We were about four hours away from New Home when the carriage suddenly stopped. Nothing but woods all around us, and we were just stalled. The trip so far had been a bit bumpy, but a hell of a lot faster than walking. The carriage had been coasting along at what had to be at least ten miles an hour—by my rough estimation. Now it was going no miles per hour.

"What the hell's going on?" I called down from my position atop the carriage. I peeped over the edge to survey the scene. All I got in return was a bag of shrugs through the small window in the side of the vehicle.

Dragoon, the eggs boys, Rexen and I had been riding on top of the carriage—there wasn’t enough room to fit us all. So we clambered down, with Jumpy, Clucky, Slappy and Mortimer irritated because they’d been having fun.

Stopped. No good. Why no moving? Slappy!

From within our magical steed tumbled the crew: Veruca, Garth, Rua, Hadowar, and Orville. Each squinted, trying to make sense of the abrupt halt. Rua was already anxiously clutching her sword, while Orville just seemed disoriented, like we'd plucked him from the middle of a dream.

"Didn't smear some poor critter on the road, did we?" Garth asked. “This is a loaner. If that keeps happening, they’re gonna rip my ticket."

“Doesn’t appear to be…” Dragoon said, looking around the base of the carriage, then he looked up at Garth. “You need a license for these things?”

"Reckon usually, yeah,” Garth said. “But to be honest, didn't really bother with that. Seemed like a bloody fuss, know what I mean? Found this beast parked near the pub and took matters into my own hands—thought I'd just wait to cop it sweet later.”

“Are you saying we have been driving around in a stolen vehicle?” Veruca asked incredulously.

"Well, can't be exactly nicked if they left it idling with the keys inside, can it? I just borrowed it, reckoned it could do with a bit of a spin.” Garth returned with a roguish grin.

“Yeah,” I said. “You’re like a really slow valet. Anyway, if we didn’t hit something, then what’s the deal?”

“Yeah, we should really figure out why we stopped," Rua said, her eyes still scanning the area for signs of danger. “If fantasy books have taught me anything, it’s that this is about the time bandits will leap out of the trees and attack.”

Shit. That was a good point.

Silence fell as we fanned out, our eyes and ears on high alert. The engine, formerly a hum of Arcane energy, was now as quiet as the untouched woods around us. It was one of those moments where your heart's pounding, but you're not quite sure why.

As it turned out, we didn't have to wait long for an answer. Edwig, with all the gravitas of a spilled bowl of pudding, finally slopped out of the carriage and let out a sigh.

“I'm the one who stopped us. Needed a bit of breathing room."

“Mate, you nabbed the key from me?” Garth asked, but he sounded impressed. “Bang on—that’s a quiet pickpocketer on you.”

“What do you need breathing room for?” Dragoon asked. “A Spell?”

“Something like that,” Edwig said, and simply continued forward. When he was about ten feet away from us he lifted the golden circle he’d gotten from Garth and held it up so that the sun’s light caught it. Then he started chanting.

“Yo, what the fuck are you doing?” I called, marching forward, but Rexen stopped me.

“He needs space, pupil! By all means, run toward the shiny—I have been wanting to this whole time! But if you do, you’ll be sucked up with him.”

I slammed on the breaks real fast at that.

“He’s going in there now? What am I missing?”

“We’re almost to Tallrock,” Rua said with a shrug. “It makes sense to do it beforehand.”

“No we’re…not!” I gasped. “It took us two days to…”

Well, guess which motherfucker just realized that walking speed and carriage speed resulted in drastically different outcomes? This motherfucker.

“Oh, uh, nevermind,” I said. “But, aren’t we driving all the way to the goddamn mountains? Archie’s Fingers, or whatever? Who cares about Tallrock?”

“You won’t be taking the carriage all the way to the east,” Hadowar said. “You will be traveling through a Gateway once we get back.”

“A portal?” Rua exclaimed, as if she couldn’t believe her luck. “Aw, yeah! Right on!”

She started punching the air triumphantly.

“The hell? Nobody thought to mention it to us?” I asked. “Listen, I’ve got some reservations about portals, so—”

“Ooh! A Gateway! I haven’t been through one in some time!” Rexen said. “I think the last time, one of my party members was ripped in half because he got his Spell incorrect during the transport. Nasty, nasty way to go!”

“Yeah, that’s not easing my flight anxiety one bit,” I said. “But why the secretive reveal?”

“It was assumed, based on Edwig’s message, that you believe you are being watched,” Hadowar said. “We thought it best to reveal as little as possible while you were in the camp. You can never be certain who is listening there. Why make it easy for them to track your movements?”

“Edwig said that?” I wondered.

Huh. I guess at least one person was listening to my tin-foil.

“I have never encountered a Gateway before,” Veruca said. “Is there something specific we should perform or remember in order to complete a smooth transition?”

"No worries, mate," Garth dismissed. "They've got some whipper snapper Spell-throwers in the Order who'll sort out all the nitty-gritty. You can just kick back and enjoy the run!"

The Order, eh? I wondered. Guess I see now why Edwig’s so anxious to get his ass in the bracelet.

In the midst of our disarray, Edwig's low drone cut through, his voice an alien hum amidst the wilderness. Words tumbled forth, nearly at a whisper, with a level of harshness and trills that slowly became clear as I realized—he was using the Arcane Tongue. Which was fucking cool because that was actually one of the languages I’d picked up in the Crypt. Strangely enough, while the words themselves didn’t really translate, I still understood the underlying message behind them. Which was weird and neat.

So, when he whispered, "Dru, kazhunori, kroska vess. Olzh va Snin, tanshir uu epar," I knew that, somehow, this roughly translated to “I, vessel of energy, bind in power. Sun and Moon, guide my passage.”

So, he was…incanting? Is that a word? Let’s go with it—improv, baby! As he incanted, each syllable conjured an almost visible energy around him. A shaft of light descended from the golden ring, enveloping the illisinaf and casting his features into a jungle of shadows and illumination.

The arcane chanting trailed into silence, but the light lingered, a spectral halo that seemed to buzz in time with my pulse. Then, with his typical lack of ceremony, Edwig turned to address us.

"I'm gonna need a bit of a lift—someone’s going to have to hold on to the charm."

Rua, with her hand ever on her sword, glanced at him.

"Got a preferred chauffeur?"

"Anyone but the orc," Edwig tossed off with a dismissive wave of his wriggly noodle arm. Then, as if as an afterthought, added, "...and the specter."

"Who died and made you fuckin’ queen?" I sniped. “Also, are you able to get out of there on your own or do we have to let you out? Because you might want to be nicer if it's the latter, hombre.”

Edwig considered this.

“Pah! Alright—suppose I don’t want to let myself out too early and run into trouble. Right, when we get through the Gateway, the word to release me is ‘zhakko.’”

Emerge, I thought. Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.

“Eddy!” Garth shouted suddenly.

“Pah! What now? I’m in the middle of—”

"The flamin' key, mate! You're set to maroon us here if you nick off with it, ya drongo."

“Oh…er, yes,” Edwig said, then from within his sweater vest, the gelatinous creature procured a thin bone-colored square of stone with a shimmering blue glyph embedded in the center. He lofted it toward the nisen, but the toss was short. Fortunately, the artfully agile Hadowar was there in a flash, catching the key easily and nodding his thanks to Edwig. The illisinaf, whose eyes had gone wide as saucers, visibly relaxed and then cleared his throat. Then he spun and threw out the final words of his incantation.

Once again, I translated mentally.

“Asch, dru razha rivashe epa,” Edwig muttered—So, I become river's path. “Mar va Fero, zelka u zheire.” Sea and Fire, seal me in circlet.

There was a moment of nothing, a breathless pause, then a blinding flash of light. When I could see again, there was nothing but the circular artifact hanging in the air, suspended for an instant before it descended gently onto the grass.

We all just stood there in the aftermath, mouths agape, until Orville, the oblivious clod, finally shattered the stillness. He applauded.

“My, my!” He exclaimed. “Seeing brazen Arcana so up close is always a wonder, isn’t it? Makes you forget life’s troubles for a moment.”

I let out a laugh, half incredulous, half amused. Turning to the others, I held out my hand, the rhetorical gesture plain as I nodded toward the abandoned golden circle.

"We're all in agreement that I’m taking it, yeah?"

There was a round of nods and smirks.

“Alrighty,” Garth said, putting his hand on Orville’s still wildly applauding arms to stop him. "How 'bout we mosey on back to the township, eh? Cobbers, you wouldn't bloody believe how far we've come along."

Razha rivashe.

I froze. Had I just heard…

Razha rivashe.

Based on the tone, that voice could only belong to Clucky. He’d have definitely been picking up the lower harmonies in their barbershop quartet. But it was uncomfortably spooky that he’d decided to remember some of the phrases in the Arcane Tongue. Ah, shit, that was probably on me, huh? Considering I’d straight up mentally translated the motherfuckin’ words and junk.

Hey, Clucky, I said. We don’t know what that might do if you start just, you know, sayin’ that stuff, so maybe don’t until we know it’s not going to boil you alive or something. Savvy?

Savvy.

Well, that was interesting.

And so, they all piled back into the carriage—while the remainder of us clomped onto the roof, and once again we set off—apparently toward Tallrock, now.