"I missed you so much," Harmony held both of your hands and looked deep into your eyes. If it were up to you you would kiss her right away, but probably out of sorrow.

It scared you to feel these feelings day after day. When girls walked past you, you suddenly noticed and felt things that you had never noticed or felt before.

And suddenly all the blond women looked like Lilith Ritter.

The woman you worry about every night.

"Honey you seem all messed up," Harmony brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"I'm just not in the mood," you replied, before letting her putting a dark red lipstick on your lips.

"Don't screw it up." Her hand slipped as you spoke.

"Harmony! You only had one job," you stood up noticing your black dress had ridden up.

You bought it specially for the frat party a few days ago. It was the shortest dress you ever owned.

Going to this frat was becoming addictive.

After Harmony wiped off your smeared lipstick with a tissue, she tried again.

"Look at me," you stood in front of the mirror and didn't recognize yourself.

"Just a few months ago I was with Scarlett and Sophie at the library for at least two hours a day to study.

Then they would go shopping or meet guys and I would continue studying with Gabriel. I would meet my parents and have lunch with them, and now I look like a bitch." That's when you broke down and it took Harmony half an hour to get you back of your sadness.

Those were mixed feelings because of the excitement. This excitement had always accompanied you the last days. Suddenly you did things that you wouldn't have thought of half a year ago.

The good girl who loved to spend her time as far away from any party as possible was going to a party again.

"Have some more," Harmony handed you a bottle of something to drink.

It was a big mistake hanging out with Harmony. But avoiding her would be even harder because she wasn't hiding from you anymore and she shared the dorm with you.

"I'm done. Let's go show them!" you slammed the bottle onto Harmony's desk.

"What do you mean by that?" Harmony packed some more things in her bag.

"Nothing Harmony. I suddenly have such a need to show the whole world that I won't let anyone intimidate me and boss me around, because I'm independent!" With this sentence you grabbed your handbag and opened the door.

"What happened to the Y/n I met recently..." Harmony looked at you like she was looking at a new version of herself.

You may be more like her than you thought.

***

"Yes!", you heard someone moan softly.

"And now, kiss." Her voice was the last one you wanted to hear.

But it was also the first thing you heard when you entered the house.

You stopped at the door and glanced at the corner to the red couches.

There was Ms. Ritter, one hand buried in one young woman's hair and the other buried in the hair of another.

She was holding the two women's heads who were kissing each other while the loud music blared through the room.

"Fuck, that's awesome!" Mr. Black bit his lip while Joyce kept recording everything.

Of course you tried to hold back. But you wouldn't be yourself if you would not already thinking of something stupid.

"Wait here," you gave Harmony your bag and made your way to what was probably the most popular group in this crowded room.

Pushing your way through a bunch of dancing drunken strangers, you got closer and closer to your goal.

"You like that?" You looked at the teachers and students who actually seemed very innocent and harmless.

Lilith let go of the two girls who looked at each other so hungry as if they were about to eat each other.

"How do you like that?" Your hand grabbed the blonde girl's chin before you pressed your lips to hers and gave her a quick kiss. You immediately pulled the other student's hair towards you and kissed her a little longer. Both tasted of alcohol and cigarettes.

"God you never learned how to kiss a girl, did you?" you laughed out loud looking at the students.

"What a bunch of embarrassing dumb bores." You felt a nearly killing look on you the entire time.

But it wasn't Lilith.

Before you walked back to Harmony, you looked at a dark blonde woman. Her green eyes fixed you with all their might. She had one eyebrow raised, her lips parted slightly and she traced her fingers thoughtfully along her chin.

Even if it was just a moment, it felt like forever.

And suddenly you felt guilty.

Did she see all this?

It's so easy to destroy your own image.

"What the hell?" Harmony covered her mouth with her hands.

That's when you realized, too, that she really had been watching you.

"I have to get out of here..." you pulled Harmony out of the building.

It was at least as crowded outside as inside, but the cold air kept you from suffocating.

You leaned against a wall and tried to clear your head.

"Want to tell me something?" Harmony still looked shocked by what she had seen.

You squeezed your eyes shut.

"Did this just happen?"

"Yeah?" Harmony couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Dude, I've always wanted to have a lesbian friend!", again she put her hands on your shoulders and looked you seriously in the eyes.

"Does that turn you on?" She raised and lowered her brows.

"Shut up!", you were desperate but this time you laughed too.

"Harmony, I think I really do like girls." As you said that, you smirked again.

"I stood there and that was the only thing I wanted to do at the moment. I wanted to kiss them. Am I sick?" Your hands trembled as you gestured before a tear of relief fell from your eye.

You left Harmony and ran to a red-haired student who was holding a drink and talking to a boy. You gave her a smile and kissed her passionately.

"God that's so embarrassing!" You didn't know her but you were beaming all over your face. She looked confused but she smiled in surprise.

Harmony finally pulled you back to the wall you were leaning against earlier.

"Now don't go crazy, you crazy girl." She straightened your hair and gave you that feeling you often felt when you were with Harmony. You felt safe.

Her eyes wandered to the entrance and her laughter died down.

"Okay listen dear, I have to go.

Take care, promise me?

Please don't do stupid things.

And text me when you get home." She spoke as quickly as she disappeared.

Your eyes searched for her but you lost her in the crowd.

***

"Y/n", it was Lilith.

You took a drink from the counter that a boy named Timothy had served you before turning to face her.

She looked at you as you wished.

Disappointed, hurt, shocked-

but she looked at you like you were someone again. And not someone who was useless and worthless.

"Do I really have to make a fool of myself before you like me?" You took a sip of the cold drink.

"Hey, who told you I like you?" She came closer. Only then you had the opportunity to take a closer look at her black dress. Lilith wearing black wasn't a surprise anymore. Maybe you had adjusted to her, wearing black, too. But her dress was definitely longer and it showed more neckline than yours.

You already saw the high heels she wore before. She had previously worn them to a party.

"So what do you want from me?" You leaned against the counter as she got even closer.

"Didn't they teach you how to talk to older women? Where have all your manners gone, kid." Her old-fashioned manner got you down.

"I knew it." You walked past her, shoulders brushing.

"No, wait", you felt the breath in your ear and stopped immediately, even if your brain told you to go. It was your heart that held you back.

"Give me one more chance," she whispered as her fingers gripped your arm, firm but comfortable.

"Why should I?" Your eyes looked up at her painfully.

"I feel something completely new when I'm around you." Her voice got hoarse.

Many of your inner thoughts wanted to persuade you to run. Out of the building, home. To your parents.

Far away from Lilith. But at the same time you wanted to stay here. Feel her hand on your arm.

"How do I know that I can trust you?", This time you spoke more quietly. More anxious.

Lilith was different from all the other women and girls in this world.

Suddenly you were attracted to many girls, but Lilith was a different feeling. It was more than just lust.

Behind it was love, trust, care and reliability, devotion and unfortunately also jealousy, fear and curiosity.

"I guess I can't tell you that." She loosened her grip.

"But why don't you find out?"

And once again the lion defeated the mouse.