Chapter Thirty - Cat Nap Mishap

“I heard that she did it because the mayor said something about her girlfriend.”

--Sam-I-Yam, gossip forums, 2057

***

I woke up because of a buzz in my head. A call over my augs.

Groaning, I turned in bed and tried to ignore it, but the call rang again, and I snapped my eyes open. I was in my room, covered by thick blankets. The room itself was cold, a fan on sweeping cool air over anything not bundled up. Lucy was next to me, breathing slowly and evenly.

I blinked a few times, then took in the time. Two fifty-six, in the AM.

I shifted to the edge of the bed, then sat there for a moment as I processed things. “Why?” I asked. I wasn’t coherent enough to make that any more specific.

The origin of the call suggests that it’s important enough to be let through. I’m sorry for waking you up.

I groaned, then stood up, turned, and fixed the blankets around Lucy. I’d left a gap open, and I didn’t want her to get cold. She grabbed the blankets in her sleep and curled up tighter around them.

“Hello?” I muttered as I answered the call.

“Cat?” a familiar voice asked. It took me a moment to place it though. See-Three, the cyborg chick in charge of the prosthetics place. We’d sent over the first shipment just yesterday. Or Lucy did, in any case. She was taking care of all of that stuff for me.

“Yeah, that’s me,” I said as I padded across the room towards the washroom. If I was gonna be up anyway, I might as well take a piss.

“Someone broke into our place,” See-Three said.

I paused by the entrance to the washroom. “Are they still alive?” I asked.

“Yes? We didn’t have anyone staying there overnight. That was probably a mistake. I got a turret thing from... I think it’s your girlfriend? Wife? But we just got it, it wasn’t installed yet.”

“Okay,” I said. “Do we know who it is?”

“I’m talking to someone right now. I think it’s just some local punks. I don’t think it’s the gang that runs the floor we’re on, but the one two floors down. I don’t know anyone well enough to ask, and the clinic doesn’t exactly have a lot of loyal customers yet,” See-Three said. She sounded pissed, and tired.

I sighed. “I’ll call you back in ten minutes,” I said. “Are you at the clinic?”

“I am.”

“Alright, stick around there. Stay safe. I’ll come over. Try to get, like, an inventory of what was taken.”

“Okay, thanks, Catherine.”

We hung up, and I went and did what I needed to do, which included splashing cold water against my face to wake up properly.

“I’m going to need a few things,” I said.

Certainly. I imagine one of them is something to wake up?

“Yeah. Hit me up with that alien caffeine. Or... what’s stronger than caffeine for waking up?”

I have several options ranging from methamphetamine to cocaine, but for what you’re looking for, I’d suggest a cheaper, less harmful alternative. For a point I can get you a cup of hot coffee-like substance laced with a well-measured cocktail of neurostimulants. It’s not chemically addictive, and tastes too bad to be addictive otherwise. It’s a tier zero item.

“Fuck it, sure,” I said. Made sense that something like that would be available to any samurai without a catalogue. It seemed like a basic necessity.

My toilet paper was also tier zero stuff after Lucy forgot to restock, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to go back to the normal stuff.

A cup appeared by the edge of the sink, just a little styrofoam cup with a plastic lid... that had a pair of cat ears and whose mouth was shaped vaguely like a cat’s.

I rolled my eyes as I took a long pull from it, then almost spat it all out. It was rank. Like coffee that had been left to boil for way too long, and it was grainy too. “This is awful!” I hissed.

The disgust you are currently feeling is the best way to counter any habit-forming. It’s not chemically addictive, and now it’s too distasteful for someone to voluntarily want to drink any in excess. I think it’s quite clever, actually. Like spritzing a cat in the face with water.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned as I forced myself to take another sip. The effects were pretty obvious, I felt a tingle race up my spine and it felt like the hazy cloud of sleepiness I was feeling just melted away. “What’s my point total sitting at?”

Current Points: 33,571

A bit higher than yesterday, and at a decent number.

“Okay... you remember that outfit from Audrey, uh, Emoscythe? I think I want to give it a go. We might need to intimidate people, and I might be caught on camera doing samurai shit. It’s as good a time as any for an image change.”

I was expecting this to come up. You already have a decent undersuit. To bring the look together, you’re mostly just missing a jacket and some utility equipment, notably belts and pouches.

“Yeah,” I said. “But I want something better than what I had before. I mean, weather-and-fire proof, better invisibility. If I’m going to upgrade my looks I might as well go all the way, you know?”

Understood, give me a fraction of a millionth of a second to work that out.

“It took you longer to say that than it did to do the work, didn’t it?” I asked.

Yes. How does nine hundred points for a suit sound? It would contain all the equipment and gear you usually carry, with a small jump pack mounted to the back and ankles for added mobility, a pierce-resistant full-spectrum camouflage weave, and kinetic absorption plates in strategic locations. It isn’t a full exoskeleton, but it’s about as close as you can come, and it’s still compact enough to fit within your armour and mech.

“Got room for some of those shoulder guns? I like those.” There should be plenty of pockets and such for grenades already, and room to holster my sword and sidearm.

That can be arranged, of course. Call it one thousand-two hundred for a full set?

I glanced at myself in the mirror, just in one of Lucy’s oversized T-shirts. “Yeah, sure,” I said.

A box appeared on the counter with a thump, close enough to our toothbrush cup to make it rattle. I started getting dressed.

It was actually tricky, the outfit didn’t just go on like a coat, it had its own pants kinda built into it that I had to squeeze into first, then I had to contract my arms a little to fit the top part on. It was built more like a jumpsuit than normal clothes, but without the usual puffy formlessness of a normal jumpsuit.

I don’t think anyone else would be able to comfortably wear this one. I shrugged it on in the end, then looked in the mirror again while zipping up the front.

I looked like... a ninja bounty-hunter.

Alright. I suppose that’s the kind of look I was aiming for. It was badass, but it was also pretty much exactly as Emoscythe had designed it.

“Alright,” I said.

You’ll want to retrieve your weapons before you leave. There’s a sleeve for your Void Terminus, and a holster for your Trench Maker.

“Mhm,” I mumbled as I left the washroom while checking my remaining points.

Current Points: 32,371

More than enough to cause some mischief.

“Cat?” Lucy mumbled from the bed.

“I’ll be back in a bit,” I said. “Just gotta take care of something.”

Lucy’s head fell back down, and I suspected that she was too out of it to make any sort of sensible reply.

I went and found my boots in the corner, then while stumbling into them I grabbed my favourite handgun, checked to make sure it was full, frowned as I realised it was missing one round, and then I realised I didn’t care that much about one round before I tucked it in place.

The coat had a flap at the back and a magnetised harness that let me wear my smaller bullpup-style Laser Pointer at the small of my back, where the coat would cover it entirely. Then the sword went into a long, flaccid sheath hanging from my other side. It was a snug fit, and I tried to be mature about the way it hung there.

I was ready for war. A small war, but war all the same.

The last thing I did was grab my helmet on the way through the main part of the house. I fitted it on just as I walked outside and started for my bike.

It was just past three in the morning, and someone, somewhere, was going to regret waking me up.

***