The fires crackled throughout what remained of the skeletal frames of burning buildings. The legs of a dead witch stuck out of the sand dune that had collapsed on top of her. A hangman's noose swung gently in the breeze that pushed orange desert dust.

Nearby Jed lay in the sand on the outskirts of the former boom town, turned into a ghost town in shambles. He coughed, and hacked up black phlegm matching the plumes of smoke in front of him.

“Phew.”

He brushed off the big beads of sweat that had collected on his forehead, threw off the last remnants of his ruined advanced armor, and tossed away the empty bandolier. He was walking with an annoying amount of the dirt stuck in them leaving rough impressions in his roughed up flesh and slowly falling down his rawhide chaps. Jed’s entire body ached horrible like it had been dragged down a mean street 100 miles long. He spit out the spent purple shield gum that had saved him from certain death, and partially disintegrated the head of the witch, beating her to the bubble.

The stars were out in the quiet night sky and it felt like it was almost cold enough to be on the verge of frosting. There was nowhere left to go, not even a shack left in town to sleep in, or a horse to ride out on. And the jungle juice that he had invested everything into delivering on time had been stolen out from underneath him by a pack of flying witches.

“Siiiigh,” he said, holding his head in shame.

The cactuses surrounding him cast spiked shadows in the wavy sand illuminated by the double moons hung high overhead. Jed thought he could still hear the airships that had flown off with the tanker, but as the ringing continued he realized it was his ears.

He pulled himself up and kicked the sand in a rage. If only Mule was here he could have saved the day and they both could have still gotten paid. He fell back on his ass, and continued to grumble. It was time to give up on the very difficult quest. It had all been for nothing and he was probably going die here of thirst.

His luck had run out and his energy was sapped. Jed gazed up at the stars as his vision blurred and the landscape felt like it was spinning. He drifted off into a plane of nothingness where there were no dreams to be seen.

Meanwhile Edward slicked back his remaining hairs with the pomade he had looted from the warden's quarters upstairs. He might have had a bald spot now, but he was doing his best to pretty himself up for the return to the capital. The reflection was cracked, and his eyes had trouble looking fine in the bright lighting.

“Mhhh…” he said aloud, inspecting the scars that ran across his chest with what remained of stitching.

“When I find that bastard who locked me up I’m going to do a little operating myself,” he mused, lifting out a massive body part that entered the mirror.

His stump had long ago mutated beyond recognition and the hardening crystal scales looked as if they had taken hold of half his chest. The dark bags under his eyes were sunken into the bone and it looked like his skull was beginning to crystalize underneath his suit of worn skin. Going forward life was going to be hard, but if you wanted to be the best you had to sacrifice some of your health for it.

“GRRRRRR,” he fumed.

The stump came down quickly smashing apart the sink into splintering chunks that stuck to his hardened exterior. Next he smashed the mirror for good and punched a hole in the drywall for good measure. No matter that he no longer had royal blood in his veins. He was going back to his kingdom. If they didn’t let him back on the throne he would burn everything to the ground.

Edward stumbled out of the bathroom past the office that looked like a warzone. The desk was pulled apart, the filing cabinets crushed, and the coach cushions slit open just like any throats that dared get in his way. His large head was feeling light as e began to see things in the hallway. The figures weren’t exactly human, but they were dark and shadowy remnants of some sort. Now it sounded like they were whispering behind his back in tongues that were slurred.

“Who goes there?” Edward screamed, grabbing onto a watercooler for support with his hand that was still human.

“”Barf!” all over the shiny tiles in the basement of Killin Manor.

“Somebody help me oh…Blaugh,” his cries were interrupted by involuntary dry heaves that overtook his entire body.

Edward hung onto the cooler for dear life as it teetered on the edge of tipping over with him. The background chatter had only gotten louder. It sounded like the inside of a busy diner, as the shadows closed in closer. Now the entire hallway was dim. The lights got further away by the second. His heart tried to keep beating irregularly, off time through his chest.

It was time whilst he was powerful enough to further his monstrous evolution by pillaging the countryside. Ifhe played his cards right he imagined getting to a level where nothing could stop his forward momentum. The floor got another round of liquid heaved onto it, but it wasn’t thrown up this time. The water cooler had smashed along with Edward’s noggin on the tiles coated with a pooling vile mixture.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

The shadows sounded as if they were giggling, and mocking him now. His vision had been cut to pitch dark, his heart was beating slower, and slower. The shadows whispered directling into his ears signaling strange things.

They were directly on top of him, but their chatter was still entirely foreign. The remaining hairs on his neck were raised while he felt his body feel as if it was floating. He opened his eyes, but continued to see nothing. It sounded as if a door was opening and hot air was blowing. He went to shout for help again, but his mouth wasn’t moving. Then he felt something tighten around his neck. His arm reached down to grab it, as the grip tightened, cutting off his life, and the oxygen to his brain. It must have been a noose.

“ZAAAP!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” he screamed in the perfectly lit hallway.

The puddle he had soaked in sparked alive with electric current.

“Damn it man it’s a good thing we found you,” said a pair of floating defibrillators coming into focus in the blinding light.

Edward closed his eyes and opened them again to see a crowd of prisoners gathered around a medical cart that had been wheeled out. He felt a pinch as he was stabbed in the back with something sharp, and hot fluid entered his body. His heart, and the rest of his body jerked back into gear like a motor.

“You're probably going to need to carry the rest of this adrenaline on you,” said the doctor who looked stained like he had just come out of surgery holding a row of syringes, and a bottle of clear liquid.

“Thanks doc, hey what’s truly up with my health anyway?” askedEdward.

“Yeah none of us actually know anything buddy, we just stole these uniforms to blend in when we make a run from the compound into the woods,” said a guy wearing a nurse getup.

“But it seems like you got a bad heart given to you in the operation you told us about,” said the escaped convict snapping on fresh blue latex gloves wearing a bloodied doctor suit.

“No shit.. I knew that man. Look I’ve just got a lot on my mind you know revenge is an all consuming emotion and quest to finish before I die all that matters is staying alive long enough at this point to fix my mistakes,” said Edward.

“You’ve got a bad heart boss, but try to keep a clear head and keep it simple,” laughed Jarvis, who along with a few other zombies had joined the crowd that was blocking both sides.

“Well I learned my lesson boys, and jeez a man falls once, and everybody gets a look in their eyes like they have no more faith in my leadership,” said Edward, climbing to his feet.

He pushed a way through the mob, and grabbed the portable defibrillator for self reviving himself later. The pool of people was growing from the stairs that had taken them 10 hours to climb. There were more coming up in a single file every moment.

“Well any other clues in this maze I'm ready to hit the road before this place is overfilling,” said Edward.

His crew remained silently frowning until somebody coughed. The miners were still clothed in their ratted prison uniforms with some having reached similar levels of crystal mutation to him.

“Yeah the car depot is this way let’s go boss,” yelled a voice down the hall.

“Alright Jarvis, and anyone else who wants to ride with me let's split,” he said, pushing through the crowd.

Edward climbed another staircase, and heard engines revving. They entered a packed garage. Killin Hood had quit the collection of vintage Crystallacs from the past century. Their big boxy features and shiny paint gleaned in the tube lights that hummed above. Killin Hood may have liked to abuse people, but he sure spoiled his machines. Perhaps knowing his ruthlessness was what got him the expansive collection of motors that cost an arm and a leg was enough.

The garage doors slowly opened revealing many empty parking lots, with more cars idling as the occupants packed inside like sardines. The speeding rear end of one automobile bounced hitting a speed bump on the way out. At the last second he spotted a familiar device he had long forgotten. A crystal hook being shown off greedily in the backseat by the convict who looted it.

“Gentlemen, I wish you all the best with this place, oh and dibs on that one,” said Edward, galloping for the nearest available ride.

Before he got there he spotted the largest tailfin at the other end. It was an old school classic that kinda looked like a shark. Edward sprinted to the convertible and climbed inside using the luxury running boards. The engine started with a bravado you just didn’t hear anymore. This model had a massive rare v16 motor and was extremely power hungry just like him. There was only a single passenger seat and right now it was reserved for Jarvis. The undead servant he had befriended on his latest trip to the core buckled himself in.

Edward put the pedal to the metal. The brand new tires burned into the floor as he spun out of the garage screeching all the way burning rubber. The vehicle jumped the bump flying into the air like a spaceship and slammed down without slowing her roll.

Just when the great escape couldn’t have gone better he spotted the fleeing vehicle with the object he wanted. The tires blew dirt gripping the winding road as he closed in for the kill. Those inside had their smiles cut short as they turned to see his bloodshot eyes behind the window. The man in the backseat lifted the hook to use it, but it was too late.

“Crunch.”

The trunk of the other car was crumpled as it was eaten up by the teeth of the practically indestructible grill of Edward’s machine. They came unstuck again, both skidded around a corner, and drifted out an open gate from the compound. The trees flew by as the road became a dirt highway, and the predatory vehicle overtook the rear tires on one side.

“Smash!”

The pit maneuver was right on target, and the vehicle turned over tumbling through the sky. It was off the road now airborne until a tree caught it.

“CRASH!”

Edward grinned with pleasure as he stopped in the ditch. He had chased down his prey like a tiger chases a human. The unfortunate crash test people inside the backseat hung upside down, while the front had been thrown clear. The predator walked in front of the powerful illumination of the crystal headlights where he spotted his prize. His feet entered thick mud, and he triumphantly held his modified hook launcher that Killin Hood had tried to take away. He climbed back inside the vehicle he had stolen as the first part of settling the score.

“Well now it is time to finish things, how about some gas,” Edward said, gripping the fancy wheel again.

Jarvis zapped him with the electric juice to kick-start his heart into proper function. They zoomed away into the night at high speed.