《Knights, Nobles, and Cannibals》Dwarf Mountain
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“We have reached altitude over target. When the light turns green remember your training and remember your mission,” yelled the commander.
“Yeah, yeah we got it,” said a few of the knights.
The drop-ship shook as the troops unlatched their leather seat belts and did a final adjustment of their armor. One Knight aimed his arrow-fed crossbow with 12 bolts at the rear plane door that would soon open, another nervously inspected his parachute again, while a third dropped the visor on his metal helmet. Only two men remained seated.
“I hope I live through this mission,” one nervously laughed.
“You'll be alright Fred,” said his friend and battlefield servant Jed.
The light burning inside the glass changed to green.
“GO! GO! GO!” yelled the commander, waving as the back door lowered by pulley from the cabin. The bravest and fiercest fighting knights jumped out as soon as they heard the order. “Alright Fred come on let's go before we end up landing in the jungle all alone” yelled Jed needling his master in the shoulder.
Jed stood, prepared himself, and ran off doing a jumping front flip. Fred followed to the edge of the drop stopping before in fright. The commander on board quickly walked behind. Fred was shoved off into the whistling air. He went flailing his arms as his stomach screamed with butterflies. Around him hundreds of others fell, with some doing tricks while a few others had prematurely opened their parachutes.
“AAAaaaAAA!” screamed Fred, frantically reaching to find the chord.
He whooshed past two more knights gliding down slowly. The dwarf anti-air cannons began firing from defensive positions on the mountain. The explosions burst in the clouds above with one danger close. Fred's armor was pelted with shrapnel, but he was fine. A nearby airship had caught fire, before exploding in flames spinning towards the ground below wiping out anything in the path. Fred gritted his teeth dodging cannonballs. When he opened his eyes he spotted his servant below him and closed his eyes for a minute before both men pulled their chutes. They drifted over an empty field holding their breaths, before finally slamming into the grass. Fred joined another knight who was kissing the ground in celebration of being alive.
"BOOM!"
The other end of the field exploded in a fireball as a drop-ship crashed down. The jungle was on fire as soldiers got closer to search for survivors. Some loud engines could be heard. It wasn’t long before the mechanized war machines came out of the woods on treads spitting flames behind. A convoy of a dozen machines powered by crystal, and additionally armored cars manned with mounted explosive cannons, and donkey carts leading the front-line assault.
“Let's go boys, it's your lucky day hop aboard, it's time to kill some dwarfs,” screamed the commander of a vehicle pulling to their side. The foot soldiers in the field piled aboard the crawling armor until they could fit no more. The rest marched towards war with the dwarfs, while the medics, witch doctors, and deserters stayed behind to salvage what they could of the wreckage. Fred and Jed found themselves sitting next to each other again, surrounded by fifteen others in close quarters as they headed into the thick jungle. Ten men with machetes cleared the path ahead while the knights took the rear with fancy guns, and thick armor engraved with the markings of historic battles won.
“Good thing we found you when we did or you guys would have been lost out in the jungle instead of battle where you belong fighting for honor, glory, and souvenir,” yelled the commander from inside a slit in the tank where all that could be seen of him was the thick chinstrap.
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“Yippie, can't wait to kill and slaughter everything,” cried Fred to himself quietly. “Ha, ha, ha you never know what you might get to kill. The legends we base many of our military doctrine on say that bloodthirsty cannibals are waiting in the jungle,and much scarier than any little old dwarfs,” laughed the commander. “You should be thankful we saved you from certain undignified death. Now soldiers you will seek glory and crystal,” another commander screamed, drawing a sword from their horse.
“FOR HONOR, FOR CROWN, FOR CRYSTAL!” the troops began to chant.
The voices traveled through the trees spreading enough to loudly drown out the sound of explosions and death in the distance. A dense fog of war filtered through the thick moss-covered jungle. The songbirds chirped, rang, and danced for their mates out of picture. A snake hung from a mangled tree covered in wispy growths. The tiny fairies flew into flowers feasting a buffet of pollen between the petals. A singular giant mushroom towered above this part of the ancient forest blowing black spores in the breeze. The troops advanced through the cracks while the vehicles found themselves funneled down a narrow corridor.
“I hope we are going the right way because I'm so ready to loot some crystals,” said a knight, wearing jolly paintings above his armor, and riding on top of the advancing tank.
“Remember if you steal from the crown, we take your hand!” yelled the commander from inside. "Everything not crystal I meant to say," said the frowning Knight.
The treads slowly crawled over the terrain bending bushes, snapping branches, and crushing root systems. A big plume of dirty smoke poured from the exhaust near where Jed had been stationed. His body was covered in soot, and spirits a little dampened. Fred sat nearby far less soiled, and had been playing spot the parrots with the jolly looking fellow. The formation had been marching many hours, and everything was beginning to look exactly the same.
"Sorry you got the worst spot, but then the rules of the land Jed," said Fred.
"Look, as long as we're out of combat I can take a bit of hazing, and the usually not great roles of a servant soldier below the knights," said Jed, always scanning for movement.
"How come you're not a knight anyway?" asked the Jolly member.
"It was decided before I was born really," he replied.
"What does that mean?" questioned the knight, removing his helmet covered in what appeared to be childlike drawing done in crayon. "You know if you go to the capital and get tested with enough medals they sometimes let in the best, so keep trying and you will get it like your friend who probably worked overtime," he finished.
Fred diverted his eyes, and body in the other direction, and remained silent.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
"Achoo," said Jed, sneezing into the exhaust that immediately vaporized his snot. "I know about that, but thanks anyway sir," he finished.
“DWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFS!” yelled a foot soldier, running from the underbrush past them, and dropping his machete in panic.
“MOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAKAA!” screamed the trees coming to life.
“Oh no we’re doomed,” cried Fred in fear.
The dwarves began running out of the wood screaming with crystal cutting axes in every hand. “Not now, master, you must fight like a real knight instead of being a doomer,” said Jed, drawing his sword. The guns, crossbows, cannons, and flamethrowers of the convoy fired at the advancing threat lighting up the jungle. A dwarf was blown to bits by a cannonball, another harpooned by the shooter attached to a donkey cart, and a third flame broiled. Some of the empire soldiers, and armor were scattered in the ensuing panic; while others were beginning to take up defensive positions as some readied their loads.
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“MOOORAKAAA!” yelled an attacking enemy, jumping through the air.
The next pack of dwarfs jumped over a log shirtless with loincloths and rabid bloodshot eyes. Arrows, and bullets cracked overhead, cutting down many, but some had already broken through the lines. Fred looked around in shock, then glanced over his shoulder twice. He had made sure to stick close to his servant like roach honey. The battle grew heated with the sounds of clanging metal, and screams of man and dwarf fighting to the death. An ax sliced right through armor like butter severing off a limb in one swift motion. The jolly knight fell to the ground with no kneecaps. More hidden hatches from below ground opened and more dwarfs ran out.
“Watch out death from above,” a commander yelled into the microphone.
Somehow the dwarves climbed into the trees above, popping out of hollowed sections of trunks or peeled off from sticky sap. Small bodies began dropping like rotten apples in an orchard crashing onto heads screaming. The jolly knight was a goner dropped on by dwarfs that scratched into his face with sharp claws. Jed ran in and started stabbing the dwarf. Fred hesitated watching him in fear. As the pack of creatures advanced onto his position he swung his sword as menacing as he could muster. Fred grew scared as there were too many of them. A naked dwarf dodged the swinging blade and jumped on Jed tackling him from behind.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” screamed Jed, struggling to break free with his weapon lodged deep deep in the dwarf that remained feral and nother naked one on top of him had also been pierced by an arrowt, but that didn't stop it from biting into an arm drawing blood.
Nearby Fred was swinging madly, cutting off another dwarf's head and stabbing at another. Jed turned punching again, and again until the fragments of broken dwarf teeth were stuck into his knuckles.
“MOOORAKAAA!” screamed three more piling onto Jed.
Fred ran over stabbing the creatures over, and over. Both sliced and diced until Fred collapsed onto the ground. Jed strangled the remaining attacker.
“I’m afraid all I can do is put a bandage on that soak it in some schlock,” said the witch doctor.
“Don’t you people have medicinal ingredients or at least can’t you gather ingredients all over a place like this?” asked Fred, as the doctor went to work.
The old man raised a gray unibrow from under his same colored hood that his beard stuck out of.
“Young man I've got a lot of patients here, and I'm very lazy due to being paid in literal peanuts,” he said in an ancient wisp of a voice.
The soldier cried in pain as the witch doctor poured schlock onto his stub of a leg. He wrapped it thick in green leaves and sealed it off with roach honey. He was onto the next one who happened to be Jed cradling a limp arm on the ground. Fred stood silently near him staring off into the distance, with his expression blank.
“Oh dear you've been bit,” said the doctor as he picked up the limp arm and dropped it as it flopped out of the socket.
“Hmm I'm going to have to crack that good,” said the witch.
He bent down over the patient. The arm loudly cracked back into place with one swift motion. Jed screamed loudly in pain causing birds to fly off above. The doctor dosed the cut in schlock, and repeated his wrapping process.
“Hopefully that stops any infections from forming, but my oh my do dwarfs have dirty mouths. Alright next” said the witch doctor, leaving.
The next man over wasn’t moving, except for the thick dried blood seeping out his chain-mail. Fred briefly made eye contact with Jed before he went back to watching the wood in silence. The witch doctor took out his zombie crystal stabbing the fallen Knight back to life.
"Well, well. No Knight ever gets left behind after all," said the Doctor, helping his patient to rise.
The commander ran in with his fancy battle armor and scruffy facial hair.
“Any able-bodied person, it is time to go. The rest of the army is counting on us to advance, come on out you lazy bums,'' he commanded.
“You know that thing they yelled when they ran at us all crazy, what does that mean anyway?” asked the soldier next to Fred back on the tank.
“It translates to something like long live the crystal I've heard,” said another.
"Huh I guess they aren't too different from us, well apart from being too short, and having fuses the same lengths,".
“The dwarfs smoke their precious crystals before every battle, giving them immense power and no fear. That is what we are after boys, for the crown to study in their labs,” yelled the commander from his dark slit underneath the seat.
“They seem completely nuts. What use could humanity ever have with something so toxic to the mind” said a man in glasses, and a jester outfit riding next to them on a mule.
“Did anyone ask the pacifist for his advice?” sneered the commander as most of the soldiers near pointed at him and laughed.
“I’m still here, with you all aren't I? I've come to draw and record everything that transpires. I'm no coward,” he calmly said.
“Shut up idiot fool!” yelled a soldier throwing a coconut at his head.
The jester blocked the projectile from hitting his noggin with an outstretched arm. He sighed, cradling the bruised arm.
"I suppose even with manners their height too little fit in human society without being shortly driven back out,"
The laughter continued as the man steered his mule away with a good hand where they could be in better peace alone in war. About an hour later the forest opened to a clearing where empty bamboo huts cluttered. The target mountain towered over them while planes flew over top of it dropping exploding bombs. Blocking the path was a chasm wider than a mile that fell into darkness.
“Commander the dwarf mines ahead but our path is blocked, how do we get across?” asked a scout running back to the group.
The tank hatch opened and out appeared with a mop of greased white hair. The grizzled man in short shorts, and a tank top covered in sweat frowned as he inspected the area from atop his metal box. He was only a hair higher than a dwarf climbed out.
“Good question,” he barked, jumping off the tank.
A commotion as the troops struggled to get out of each other's way clearing a path for their commander struggling even worse. The thick mud ate at the boots of the soldiers just like the bugs. Eventually he made way over to the edge. He kicked a rock over the side that disappeared without any feedback of reaching rock bottom. The commander looked to his right. He noticed further down a large ramp of earth leading gradually downwards.
“We will siege the mines under dwarf mountain, and surprise them on their own turf taking that very convenient path,” he yelled, pointing.
“You heard the man, let's move our troops!” yelled another commander close by before another could spread the word further down the line.
The convoy slowly changed course, rotating on tracks, and marching in formations. A 4x4 driving beside the dwarf shantytown jumped debris flying to the lead. Soon they descended down the ramp into what appeared to be enemy mining operations. The soldiers with flamethrowers stayed behind to light foreign objects on fire.
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