The noble part of Capital City sat enshrined in marble, gold, and ivory, but the royal district had blocks made only of crystals. Capital City spanned enough ground to house about 20 million although the poorest lived underground. The byproduct of this population boom was that ugly machines spitting smog everywhere was needed in order to keep society running. It was a relatively small downside in order to harness the crystal energies for their power. There was nobody who was ruling anything on this planet without using them.

Among Queen Elizabethy the 13th's favorite hobbies was covering harsh industrial power plants, sewage stations, and forges with human ingenuity. This time she was going with the latest art trends of cement sculptures of her prized race horses, and the newly minted art Tacko architectural style. Nobody needed to be reminded that humanity still had not evolved to the same elegance of the Elves. She sat on her throne looking out at her three sons playing under the same number of suns. She was the very best when it came to plotting in order to stay one step ahead of everyone else.

Nearby a green clover coated aircraft puttered into the royal hangar. The King and his inner circle clung to his side. The thrusters slowly snuffed out as they descended to the ground. Snaggy turned white as he gripped the railing, while the bootlickers hugged each other shrieking. Mardin remained steady until he spotted something outside the window that truly frightened him. A princess who'd never worked a day in her life and seemed to be always asking him for things was waiting. He had many spiteful reasons to lock her away in a tower, but his biggest resentment was that she always was able to wear him down with manipulation. She was waiting outside, keeping strict time with a tapping foot and had her arms crossed. Mardin was in fear as they slammed down on the cobbled runway with a bang.

“Daddy dearest,” teased the princess.

The King hobbled off the aircraft, and was mending a leg joint.

“What do you want from me, pork chop?” he grunted.

“Well actually I was thinking about sushi. Hey let's eat lunch together you must be starving,” said the Princess, latched on with extended nails like cat claws.

“Alright,” grumbled the King.

They headed towards the royal sushi bar. Upon reaching the door to the establishment a knight outfitted in sparkling gold ceremony armor blocked the path with the blue salute.

“Yes?” asked King Mardin.

“Sire the Queen has requested you in her chambers at once," said the knight, holding an urgent red salute.

“Very well I'm sorry my dear royal duties must be done,” said Mardin as he left, followed by Snaggy and the Bootlickers in tow.

“What an asshole,” grumbled the Princess under her breath.

King Mardin the 4th bowed gently in front of Queen Elizabethy 13th. Since the number behind her name was higher she ruled over him.

“I hear bad news,” hissed Queen Elizabethy.

“Yes, well it was a successful evacuation anyway,” cried Mardin.

“I didn’t marry much of a warrior now did I huh,” she spoke in a condescending tone.

The King lowered his head in obeisance. “Honey I know we will rebuild and restock as always have done your majesty,” he spoke softly.

“Of course, we will just mine up another million or so crystals with our slaves in the mines just to give them out to anyone with little resistance for charity,” spat Elizabethy, standing from her throne.

"Don't dare say the c word in these chambers," Mardin gasped.

She ran at him and the king shook looking away.

“SLAP!”

He was hit fiercely across the face with a dead bat.

"You are a charity case if I ever saw one," she demeaned.

“Your highness, What if the gambling houses, taverns, prostitutes, and the markets were all combined into a super mall in every city in your kingdom?” said Snaggy, nervously playing with the tassel on his cap.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Yes of course all owned and operated by the crown,” said King Mardin the 4th, adjusting his own.

“That’s it we've had enough of your vice advice, just dance you useless jester!” heckled Queen Elizabethy the 13th, sharpening her nails with a fancy crystal file.

Snaggy retreated from the thrones to the stage where he bowed. A record scratched to life as he began a slow dance to an improvisational loot, flute, and bass before doing several back-flips as the drums kicked in. The Queen loudly clapped along, while the King took two glasses of schlock from separate servants who had run in with trays. The highest royals in the monarchy dressed in fancy robes lined with every crystal color attached. One gulped, and the other scowled.

“While you are again well over your limit of daily units of intoxicant, and busy worrying about your whores. I have located a new location for us to mine for our crystal stock,” ordered Queen Elizabethy.

“Very well, we will set up a council immediately to plan with our generals. Where is this location where you have found this new source?” asked Mardin, suddenly taking great interest in his wife.

The Queen crossed her legs in the other direction of the King.

“Not after you screwed that dragon and then pissed away the castle Uput. I've already taken care of all the plans myself this time,” she hissed.

“Hmmm I'm going to the bar,” groaned Mardin.

"Of course you are, and I'm sure our enemies are thrilled they don't have to poison you when you are doing that yourself," she yelled.

"Actually I know where all the generals have gathered to celebrate what they consider to be a successfully planned war. It is there I sense that they have failed, and I wasn't invited. So I'm going to do what you've always wanted me to and go full prohibition," he replied.

"You would do everything to sabotage my military campaign," she fumed as the throne room door slammed behind.

King Mardin the 4th strode into the main hall of saluting guards. The walls were lined with pictures of royal family portraits featuring features greatly beautified in post. The massive defensive crystal hardened doors shuddered open on gears and he was blinded by the suns shining furiously. His bodyguards accompanied him as he huffed, and puffed outside.

The Capital City streets swarmed with the sounds of wartime production, and stunk of sulfur. A continuous rain of sparks flew all over from the crunching blacksmith shops, as troops marched in uniform squads. The smoke barreled into the distance from factories working overtime, and trooper transports flew out of the airfield dotting the remaining capitol skyline with the might of the human empire. The King crossed the street where two fish were standing on the corner begging for food outside the tavern.

“Where are my generals at, Bootlickers?” demanded the King.

“In there they gather sire,” said one of the two toadies, pointing.

Inside the top generals sat around blowing fat clouds with the hookah, watching an erotic dance, or slugging down schlock in celebration. A successfully planned party for a successfully planned operation. The King strode in, and the music cut off as abruptly as a guillotine. The entire tavern took up the blue salute out of respect of his royal presence. Mardin ignored eye contact from all as he took his seat at the high chair in the VIP section in the back of the pub.

“So, has everyone gone and planned the mission behind my back now,” the King growled before coughing.

He pounded a large fist on the wooden table as the rest of those seated jumped. Every waiter in the house scampered to the table side with their writing utensils ready.

“Waiter bring everyone a round of drinks on general Button’s tab,” ordered the ruler with a graying beard.

Mardin stroked his royal braids with a hand to calm nerves. General Buttons let out a loud sigh from across the room at the bar where he drank alone. The waiters were already back serving the table with cups full of murky green schlock with pickled lily and frog leg floating in the top for extra flavor and honoring tradition.

“So, how about a large pineapple pizza with glazed bugs, and the generals here telling your daddy where all the troops have gone?” said Mardin addressing the top-ranking generals gathered round.

They were mostly all his sons and daughters, with the exception of a few exceptional bastards.

“The majority of our forces are being sent to a dwarf mountain to re-up on cracked crystals," said the oldest son at the table, known as general Ricky the 3rd.

Mardin's face was red, moistened by fresh sweat and steam was coming out of his ears. He beat the table before throwing his glass at a wall, and shattering it. The generals quivered as their king picked up a chair and broke it against the bar in rage.

“You fool, Did nobody remember our hundred year deal with the dwarfs prohibits us from touching their cracked crystals,” yelled Mardin.

“Father, we have declared war. It is time for the human empire to have the crystals it has long been denied,” said Jennifer, 2nd in command.

“Just listen please,” pleaded prince Ricky, chasing after the King.

The King stormed out the second establishment in one day. The royal bodyguards followed, one of which took a large keg in his hands blocking the exit. Outside in front of the tavern a marching formation stopped in place leaving an opening. They did the blue salute and let their ruler cross the street. Ricky ran out of the door knocking a begging Bootlicker to the ground. He ran around the formation of 100 marching soldiers.

"Wait for me dad," he screamed, trying to move a heavily armored knight.

“King. Father. You don’t understand that with a steady supply of the cracked crystals we will smoke them just like the dwarfs do thus further expanding our already scientific minds to a level before thought unthinkable instead of this power being wasted on the little brutes,” yelled Ricky, his hands waving wildly as he ran to catch up.

Mardin turned and sneered as his right hand lizard blocked the path, the forked tongue slurping a threat.

“Sometimes it's good to have some friends, the dwarfs were our longest allies, and now we humans have none. You and your mother have burned the final bridge, the fearless dwarfs might be short, but they fight until their bodies give out. Our kingdom's future is uncertain with this reckless gamble for increased power that will leave a target on our backs for every civilization to attack,” said Mardin.

“We need to expand this empire until it spans the entirety of the flat Tenare, and every crystal is ours. Don’t you understand a new scientific revolution is upon us humans, and it will forever prove our superiority as a species,” called Ricky in defiance, his eyes sparkling with greed.

The King escaped his annoying kid through a gold crown door on the corner. His guard who had been waiting for his return locked it behind them. The prince was left alone stroking his triple chin lost in delusions of grandeur in the middle of a dirty alley. Behind him a flock of pigeons mixed with seagulls to fight over spilled food as it was loaded for transportation.