometimes people have things they need to do, which keep them from being with the people they care about.”
Raike said nothing, plopping her head in her hands. The late hour and her bitter feelings seemed to be waging war within her, the only outward signs being the little changes in her expression, from the drooping of her eyelids to the furrow of her brow. Regardless, she didn’t say anything, so I decided to go on.
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Ugh. Why did I choose to try and comfort her like this? I shouldn’t be the one lecturing her on responsibility, on duty. The other Candidates and my teachers would say I had no sense of these things at all, that I was just selfish and fickle, but...I came out here prepared to say goodbye to one of the few people I cared for. I may not care much for Gresha, but I could understand loyalty and love for a friend. This time, I understood. To keep something precious to me safe, I needed to sacrifice something less important. But it would be worth it, if I could do it. It would be worth it.
“Adults like to make the world seem so much simpler than it is,” I just said. “They tell you to do things because it’s the way things have always been done. Because that somehow makes it right’. But sometimes you realize that the ‘right’ thing is simpler, and harder. And it keeps you away from the people you want to be with, but that’s okay, because even if you can’t see it with your own eyes, you know it means they’ll be okay.”
“I don’t get it,” Raike said. “What’s more important than helping your family?”
I shrugged in a huff. “It’s not that you’re not important. If they left you behind, it’s because you’re the most important. I’m sorry, I know it doesn’t make much sense. If it helps, they left me behind this time, too.”
“I don’t know. Sounds dumb,” Raike muttered. Sleepiness seemed to be winning out over her bitterness and disappointment.
“Get to sleep, kid,” I told her. “Elian will be back soon. They just want to get stronger and wiser, I think. And then they won’t need to leave so much. And if they come back, tell them…” I bit my lip. “Tell them I’ve developed a taste for festival cakes. But they can have all of them, if they want.” Raike muttered some vague agreement, and retreated back into the house. I wasn’t sure she would even remember my message enough to get it across to Elian, but that wasn’t the only reason I felt dissatisfied. I had hoped a goodbye, a chance at closure, would be enough for me, but some part of me now demanded more.
I wanted to leave Gresha. Becoming a Priestess wasn’t my choice, but the idea that I should eagerly become one anyways simply made me want to struggle and kick. Those claims that Gresha was the greatest city and there was no reason to ever leave made me want to leave all the more. A part of me had hoped to leave with Elian once. To run away and make it on our own. More recently, I had entertained daydreams of leaving with Ellie and Talon both. But now...could I really do that?
What if Elian and Talon were fine, a traitorous voice within me whispered. What if they aren’t injured or hurt? What if they’ve both just decided to leave without you? Leave you here? An initial burst of envy and resentment spun around my gut, before I grounded myself by digging my nails into the meat of my arm. Sharp pinpricks became anchors for my thoughts.
I was certain that I was the person in Gresha who knew and understood Elian the best. Most chose to just take them for what they seemed to be at face value. But one couldn’t spend that many secret meetings with another without picking up a few things about them. Elian was cheerful, yes. Kind, sure. But more than that, Elian was compassionate. Driven. Secretive, a damn liar. Nonsensical and ambitious. They were a lot of things, and they were someone who cared for me and my happiness. Who went to great lengths to please me, amuse me, cheer me up, bolster my confidence.
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They were a liar, but they were a liar who cared so deeply, hiding the depth of that care beneath a thin veneer of shallow optimism. One couldn’t help but love that.
If those two had left completely…
…It would be okay. They’d be beyond King Lordrin’s grasp forever. I was sure together they’d become something incredible, blazing stars that changed the course of the world’s story. Maybe I’d even hear snatches of them, brought by the wind and visitors from afar. I...I could live with that.
Those two were the strongest people I knew. And the most incredibly driven people. They would be okay, I was certain of it. Elian, with their warmth. Talon, with his fire, his intensity. They were okay, they were okay, they were okay.
They had to be. Or else…
Or else I would…
I would…
Talon’s POV
My dreams were full of fire, blood, and ash. Flames seemed to ravage my body, as a knife’s blade pierced my forehead, over and over. Slowly the firelight drew me from sleep as I found the strength to open my eyes.
A monstrous scavenger-bird. Pecking at my face. With a leaden hand I batted at it until it fluttered away. Was it trying to snack on my eyes? Maybe a crow of some sort? The world seemed hazy with smoke and heat. She couldn’t be far off. I needed to kill her, to have my revenge, before she got away. Needed to, needed to, needed to.
My weapons were nowhere to be seen. My hands and teeth would just have to do. On clumsy feet I stumbled through the environment, gasping as fire ants feasted on feet, calves, thighs. Scent and sight were unreliable. Instead I followed my hearing until I found her. A woman with glowing pupils. The Sun Fiend.
In a disinterested tone which cut through my mind’s haze, she said, “Sweet Reservoir… Why are you out of your bed? Go to bed before I sedate you.”
“I’m going to kill you, you monster!” I snarled hoarsely, as I clumsily channeled heat into my hands. Her demeanor changed in the space a single moment, stoic masking shattering into sharp splinters of worry as her eyes bugged out of her skull. The Fiend grabbed a flower I couldn’t recognize and shoved it towards my nose.
“No fire!” she hissed under her breath. “Why would you—!? No! No fire!”
My head grew foggy and cloudy again as I drew a confused gasp, and breather in the sweet scent of the flower. I tried to pull away from her, but my legs refused to listen. Instead, I collapsed. She watched me with wary eyes, as though concerned I was about to leap up and sink my teeth into her throat. Perhaps her fears would be well-founded, if I could control my body. Instead my limbs lolled about like a child’s worn doll, and she released a sigh, some of the tenseness evaporating from her body as she scooped me up.
“The things I do for them… Next time you try this, I tie you to the bed,” she informed me as the world went dark.
My limbs refused to move at all when I woke up again. No matter how I tried to stand, to struggle, to fight back, it was as if they really had been tied down. Or, I thought for a dreadful moment, removed. Fortunately I could still turn my head, and quickly confirmed that they were still there, still free.
Was it the power of a god, to keep me so thoroughly restrained? And where was I? Where was As—no, Elian? Had the Sun Fiend brought us here? What was she planning to do with us? I’d die before I let her do as she wanted. I’d kill her. I’d kill myself. If I could do nothing else, I would rip out her throat with my own teeth. Anything, I would do anything.
“Y-you coward! Come out here and fi—” I couldn’t even speak. My words became a wheezing cough forcing its way from my lungs, and then another. It climaxed in a sudden wave of nausea, and a wet mess forced itself through my throat and out my mouth. It was all I could do to make sure it went over the edge, and only splattered the floor. Couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. Weak. Useless. Pathetic. Helpless. Simply waiting for another to come and end it all, or to come and save me. Just like Kite, just like A…
No. No, I could not think like that. If I was stuck here, I may as well examine the room. Perhaps it could give me some hints about where I was, and why I was here. As I did I took deep breaths, and forced my mind to focus. To fixate on something useful if it still insisted on running rampant. Mentally bent its arm and twisted until it complied.
The room seemed closer to Greshan-style architecture than Angran, built to be permanent and sturdy. Strangely, however, it was completely made from wood, not fired clay bricks. The floor was covered by a mossy green carpet—some sort of strange animal’s pelt? Cluttering the walls were several wooden shelves. Most of them were left empty, except for the very highest parts, which were crammed with potted plants, flowers, and fungi, as if they’d been moved there. If wood was so abundant, were we still within the Deep Woods?
The first important thing I noticed was that there were two exits. There, the door, and there, just above me, the window. My vision was too blurry to see much beyond the window, which was concerning, but there was little I could do about it now.
Something else strange was what I woke up on. A bed. No, not a bed, a couch. I was sprawled lengthwise across it, my head propped by the arm and something soft. The set was firm, but not uncomfortably so. Why would the Sun Fiend leave me on a couch? Wait, why would the Sun Fiend have a couch…? I didn’t like this.
A rustling noise drew my attention back to the window. On the back of the couch had alighted a phoenix peering down at me. This was probably the bird I hazily remembered seeing the last few times I had woken up, I realized. Not a crow or scavenger: it was a phoenix. Younger than the one I had—we had slain, once, still young and small enough to fit within the window. My heart twisted painfully at the memory. Briefly I wondered about Elian’s fate, which made my stomach churn again, though there was nothing else left in it. There was no point in wondering if they were alive or dead, so I’d just need to avenge them too. Somehow.
I was too tired to analyze how that made me feel. Brush the doubts back under the bed. Doubts and regrets and worries and weaknesses all. It would all be worth it. (But what would remain after—?) It would all be worth it.
I chewed my lip slightly, then snapped at the bird, “Get out of there. You’re blocking the view.”
The damned bird only tilted its head at me, then fluttered towards me.
“No! Go away!” I rasped. Instead it did the opposite, getting closer, despite my cursing and aggression. Damn animal, was it deaf or just daft in the head?
“You. Get out of my home.”
I turned my head to see a woman standing in the room’s doorway, glaring hard in my direction. For a moment fire coursed through my veins. The Sun Fiend. It was her, she was here, I needed to—
She marched over to me, setting a bowl of broth down on a nearby table, and reached across the couch to grasp the phoenix in her arms. “I have nothing for you, Phoenix,” she scolded it firmly, as though it would understand. I was left dumbfounded, watching the Fiend—no, the woman, lecture a wild animal. In response, the phoenix made a series of distressed cries and squawks, like it was crying. “No! I have no food for you! Being predominantly a carnivore, I can’t imagine why you would want my food anyways, too much of it can not be healthy for you. And the sheets! If you get soot or dirt or feathers on them, I swear—
“And you. I was not joking about tying you down if you continue to do foolish things,” she said, looking down at me with a glare. As I looked her in the eye, I realized that she...actually looked almost nothing like the Sun Fiend. The two were as physically different as night and day, and now I felt a little embarrassed at having mistaken one for the other.
Though her eyes glowed with a similar inner light, her irises were not red, but green. Her hair was a vibrant green to match, standing out against her dark skin. Additionally she was a little taller than the Fiend, and looked fatter and less muscular, though knowing Elian, it would be foolish to assume she was weak, especially if she somehow dragged the two of us—me, back to this place. Though her expression was stern, her aura was much less frightening and volatile than the Fiend’s. Her expression came off as disdainful and annoyed, but she didn’t seem haughty. And, recalling what I now expected to be our last few encounters with a little embarrassment, she seemed to have good reason to be annoyed.
The woman frowned at the mess I had made on the floor, apparently noticing it for the first time as she clutched the weeping phoenix, then shut her eyes. “Mother. Mama. Sweet Reservoir. All you Crowns,” she groaned, “Why do I agree to these things? One more thing to clean up…”
I opened my mouth, noisily drawing in a breath of air. She set the phoenix down on the floor and turned back turned to me, telling me with just her eyes to be silent. “Sit up,” she commanded, now wielding a spoon.
“Who are you?” I rasped, still grappling with the who and the where and the why. She seemed disinterested in indulging my questions, though. This woman had a number of jobs to do, and I had my doubts that a half-dead boy was going to stand in her way.
“Someone invested in your recovery. Now drink quickly, so I can clean the mess you ma—” The phoenix lunged for the bowl, as if hooked by a fishing line. She looked horrified as she yanked the bowl high out of reach. “No, I said not you! Not for you! You had your meal! You can hunt your own meals, why do you continue to come to me!?”
I crossed my arms, trying not to look like a pouting child. “No. Why do you care?”
Despite the chaos of her situation, she kept a surprising amount of composure, and did not seem snappy in the slightest. “It’s not poisoned. If I wanted you dead, I could have simply killed you by inaction. Save good medicine and good soup. A lot of good medicine.” She frowned. “...I would have to deal with two corpses, though.”
“What do you want from me? Where’s Elian?” I asked.
“One moment,” she said, as she placed the bowl of soup in my lap and picked up the phoenix barehanded, deftly avoiding the puddle of vomit. Mournfully, pitifully, it cried out for the broth like an innocent man dragged to execution as she tossed the bird through the window, where it took flight and tried to hurl itself back in. Unfortunately for it, it was thwarted. The woman snapped her fingers, and the window’s shutters suddenly slammed shut.
“Need to shut the other windows, before it messes up my lab, then I need to…” she muttered, frazzled, as I dubiously eyed the soup.
The phoenix had been rather intent on devouring this. And...perhaps I could see why. It smelled delicious, enough to make me all the more aware of how weak my limbs felt. If it was good enough for the phoenix, and if this woman had indeed saved my life, were those two things enough to ensure it wasn’t poisoned?
What did it matter? As much as I wanted to accomplish my goals before death, starvation would kill me as surely as poison, wouldn’t it? I stuck a spoonful of broth in my mouth, then struggled not to moan at the sublime flavor.
The woman had not been paying attention to me as I judged, and then inhaled, the soup. At some point, she had cleaned up and left again. Now that I was more aware realized the carpet was not made of an animal’s pelt, it was actual moss. It seemed to have absorbed my vomit, and now small flowers I couldn’t recognize were blooming from where it had been, emitting a pleasant smell to cover up the rank odor.
Eventually I began to stare at my empty bowl, waiting for something to happen. There was no sudden tiredness or cramping of my stomach. No awful second wave of nausea. Probably not poisoned.
I tried to clench my hand into a fist, then relax it. Was it a little slow? It was a miracle it could move at all. Under the stiff bandages wrapped around it, I too-easily imagine peeling and cracked layers of burnt, blackened skin. To match the Wastelands, also razed by the Sun Fiend a long time ago. Fitting it would birth a child to match its landscape.
The bowl of soup was empty. Filled with new strength, I knew I had to find Elian. And then I had to find my weapons and leap. With stiff fingers I moved the bowl out of my way, and swung my feet over the other side of the couch. The soft moss of the carpet gently tickled my feet. Carefully, I began to push myself upright…
Then looked up to see my hostess had returned, and was giving me a deeply judgemental look.
I lifted my feet back onto the couch and pouted.
“I’ve put a lot of effort into saving your and your friend’s lives,” she said, picking up the bowl in her arms. “No one appreciates seeing their efforts go to waste. If you don’t trust me then just trust that. The less you do stupid things, the faster you’ll heal, and the faster you can get far, far away from me.”
She was perceptive. Though she wasn’t the nicest with her words, she didn’t waste time trying to appeal to my emotions or prove her intentions. Instead, she skipped straight to logic. Could this be called a type of empathy, sensing when one method wouldn’t work and trying to pick a more suitable one? Her logic wasn’t faulty, but it still annoyed me. I was the one who woke up confused and injured, entirely at her mercy. I should be allowed to distrust her.
But even if I distrusted her, I was beginning to believe she was telling the truth. While I could think of a number of less-than-benevolent reasons one might want me alive, I could at least trust she did want me alive, and I could work with that. I cleared my throat, working up the saliva to speak.
“He’s alive, then? Elian’s alive? How did he—”
“No more excitement for today,” she interrupted, taking the bowl. “Taking care of two people has left me way behind on my chores and chemistry studies. And I should make sure the phoenix doesn’t unlatch the lab’s shutters…”
“Kemi—what?” I blinked. “Who are you?”
“Zzzzziii...a,” she sounded out, then nodded in approval. It was almost adorable, reminding me of Elian’s sheer confidence in the most ridiculous notions. The name was obviously fake, but she spoke it with the same confidence she had earlier, as though there was no way I wouldn’t buy it. “My name is Zia. I’m just some hermit who lives in the woods. Please consider this entire experience as something like an elaborate fever dream, it will be so much easier than explaining it.”
I frowned. “Er...do you really expect me to believe—”
“Phoenix in the chemistry lab,” she suddenly announced, and glided out of the room, her blunt declaration leaving me briefly confused as to whether that was another baldfaced excuse to get her out of the situation, or actual fact. Not long after, a shattering sound and raucous cawing and honking in another room answered my question.
…Alright then.
As much as I wanted to prove her wrong about how I needed her help and could simply leave now...I wasn’t left with much of a choice. While at rest my body was simply sore, but when I tried to rise or move my limbs, my muscles would groan in protest. Her painkillers were a godsend. Still, that I felt this good, even without them, was nothing short of a miracle. Now that a little time had passed, and perhaps because she’d been so brutally honest, I had to admit that food and sleep did sound necessary. Everything else, including a way to leave, would need to wait.
The broth was delicious, unlike anything I’d ever tasted before. Most Angran broths were made from bone stock, but I wondered if this was some sort of vegetable stock. The flavors were completely unfamiliar to me. Like a cat that refused to move, drowsiness settled into my mind. Vaguely I wondered again if the broth had been drugged, and if I should be concerned, but sleep swiftly overtook my mind.
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