☆ Hey readers! My vacation has recently turned, but lots of cool weather and clouds means time inside to write! I'll be back shortly to my regular wifi and I can't wait. I'm honestly floored by the feedback and reception of this book, I write these stories for fun and it really warms my heart to wake up every morning and see a new comment or vote. Thanks for all the reads, sappy message over :)) ☆ 

What is wrong with me? Why did I say that to her? I could have just left it when she begged me to understand but I had to take it that one extra step and tell her it felt like she was making excuses. I'd be lucky if she'd ever talk to me again.

But I did feel that way, I didn't care that she was still going through her family problems. I love Sasha, I want her to know that even if she's a mess trying to sort this stuff out, I still want to be there with her.

I know that wasn't how I came across though, it sounded like I was leaving her or like I was giving her an ultimatum. I shouldn't have said anything, because at the end of the day, I did love her. I told her I'd wait and instead I seemed like a greedy loser who couldn't wait one day after her moving in with her family before wanting her to go out with me.

Was I wrong in what I said? Was she wrong in her reaction? Maybe we were both wrong to a certain degree, I worried about what this could mean for the future. Would we both get so easily offended the next time we got into a fight?

What was really hurting me was how upset she looked, she made it sound like I'd given up on her. That was the last thing I wanted to do with Sasha, I wanted her to trust me and to know that I wasn't going anywhere. She intentionally called me 'Nate', I knew she meant to hurt me back.

She also made the point about Sabrina, how I lead her to believe things would change too. I knew she was right but it hurt to have her rub salt in fresh wounds. But part of me wondered if she was worried about me moving on. I knew it had only been a little over a week and a half since I dumped Sabrina and that she hurt me. But things with Sabrina had felt over for a long time, and I didn't find myself missing her.

I knew what I wanted and I wanted Sasha. I just wanted her to understand that nothing had to change between us either, that I didn't expect anything from her. Of course I wanted to take her out on a real date and everything but I'd also be happy to stay in with her and cuddle every night. I knew that wasn't really like me, but I'd been enjoying my recent downtime. Sasha made everything feel effortless, it was amazing.

I don't know how long I've been staring at my celling, I just know I came home, laid down on my bed and didn't move. I've debated calling her about fifty times but I wouldn't know what to say or how to fix this. I figured I'd talk to her about it tomorrow, she seemed upset and I'm sure she wanted time to herself.

Then I groaned thinking about her hanging out with Kate, she was probably crying on her shoulder right now. Kate was probably encouraging her to focus on herself and how 'I was just a guy' or something ridiculous like that. I wasn't just a guy because Sasha wasn't just a girl and she had to know that.

I suddenly feel my eyes widen when I hear a weird noise outside my bedroom window. It sounds like a whole bunch of banging around and I start to get really freaked out. Then I watch my window getting pulled up and I shoot up straight like an arrow ready to run out of the room. Then something unbelievable happens, I watch a blonde head of curls poke through the window.

"Sash?" I say as I watch her crawl the rest of the way through the window. She stands up and closes it behind her, taking a deep breath.

"H-hey." She says quietly. 

I'm so floored I don't even know what to say, I didn't know the right way to approach the situation, given how we acted the last time we were together.

"I'm really, really sorry." She says shaking her head. "I don't know why I acted like that, you were just trying to tell me how you felt and I took it so personally."

Woah, that was definitely not what I was expecting. I didn't think she'd apologize right off the bat, and I didn't even think I'd see her again today.

"And I'm really sorry for bringing up Sabrina, I know that's a touchy subject and that you really got hurt by her. That wasn't alright." She says, shaking her head and I watch her press her lips together. She ends up looking at the floor and I watch a tear run over her face.

"I-I really didn't want to bring you into my problems. But I know I have and in me trying to protect you, I just hurt you more. I do love you, I love you a lot and I know I ended up upsetting you." She whispers.

"The truth is I didn't want you to change your mind. I thought you'd get overwhelmed by me, that I was too complicated. You're....amazing and I didn't know if you deserved all of my problems." She sniffles and I feel my own eyes start to sting from tears.

"I didn't know if I was ready.....I didn't. I was so in my own head about it I wasn't thinking." She says. "But I am.....Nathan there isn't anything I want more than to be with you. I'd love to be yours, really be yours. I want to be able to walk around school holding hands, I want to be able to say something other than that you're special to me."

I almost couldn't believe my ears, she was really saying the thing that would make my knees buckle instantly. She really did want to be with me.

"I-I want to put at title on this, on us." She says quietly. "Please don't hate me." I make my way across the room and put my hands on her arms.

"I don't hate you." I say quietly and she nods. "I could never hate you, I love you unconditionally. That doesn't change." She looks up and meets my eyes making my heartbeat pick up. "I'm sorry too."

She leans in and wraps her arms around me and I feel myself relax. 

"You don't have to be ready to go out with me just because of how I reacted. That wasn't fair, I told you I'd wait until you were ready and I know you were trying to go through so many things." I whisper, running my hands over her back.

"I just wanted us to have a really good shot." She whispers. "I wanted everything to be perfect for when we did decide to really be together." She says pulling back to hold the sides of my face. "But then I realized how ridiculous that sounds, we do everything together. I trust you, you've seen me and I've seen you. I love you, there's no reason to wait for a perfect moment when none of them have been perfect this far." I smile and put my hands on her waist bringing her closer.

"You're serious?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows and she nods with a smile.

"I am." She says quietly.

"Are you sure?" I ask. "I know all of this is new and-"

"Nathan I'm positive." She says and I laugh a bit. "I love you to death."

"Well then, Sasha, Elena, Petrov." I say and she laughs a bit. "Would you please do me the honour of being my beautiful girlfriend?" She smiles and I watch another tear roll over her cheek.

"Yes." She whispers. "I'd love to." I pick her up and spin her around feeling her laugh over my shoulder.

"I love you." I whisper, holding her just an inch back from my face and she smiles, dragging her nose against mine.

"I love you more." She whispers back and I press my lips to hers.

"So how was your evening with Kate?" I ask and she smiles.

"It was great." She whispers. "Kate helped me sort myself out, she usually does."

"Should we start paying her for relationship counselling?" I ask and she laughs wrapping her legs around my waist.

"Maybe." She whispers and I laugh. "I think they're conclusions I would have gotten to on my own, she just helps me get there faster."

"I'll have to meet her one day." I say and she smiles.

"She'd ask you a lot of questions." She says and I laugh. "Kate's a pretty open person, I'm a pretty quiet person so we're a good pair."

"Do you talk about me with her a lot?" I ask and I watch her cheeks turn red.

"Not you.....like how I feel about me and you? A little bit about you I guess." She admits and I laugh.

"What do you talk about?" I ask.

"Usually it goes a little something like this: 'so how is everything with mister dreamboat?'" She says in a nasally voice and I laugh. "Then I say 'things are great, I love him. But I want your advice.'" She tells me. "Then she'll give me a pep talk and send me back to you. Then she'll say 'he's really cute you know?' and then I say 'yes he is.'" She whispers and I smile.

"Think I'm cute huh?" I ask and she nods. "Good because you're pretty cute too." She laughs a bit and I sit down pulling her into my lap.

"Can we talk about something?" She asks and I nod.

"Sure, whatever you want." I say and she takes a deep breath.

"I-it's about....you know the s-sex stuff?" She says and I nod, feeling a lump build up in my throat. Part of me wanted to know why she wanted to talk about it, we hadn't really been that way together since Tuesday.

"What is it?" I ask clearing my throat and she sighs.

"I-um....I don't know if I'm you know.....ready." She says quietly. "Part of me feels like I am, but I'm not sure? I-I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking about it....how do you feel about it?"

"Sash to put it bluntly, I'm ready whenever you are." I tell her and she laughs. "I'm not pressuring you and I'm not going anywhere. But if you decide you're ready, we'll take it slow. You just have to let me know." She nods a bit at that and sighs.

"Alright." She whispers and I smile.

"I just want you to know....that I really care about you. That I don't expect that just because we're official. That's not what you are to me." She leans in and kisses my forehead. "I think you're beautiful."

"T-there's something else too." She whispers. "It's a little weird but I figured I should just tell you when we're talking about all of this anyway. I-um, I've been on the shot for over a year now." I feel my eyes widen from her saying that and she just nods quietly.

"Really?" I ask and she nods. "Why? I mean, unless you'd rather not talk about it." I tell her, realizing I'd just put my foot in my mouth.

"To stop my period." She says, averting her eyes. "It was just for convenience with training and everything. Just thought I should tell you."

I have to stop the smile that comes up on my face, Sabrina had been on the pill but she was a lousy user. Always missing pills and trying to have sex without condoms, I wasn't planning on being a teen dad so I did research before I took her word for it. Thank god I did. I ended up finding out plenty about contraception, including the shot.

"Interesting." I mumble and she furrows her eyebrows.

"What do you mean by that?" She asks and I laugh.

"I mean it's almost one-hundred percent effective unless I'm mistaken." I tell her and her cheeks go red. 

"W-well I guess so." She says quietly. "I'd be more comfortable with it though if-"

"If we used a condom?" I ask and she nods. "Totally fair, it just puts my mind at ease honestly Sasha." She smiles a bit at that and laughs uncomfortably.

"So....that's just where I'm at I guess." She says quietly running her hands over my chest. "I want the closeness, the trust and the love, that part I know I'm ready for. But......I don't know if I'm ready for everything that comes with it, I'm still not great at talking about it."

"I get it." I say quietly running my fingers through her hair. "I honestly do, I know you're not sure and that's alright." She smiles a bit at that and nods taking a deep breath. "But there is this one thing I'd really like to do with you." I whisper, running my hands over the sides of her body. "I've been thinking about it for a long time and I know you've never done it before, but I'd like to be your first experience." I hear her gasp a bit as my hands push past her top and rest on her bare skin.

"W-what is it?" She asks suddenly, swallowing harshly.

"I'd like to take you out on a date." I whisper and I watch the fear leave her face. "A real date, to a restaurant, with you. What do you think?" I ask and she smiles.

"You had me for a second there." She whispers and I laugh. "I love that." 

"Then it's a date." I whisper and she smiles tackling me to the bed and pressing her lips to mine.